Have Eating Disorders

Im selling fetuses! I have some some fresh, a day old, and even a year old! Which one will you choose? ( Choose wisely) : )

I'm desperate. Four months ago I was 70kg (162cm), and I was sick of my disgusting body. After three months of starving I reached 50kg, but my goal was (and is still 46kg). My family noticed my weight lose and forced me to eat a LOT of food, what lead me into binge eating a little less than a month ago.
Now, I am 55 and I feel miserable, because I've been stuffing myself of food and i can't stop myself until I'm uncomfortably full and vomit. After that happens, the guilt and the hatred I feel towards myself leads me to this "attacks" where I hyperventilate and cry horribly, I'm not able to move and I faint every 3-4 mins while I'm on the floor completely terrified and I feel like dying. My hair has been falling out and I even relapsed on self harming because of my current body. I really need to lose 10kg in 2 months and I don't know what to do :(
Any advice? I'm not planning on recovering, i am looking for any tips and i don't care if they're unhealthy, the idea of getting bigger scares me to death and I will do anything to be thin at this point