otakulys's manga / #past trauma(21)

I'm really intrigued so far. It has that dark grit that I love in BL, and crime families, etc. are my guilty pleasure. It isn't perfect, and I could see it getting annoying in a way, but I have high hopes, so five stars for now.

You know, I really debated on my feelings for this one. The art is gorgeous, and I like the mind games and kinks, etc. I wasn't crazy about the rapey elements, even though they were very mild for yaoi. It was easier to forgive because the characters are supposed to be a little messed up, and it wasn't forceful like you usually see. It was all a little too convenient, but that's often how yaoi goes, and ultimately, the couple is supposed to be twisted, so the rough sex between them and the unhealthy obsession fits just fine. My problem is more with the many yaoi manga out there that contain similar themes but act like it's healthy and lovely. So that in mind, I really enjoyed the story. I can forgive the things that put me off, because I like the way that they fucked with each other, and I appreciated that there was a lot less beating around the bush. Plus, it's sooooo pretty. This art is amazing. I hope she draws a million more manga. I want to read it all. Oh, and piercings! I love the delinquent look, which I believe is what made me start reading this from the beginning. So sexy, ugh.

Ooh, this looks like something I'd really like. Which means it'll probably let me down completely. But for now! I like that they have this history between them. I hope it's a solid story and not just a bunch of pathetic misunderstandings and/or rape-forgiveness. I'm intrigued, either way.

I haven't read all of the extras yet, but most of them. There are some things I would have changed in this story, but I liked it overall. I'm big on betrayal followed by a new, healing love, so this was great for that. I'll come back to this after I read everything else.

So heartbreaking, and the fact that it hasn't been picked up again yet makes it worse, since it's left hanging. I wish I could read and understand the raws! The only thing is, the rape bullshit pisses me off, though it's nothing new. Plus I hate that the seme is openly gay and also predatory, like being out means he's automatically a rapist. So gross. But I care a lot about the healing process for the main character, which is why I want more. So rarely does yaoi actually dive into the pain and struggles of someone growing up in a very rigid and homophobic environment. I mean, I love stories where homophobia doesn't exist and a lot of people seem to be into the same sex, but it's nice to see real issues examined, for the catharsis if nothing else. Hopefully we get chapter two in the near future.

Okay, what was with that final shot, though? Was there supposed to be more, or is there something I'm missing? Blah, I don't like that, but otherwise it's a great story. Very emotional and sad. I cried my eyes out and got a headache. But it's a beautiful story and I wish there were more. I love stuff like this. Tora is such a lovely seme. Their whole world is complicated but fascinating, and I'm so glad I finally finished this.

I really like it so far. I love the angst over being outed in high school trope honestly, and I love second love even more. I hope we get to see more of the past soon. It's painful to see, but it's hurt/comfort, which I adore. This new guy will kiss your bruises and make them all better! EDIT: UGH. It's coming out really fast, but it's only eleven chapters, and I need more. I want it all! I'd probably read it in one sitting if it were all out, though, so maybe this is for the best. Still, I can't wait to see more of the past stuff unfold. Plus, omgz, real communication??? How rare!

The art is GORGEOUS. And it took her years to finish, so it only gets better as it goes. By the end of the main story, it blew me away. This is such a sad and beautiful story. I absolutely loved it. It's so rare for people to explore the psychological aspects of sexual assault and the way that people can internalize these things. The connection he made to his past mistake was a way for him to cope with what happened to him, but it only hurt him further. This is actually much more common in sexual abuse survivors than people probably realize. The love between them is so tender and so genuine. I love them so much and could read all about them forever. I can't wait for this mangaka to release more stuff. It really clicks with my crying fetish, too. I kinda feel like the mangaka has a crying fetish herself, because there's crying in almost every chapter, lol.

Dude, I hate Jun SO MUCH. He's such a selfish piece of shit. He didn't even think of Kangjin that entire time, like he totally forgot about him and didn't regret how cruel he was. He never apologized or anything. I hate this because you know they're gonna legit fall back in love and get together, but I want Jun to actually fall in love and then have his heart destroyed. He's awful. The story focuses so much on him and his hardships, but why the hell are we expected to care? He did something horrible and never even felt bad about it. Even after seeing what he did to him, Jun is just like, oh no, he's seeing me at a low point! Screw you, Jun. It's so unsatisfying right now at chapter 16, but if Jun really gets what's coming to him, I'll raise my score for the manga. EDIT: I still hate Jun. I don't care if he finally apologized in chapter 22. It was such a weird, lame, flat apology after what he did. It's like he didn't even give a crap that whole time. But according to the comments, I'm the only person who feels this way, so I guess I'll just have to vent by myself. Break his stupid heart, Kangjin! EDIT: So he didn't end up with either guy, which was an interesting choice, but wtf was with that ending? "Yay, I'm getting discharged!" THE END. We don't get any other hints as to how his life is going? It felt like an afterthought, like okay, Jun has accepted he doesn't love him anymore, Chisoo has accepted they can never be together, so he's not important anymore. I think really the author just got tired of drawing it or something, because the ending seems tacked on. Maybe originally he was supposed to die. I'd almost prefer that because this feels kind of cheap. But okay. Whatever. At least Jun never got what he wanted. I'm also glad Chisoo never lost it and went after them, which is what I thought might happen. I'm glad I skipped a good portion of this, though. It doesn't feel like anything ever truly resolved.

A little rushed, but not the worst thing I've read. It'd be nice if it played out longer, especially since it tackles themes of consent and free will. You don't get that as often in omegaverse or things like it. It's all about healing, though, so I can appreciate it in a shallow sort of way. I hope we get to see much more of what happened with that other dom/switch. I love a tragic backstory.