Shirayuki
: I feel bad that people are shitting on Jiho a lot for doing something that is, in my opinion, an incredibly realistic depiction of what it’s like to have two traumatized individuals in a relationship. Inwoo is certainly in a very bad place mentally right now, but people seem to forget that Jiho is also still in the process of healing. He isn’t magically cured either. People inevitably try to draw from their own experiences when helping others. He had good intentions when he tried to get Inwoo to talk to his mother. Jiho just recently reconciled with his parents and he felt that maybe, it would also help Inwoo with his troubles. Of course, this was the wrong decision to make without Inwoo’s consent, and Jiho 100% was in the wrong. It was a terrible mistake—we all know that. But don’t make it sound like Jiho was stupid, self-centered, or dumb for not knowing exactly what Inwoo needs. He wasn’t. He was fumbling, searching for a way to save his lover from depression and despair.
Let me put it this way: would any of you say that it is healthy for Inwoo to ONLY have Jiho in his life? I’m sure everyone already knows this but Inwoo is so afraid of being unloved that he thinks he needs only Jiho, but Jiho sees that as a flaw—which he is in fact CORRECT to believe so. Inwoo cannot go on living in his world with just Jiho. However, Inwoo thinks this means that Jiho doesn’t love him enough. It is very natural for a depressive, lonely person to get incredibly defensive when someone calls out their self-destructive behavior as something wrong or abnormal. Jiho stepped on this landmine, but it’s honestly a miracle he didn’t before now because it was a long time coming.
You have to understand that living with a depressive and traumatized individual is very exhausting and tiring. It was the reason why Inwoo’s first marriage went poorly; he knows it too, which is why he’s afraid of things going wrong again. But Jiho is trying his damn best to understand and help. He fucked up, yes, but who wouldn’t when dealing with someone so unstable? I think people belittle Jiho’s efforts because he went about it the wrong way, but can you really fault him for not immediately knowing what’s the best way to go about this? He isn’t a psychiatrist or a nurse. He’s a lover seeing his boyfriend spiraling. Of course he’s anxious too.
This is what a relationship with someone traumatized looks like in real life. You will feel so tired, worried, and concerned that you can’t help but want to help them somehow. Mistakes happen, communication occurs, and that’s how they will slowly heal and move on together. I really wanna praise the author for giving a very realistic approach to two traumatized souls trying to save each other. I hope people give Jiho more slack for his mistakes. He’s trying and learning. They’ll get there. Time and communication is what they need.
Feeds
Let me put it this way: would any of you say that it is healthy for Inwoo to ONLY have Jiho in his life? I’m sure everyone already knows this but Inwoo is so afraid of being unloved that he thinks he needs only Jiho, but Jiho sees that as a flaw—which he is in fact CORRECT to believe so. Inwoo cannot go on living in his world with just Jiho. However, Inwoo thinks this means that Jiho doesn’t love him enough. It is very natural for a depressive, lonely person to get incredibly defensive when someone calls out their self-destructive behavior as something wrong or abnormal. Jiho stepped on this landmine, but it’s honestly a miracle he didn’t before now because it was a long time coming.
You have to understand that living with a depressive and traumatized individual is very exhausting and tiring. It was the reason why Inwoo’s first marriage went poorly; he knows it too, which is why he’s afraid of things going wrong again. But Jiho is trying his damn best to understand and help. He fucked up, yes, but who wouldn’t when dealing with someone so unstable? I think people belittle Jiho’s efforts because he went about it the wrong way, but can you really fault him for not immediately knowing what’s the best way to go about this? He isn’t a psychiatrist or a nurse. He’s a lover seeing his boyfriend spiraling. Of course he’s anxious too.
This is what a relationship with someone traumatized looks like in real life. You will feel so tired, worried, and concerned that you can’t help but want to help them somehow. Mistakes happen, communication occurs, and that’s how they will slowly heal and move on together. I really wanna praise the author for giving a very realistic approach to two traumatized souls trying to save each other. I hope people give Jiho more slack for his mistakes. He’s trying and learning. They’ll get there. Time and communication is what they need.