oiled up twerker
: I think it would’ve been better w more chapters/slower development cs it feels rushed honestly. It’s cute fosure tho!
Frosche79
: By this point, I'm tired of this story. It had a good idea and plot but the author failed to deliver it.
There were a lot of things that happened in a single day I couldn't understand how it only took a day for them to rescue the dragon and make her open up, like, she went through a LOT in that place and it only took her a night to be okay??? So unrealistic (not that this story is realistic in the first place but you get what I mean).
Also, what is up with the author sexualizing our MC?! He's a far cry from his past self that I barely recognized him anymore. They're making him out to be a feminine type of male MC when he was all muscles and very manly back then. It's suspicious that they only do it when he's with older guys. OLDER GUYS.
There's something going on here and my intuition as a reader of my years of experience is telling me there's something wrong here and I'm usually always right.
Also, they're focusing on the wrong things here. When they should be more focused on progressing the story, the MC plays a lot with the guys, acting like a freaking conspiracy theorist and trying to figure out the plans of their enemy's when the ANSWER IS RIGHT IN THEIR FACE! There's no need to go through more than 3 chapters in a single scene, JUST END IT WITH A DRAMATIC AND QUICK CONCLUSION WHERE THEY FIGURED EVERYTHING OUT AND THEN CHANGE THE SCENE!
I, for one, do this thing, as I used to write stories, where the MCs go on making conspiracy theories that makes the chapters longer and show the readers how smart their characters are, and it's a rookie mistake to do. It's boring and kind of dumb. It's not just the MC here, they even did it to the guild manager and it's frustrating to see because none of the things he thought of even made any sense!
The MC, Jack, is from the future, he knows the events that'll happen and he's also not stupid and slow that he won't figure something out with someone helping him.
My advice is, to not show the readers the character's train of thoughts and draw a scene where they were just thinking in silence, and then BAM! They find the answer! No need to show us the excruciatingly long train of thought that none of us would even understand or even bother to read.
This just did it for me, I'm done and I can't believe I endured over 90 chapters reading this piece of noob trash even with the sloppy 3D dragons.
Not worth the read and stress, skip this story and find a better one. Or have fun with this junk. Buh bye.
Feeds
There were a lot of things that happened in a single day I couldn't understand how it only took a day for them to rescue the dragon and make her open up, like, she went through a LOT in that place and it only took her a night to be okay??? So unrealistic (not that this story is realistic in the first place but you get what I mean).
Also, what is up with the author sexualizing our MC?! He's a far cry from his past self that I barely recognized him anymore. They're making him out to be a feminine type of male MC when he was all muscles and very manly back then. It's suspicious that they only do it when he's with older guys. OLDER GUYS.
There's something going on here and my intuition as a reader of my years of experience is telling me there's something wrong here and I'm usually always right.
Also, they're focusing on the wrong things here. When they should be more focused on progressing the story, the MC plays a lot with the guys, acting like a freaking conspiracy theorist and trying to figure out the plans of their enemy's when the ANSWER IS RIGHT IN THEIR FACE! There's no need to go through more than 3 chapters in a single scene, JUST END IT WITH A DRAMATIC AND QUICK CONCLUSION WHERE THEY FIGURED EVERYTHING OUT AND THEN CHANGE THE SCENE!
I, for one, do this thing, as I used to write stories, where the MCs go on making conspiracy theories that makes the chapters longer and show the readers how smart their characters are, and it's a rookie mistake to do. It's boring and kind of dumb. It's not just the MC here, they even did it to the guild manager and it's frustrating to see because none of the things he thought of even made any sense!
The MC, Jack, is from the future, he knows the events that'll happen and he's also not stupid and slow that he won't figure something out with someone helping him.
My advice is, to not show the readers the character's train of thoughts and draw a scene where they were just thinking in silence, and then BAM! They find the answer! No need to show us the excruciatingly long train of thought that none of us would even understand or even bother to read.
This just did it for me, I'm done and I can't believe I endured over 90 chapters reading this piece of noob trash even with the sloppy 3D dragons.
Not worth the read and stress, skip this story and find a better one. Or have fun with this junk. Buh bye.