I'm Looking For Friends

Ok so I'm bored and I want to make a novel but I never did this before so I kinda need help ok so the problem is i can think of ideas to make novels but i can't write it like it makes sense in my head but when i write it down i don't know how to make it make sense like i can't convey the plot if you know what i mean

And the plot I'm going for is VERY dark and twisted/depressing and honestly disgusting but like that's the point i'm trying to go for a direction where it makes the readers very uncomfortable to read it but they can't stop because it's so interesting if you know what I mean and it has topics like rape torture kidnapping manipulating and some more stuff that I can't really say because that'll kinda spoil some of it but uh yeah you get the point and just to clarify i'm not romanticizing any of this like i said the purpose of this novel is to make the readers very uncomfortable/sad while reading it And feeling like huh wtf did I just read and honestly just lost after finishing it and yes i know that sounds weird to make a novel like that but i read a novel like that one time and it's still stuck in my head to this day and that's the kinds impact i want to leave on my readers if you know what i mean but the problem is the plot is so complex and kinda confusing i guess so it could either be hit or miss if i write it right it could be amazing if not it could be like any trashy novel out there so like any tips?

and let me know if knowing the plot of the novel will make it any easier to give me tips if so i'll dm you it