kei_k's manga / #Friendship(234)

Ahhh my heart broke for Hidetoshi a lot of times... I often questioned how people who claim they're in love with someone they're not in a relationship with (due to various reasons) are able to be intimate with others without completely getting over that someone.. I kind of understand how it is, with Hidetoshi's case. He's been in love with Kengo, and wanted to confess on his graduation day, but because Kengo unintentionally crushed his chance by saying that him being gay wouldn't change anything since they'll always be friends anyway, he had no other choice but to go along with it. Because he knew how Kengo wanted to treasure their friendship, he didn't push his feelings and instead redirected his attention to others, to keep the friendship from falling apart. He got into relationships with men who were Kengo's opposites, and the longest he's been was with an abusive guy... Well, as Hidetoshi said, it's not like his relationship with that guy was only filled with bad memories. He also fell for that guy in the beginning because he was really kind and almost an ideal lover. However, upon finding out that Hidetoshi hasn't completely gotten over Kengo yet, so he can't even devote himself fully to him, the guy started drinking and hurting him out of spite and jealousy.. Hidetoshi took it all because he felt guilty about having those feelings while dating him, so he believes it's his fault he turned out that way anyway. Besides, since they were getting old, they had limited partner choices and since they shared a lot in common, they licked each other's wounds. It's like, they've become dependent on each other. With this, I just felt like, perhaps, it really is possible to love more than one person at the same time -- they will never be equal though, because no love is ever alike. In his case, his love for Kengo was something he desperately wanted to bury deep within him, because he also felt that by doing so, he'd be able to at least protect Kengo. That Kengo! He was really nice, though I wish he'd come to terms with his feelings sooner. He was a coward for not doing anything despite feeling the need to. Well, it can't be helped since he never expected himself to feel that way towards another man... But I wish that the moment he felt unhappy being distanced with Hide when he got a girlfriend, he should've dealt with it immediately instead of just going with the flow. Yeah, that was his problem, he just went with the flow. I'm just glad that he finally took action and saved his uke big time.

Ch 18 //

Everything was great except for the ending.. If Ryo only asked her to be his manager after 10 yrs, then Narazaki should've been given the chance to be her lover instead since he 's been declaring his love for her all those years..

9

Deep Love Series # 3

Currently @ V5 (Ch 41-49) p 25

Azuma... So cool.