Feeling Left Out

Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.

What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barberqueue.

Do you know the last thing my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket? “Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket.”

If a pig loses its voice…does it become disgruntled?

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up.

How can you tell it’s a dogwood tree? By the bark.

When does a joke become a “dad joke?” When it becomes apparent.

What do you call 26 letters that went for a swim? Alphawetical.

I want to make a brief joke, but it’s a little cheesy.

What did the grape say when it got crushed? Nothing, it just let out a little wine

I want to be cremated as it is my last hope for a smoking hot body.

Why was Dumbo sad? He felt irrelephant.

Becoming a vegetarian is one big missed steak

i was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

does anyone else have the captcha?? like im just trying to send a message and i have to do the captcha shit every single time