Yaoi Being Life Ruining

Hello everyone!
I really would like to know what y’all think of the new yaoi mangas/manhwas that are coming out (even if I noticed the same problems in shoujos as well)…am I the only one disappointed? I started reading yaoi when I was a teenager…at first I didn’t mind the cliches and red flags, but now that I’m an adult I grew a bit tired of always seeing the same things. It’s even a bit sad that I don’t see that many changes since then and I strongly believe that this new generation deserves better!
I wouldn’t even mind if some stories deal with toxic relationships and things like rape or cheating if it was only done if the story requires them…the problem is that they are present in most yaoi mangas (even the sweetest ones) and these kinds of arguments are always romanticised.

I understand that yaoi is basically porn for straight women (same as shoujo), but is it really what we want? Everyone knows that even if it deals with men…the uke is the woman (sometimes he really is drawn as a woman with a very small dick) and the seme is the dominant man (with a freaking horse dick…who the hell enjoys being impaled to death by that thing?).

Even the double standards drives me crazy nowadays! For example: when the seme is portrayed as a playboy everyone loves him and that’s a good thing because he is experienced, if it’s the uke that is playboy…well he is a slut and has to be treated as one.
Another example: when the seme has a bad personality, poor guy he has trauma and we have to justify everything that he does…if it’s the uke that has a bad personality, he deserved to be treated as s**t and be raped or tortured so the seme can fix him (and he always enjoys having his anus ripped since they never prepare for sex).
I mean there are so many cliches to tell, but I’ll stop here…am I the only one that expected something more from these stories? Or am I the fool for not liking this stuff anymore?