kei_k's manga / #Family(122)

Deep Love Series # 3

Currently @ V5 (Ch 41-49) p 25

Interesting, but wish there was more.. I just felt empty after reading.

Before reading, I was put off when I saw comments on how the seme agrees to date the uke's older sister when things don't work out. To me, it's like he'll be fine being in another relationship right away since he has a "reserve lover." I was also hesitant because it seems like a lot of people are mad at the uke for being too tsundere. But anyway, I decided to check it out myself, and I understood the comments better. While reading, I realized that the seme could actually be the type I like, being persistent and crazily in love. I liked how he dealt with Ishikawa's tendency to push him away by doing something that will make Ishikawa come to him on his own. However, I was kinda turned off when Yamaguchi nonchalantly agreed to date the Hitomi (uke's sister) when things don't work out for them. He even told Ishikawa that he thought it wouldn't be so bad being with her because they resembled each other and she's very easy to talk to. In this case, before Ishikawa can actually react too negatively, he said that the incident only made him (Yamaguchi) reconfirm his love for Ishikawa, because even if they're similar, he prefers him over her. I guess that's alright, after all, with Ishikawa's actions towards Yamaguchi, one would really feel insecure. I'd have to say Yamaguchi is pretty patient/persistent enough to stick with him until he got used to Ishikawa's antics. I just really got pissed with the idea of him having a "reserve lover." As for Ishikawa, yeah, he's definitely tsundere, but a bit over the top at times. I get that he's embarrassed and shy because he can't keep up with Yamaguchi's lovey dovey attitude, but he pushed him away too much only to be the one more affected. Like, when he kept claiming they're only sex friends and they should both see other people. Even though Yamaguchi only did what Ishikawa demanded, he was still badly affected. Oh, and I felt sorry for Yamaguchi when he was being insecure because Ishikawa never told him he liked him (even if they had sex, since Ishikawa kept saying they're just sex friends before, he' still unsure if he can interpret it as his expression of love). Then he intentionally hangs out and be happy with girls while making Yamaguchi jealous. I mean, Yamaguchi's already insecure as it is, then he'd even be treated like that? Aww, sucks to be him. I know Ishikawa can't trust him because of his womanizer past (I'm not fond of playboys myself.), but why can't he see that ever since they've been together, he's been very loyal and devoted to him (This is what really matters after all.)? Anyway, despite the rollercoaster ride, towards the end, I was happy since Yamaguchi basically got used to Ishikawa's tsundere act and he felt more secured. It would've been better if Ishikawa became a bit more honest with words though, since sometimes, actions can be more reassuring with sincere words. TLDR; They're both at fault, so I can't just blame the seme or the uke for being the way they were. I just hope that the seme proves his faithfulness until the end, because if it were me, I won't be able to forget his remark about dating my sister (I'd definitely be paranoid thinking they'd get it on once I make a mistake.). I also hope that the uke stop being too violent and stop being too spoiled, because the seme won't always know what he's truly thinking if he won't say what's on his mind. About the rating: Well, I didn't feel why the seme liked the uke in the first place aside from them having sex, sooo...

Favorite parts: Those w/ Kazushi and the twins. http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/saa_koi_ni_ochitamae/mf/v03/c007.3/29/ http://www.mangago.me/read-manga/saa_koi_ni_ochitamae/mf/v03/c008/12/ Favorite visuals: Yuuki Hiroya (Megane moeeee. He's super sexy.) I liked Yuuki's devotion and faithfulness for Noboru, but I was a bit displeased when he forcibly did a hand job on Noboru when he was insecure. The good part is that he was at least remorseful and treated Noboru better. But, well... He's really pushy and perverted. I just wish he'd take Noboru's "NO" more seriously.. Well, I appreciated it when Noboru told him his ass hurts (bec Yuuki was too horny) and he held himself back.

I'm very conflicted about how I feel about this manga because it feels too deep, yet some of the characters reasoning seem illogical to me. I really liked how Youji matured from his bratty self. In the early chapters, I disliked how he was hating on Hirose's complicated feelings, and he ended up being in the same predicament. Since he had this sense of responsibility to rescue Ren, he felt that he needed to do something for him and started acting strange after Hirose let him in on what he's getting himself into. So when he kissed Ren at night while they drank, then kissed Hiromi (his gf) the next day, I was pissed off. When he told Ren he liked him (despite still being confused with his feelings), I thought he'd break it off with his gf right away. I mean, at this point, Ren or the others would advise not to, since Youji's not even sure of his feelings yet. However, it's unfair for Hiromi to have him continue date her while he thought of another person. He was very insensitive about the ring, too. Well, anyway, it's good that he at least had the decency to break up not long after. I was glad that Ren didn't accept him immediately, too. As the manga goes further, we see that Youji learns more about homosexual relationships and he's slowly healing Ren while being mature and keeping his composure; reminding himself that liking Ren is enough, at least for now. Ren really acted like an adult. When he went over to Hirose's house and said that he still loved him, I was disappointed, but I kind of understood. He's never really gotten over him, so it's just that he started to acknowledge his feelings. It was brave of him to stop running away and refuse Hirose despite his lingering affections. What I didn't like was how he reasoned out that he's doing Youji a favor by not crossing the line, and instead goes around sleeping with others. Sure, he's still unsure about his feelings for Youji and he felt pressured that he can't reciprocate the same feelings he expected. However, I simply do not understand how sleeping around, and coming home to Youji, who could possibly smell him and know what he's doing, would help his situation. He's trying to run away from Youji to prevent him from being hurt, but what he's actually doing only hurt Youji more. Ugh. I dunno. Even in the last "rape" scene where he claimed he wasn't abused and he felt pleasure from the body, I just couldn't understand. I thought he'd given up his feelings for Hirose when he started touching Youji... But I guess his feelings just don't vanish that easily. And as he said, his body truly remembered the pleasure they shared all those times they were together. This made me worried though. It's as if he'd give in to Hirose anytime since it's only physical pleasure anyway. In short, it's as if Ren didn't give much importance to the physical aspect of the relationship. I wish he cherished it more. Especially when he finally accepted Youji... How can he simply enjoy it because he pitied Hirose? Why didn't he try to resist simply because he pitied Hirose? How could he even be sure that he'd be released even after doing all that? In a way, he did betray Youji that time. Ahhh, but he was actually honest to Youji about this, but since Youji's the one chasing him, he could only accept it.. In the end, I guess I wished that Ren expressed more of his love for Youji because he seemed too passive. I get that he was hurt and it took him long to get over it, but I thought that when he knew about Youji's trouble, he'd be more active and all. I think he's been too spoiled by Youji... Ugh. Really, I just can't get over the fact that he still willingly went with Hirose's desperation. Well, he said he no longer hold lingering affections now. I just hope that it's true, and that he'd never sleep around again or allow others to kiss him easily. He's too nonchalant about this. He should think about how his partner would feel more. After all, Youji's one of a kind for him, so he shouldn't let him go by being st*pid like that.

Some chapters were quite boring, or maybe forced? I dunno, they lacked feelings or something. But I get the feel of the manga. I love how their relationship developed. I fell in love with Chinatsu-san as well. :)

This is my favorite DJ of Totally Captivated. I love how it sparks a debate about Ewon's decision. Personally, I approve of his decision. It may be cruel to the sister in hindsight, but Mookyul knew how Ewon was not capable of giving himself completely to anyone else. If anything, I'd say he willingly became the bad person for Ewon. A lot of people comment how Mookyul was being selfish, wanting Ewon only for himself, but I guess they've forgotten how Ewon was guilty of the same in the orig. manhwa. He realized that he wanted Mookyul for himself only, so he wanted him to abandon the Pres, even though it was too hard for Mookyul because he'd greatly indebted to him. If anything, he could say that he won't even be able to stand in front of Ewon now if the Pres didn't raise him. While it's true that him being picked up and raised had ulterior motives, to the point where he's obligated to have sexual relations to that person he considers a parent, it's also true that he could've been in worse situations if it weren't for Pres. Anyway, if we look at the bigger picture, we can say that Mookyul sacrificed a lot more than Ewon. When he cut ties with Pres, he also had to abandon the family (his subordinates) he's been with for 8 years. Those men were in real trouble when they're abandoned and left in the hands of the evil Kim Namhyung. Well, it's still quite fortunate that the worst thing that happened was Sungtae lost one of his eyes. It could've been worse. Meaning, Mookyul had to forsake them in order to be with Ewon again. What about Ewon? He was also forced to forsake his family. The difference is that, they're actually blood-related. But does that mean they're more important? A family is tied by love not just by blood. He was with his sister for barely a month, so why do people expect him to abandon Mookyul after all those things they've gone through? It's not like he abandoned his sister and mother completely. He's given up all his savings for them. That money wasn't just money; it was money he worked so hard to save by himself after being abandoned. We can say that Ewon is basically doing what his mother did to him --- choosing a lover over family. The difference is that Ewon's mother left him locked in the middle of the forest with nothing to keep himself alive. He was left there to die. If she were any better, she could've at least left him in an orphanage where other people can fend and take care of him. But no. She abandoned him completely. Now, Ewon did abandon his sister, even knowing that the mother had suicidal tendencies. But that's exactly why he also hired an adult maid to help her go through the hardships she's to face. Unlike Ewon, she's given more support. She has more than he ever did. Now, a lot of people complain about Ewon's decision of cutting ties with her, not even allowing her to contact or visit him. They say Ewon's too selfish to just live with Mookyul and not care about her anymore. Hey, people. You're forgetting who we're dealing with. It hasn't been that long since Ewon allowed himself to love and be loved. He just couldn't handle this complication and Mookyul knew this. If he allowed the sister to get in touch with him, his resolve to leave them will be shaken and he'd hurt all of them, including Mookyul. He felt that since he couldn't reassure him with his love, the only way to prove his choice is to stay with Mookyul. If his resolve is shaken, he'd want to be with his sister more and more, and he'd eventually have to deal with his mother again. Now, not dealing with his mother's issues may seem like he's running away from the problem, but facing it doesn't always mean it's right. He went through so much. He may eventually need to face his mother again in the future, but not now. What he needs now is to constantly be with Mookyul and feel whole, after all those years of being empty. You just can't force someone to suddenly be a family.

ch4

Ch5 Don't feel loved but cute anyway