Can't Be Too Emotional

I honestly feel like I'm forced to be happy all the time because if I cry or show emotions around my dad it's a big deal and I'm using it as a way to "get out of something". Like the other day I was crying because he kept calling me names and he said I was using it as an excuse to get out of being in trouble even though I wasn't in trouble. And so ......   reply
08 04,2021
I feel annoyed at myself whenever I show my weaknesses to anyone; I hate feeling vulnerable because I felt that more when I was younger i guess; whenever i feel sad and stuff I use my coping mechanisms..?? Healthy ones though- here’s my list:these might not work for you but hopefully they’ll give you some ideas. You got this bestie   reply
08 04,2021
trying not to trouble your family and pretend to be strong ...yeah i know that feeling but at least cry when you are alone like in the night while everyone asleep or else it will put too much pressure on you and make you burst out of nowhere ( i hope i didn't misunderstand you lol kinda confused bc eng isnt my native lang)   reply
08 04,2021
Yeah, that is a really tough situation. I just want to tell you this- you have just as much of a right to cry, to feel sadness and anger. From what I've read, you've been working hard to support your sister and respect your family, but you ALSO deserve a special place to let loose and cry sometimes. That is your right. I feel like you have cared gr......   reply
08 04,2021
sending virtual hugs (:   reply
08 04,2021
No. I just get embarrassed by existing lmao, so I try to not show everything and I think many others are the same. Also like not crying and being stubborn and all that...Isn't that just having thick skin? I am like that too and cry alone. I mean maybe stay with ur therapist some more if you think this will help you feel better and happier.   reply
08 04,2021
Holy shit [Experience]
Forg 27 02,2021
Thats alot of picrews   reply
27 02,2021
Since I was young, I was always the "tough" sister so I never showed myself feeling sad(anger and excitement and so on was ok to show). I don't cry often infront of my family though I'm kind of a crybaby(my boyfriend has seen me cry a fair bit since he didn't have that set impression of me so I guess I didn't try to keep a front).
My sister suffers from depression and although my family is supportive, they're fairly judgmental and have a hard time understanding depression and mental health in general. I'm my sister's main support when it comes to her depression, so I do have to be strong even now. I'm not necessarily always in the best state of mind, and there's times I feel anxious and feel like crying, but I don't feel comfortable showing that side of myself with anyone. My siblings always talk about how I never cry or that I don't let things get to me that easily, so that's how I end up feeling like I have to act. I'm a fairly stubborn person so I don't let others manipulate me that easily, but I am also stubborn when it comes to showing a weakness.
I know some of you might tell me to get help or to still talk to my family, but my family cannot handle another person having some sort of issue like that for sure, so I do not plan on talking to them about it. I did talk to a counselor as advised by my sister since I did mention some stuff vaguely to her, but I didn't feel better at all. Just uncomfortable talking to a stranger (specially since I didn't always feel like there was something to be talked about). I stopped seeing the counselor after 3 meetings. I just wanted to know if any of you also felt this way?
BTW I'm the youngest sibling(saying that cuz I know some older siblings can be often put in a position where they have to act almost as a parent and idk if I might've given that impression)
03 04,2020

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