Anal Sex

I ran away from home with intention to die, but was stopped by my friend there and their mother. The reason was simple, I can't stand being home all the day( never let me leave outside , even a bit walking)it's just home to college and college to home. Overall the classmates at there are all rude to me (I don't know what I did to them and no one is acting like friends but foes) and in home I can't stay here , my sibling jealousy and my father is a psycho and my mother is someone I can't really be with( she got mood swings and very sad life). my sibling keep reminding studying is the only reason my parents tolerance my existence and my wishes, my mother cries if i fail in my final exam and my father is not satisfied and keep reminding me to not to be like my siblings and waste the money( the pressure is not something I can't handle like everyone). So i decided I can't stand being in home, so i took the train and went to my friend place which is very far away and i thought of kms after meeting her one last time but my friend made me go to her home and then the mother convinced me to talk to my parents in phone that I am arrived here , i never excepted to hear the panic sound of my parents, i thought they should be yelling and cursing at me but it's not.( Well i guess i shouldn't have imagined them changing just because of that , I mean I got fooled so many times like that.)So after I went with my parents to home( the whole ride was silent) then they started asking me why i did it , I told them the truth and they tell me "that's it"? My sibling is very mad and said I did this all on purpose for other reasons and my mother and father are now concerned about what others are thinking and telling me that i created even more problems for them , they didn't even say anything sorry, but they kept telling me that they were worried and had to humiliate themselves to outside people, my mother say she should be the one to go not me, that i didn't think of them once ( i did ), my sibling keep comparing me that I don't have any problems like him and I am pathetic, sibling say that I am very lucky that I got everything sibling wanted (even tho I never wanted those things ) . In the end i can't escape and made the situation wrose. Now I have to live with this guilt forever.( I said sorry to them and I said I will never do it again)Thanks for everyone that made it this far to read this lol. I don't know what to do now. Maybe I shouldn't have thought this type of shit worked with my parents to be stable but it's the country of World most population and i should have excepted, that they care more about reputation then me. Well thanks