Hug Your Parents

K so I hav a little question. I mean I’ve never hugged my parents. My mom always wanted us to hate our dad and as a kid that’s just wat we did we hated him cuz u kno she was our mom.

My mom has always been like this .when we were younger she wud hit us and stuff and now we’re older she doesn’t as much but she’s always reminding us wat dipshits we r. She’ll swear at me and curse me but weirdly she won’t do it to my siblings.shell act all nice and caring and treat random strangers better then her own kids.and at family gatherings she will always embarrass me by saying rlly personal stuff or just make fun of me and my relatives just agree.

when I was much younger she wud say stuff like if u like ur dad more then me then u can go ask him make u meals. I sit everyday and ask my self wtf is she thinking is she angry. Is she upset wat will happen next.whenever I sit down and eat I hate it cuz it’s the food she made.she complains to us about how much she works for us and all we want is her dead.im confused.

Whenever I’m around her I feel so fucking scared.i don’t kno why sometimes I wanna cry in a corner and just sleep.

I’m so paranoid.her voice actually fucking makes it hard for me to breathe.my grandmas exactly the same .i hav 5 other sisters.

One ran away from home one had an arranged marriage and acts like my mom and the others just don’t give a fuck.i hate my mom so much but I don’t kno why. I’m always ridiculed,made fun of,bullied cuz of my mom .my dad doesn’t giv a fuck either I just I just get so fucking tired of it .

I mean do families work like this.is this my life nowadays forever.ive tried to harm myself and kill myself yet I kno if I do ill just burden my mom with the funeral costs I don’t kno wat to do anymore I’m just tired of it .some advice wud be great thanks#－.－)