Real Life Problems

Okay so, im really confused on what I want tbh.. I want to know if anyone else is having the same experience and can share some advice.

So basically, I am really confused on whether I want a romantic relationship or just something similar to the sort?

I dont want a sexual relationship, I hate kissing and the thought of having sex makes me afraid and disgusted. I want someone who I can rely on and in return they can rely on me. I want someone to hold close and to share my thoughts and feelings with. Someone who I can share words of affection with.

However, I haven't come even close to developing feelings for somebody and im afraid I never will. I am young (not disclosing my age for safety reasons ofc.) and im sick of people telling me I will eventually. Because if I’ve gone this long without even feeling attracted to some besides the normal ‘Oh, they’re pretty.’ What will even change in the future? Will i all of a sudden unlock romantic attraction after a certain age? Am i just not normal? I feel so frustrated and confused. I cant even tell my friends this because I feel they wont understand because they like other people have had feelings for other people and have dated before. I dont want to have to lie to someone to get these wants met, I want to feel loved and I want to love somebody.
:(