kei_k's manga / #College(64)

18

Ch12... Ughhh it's heartbreaking... I just hope Naoto doesn't sleep with Kei while Taichi's like this.. // update: 10.26.16 Initially, I guess I was just rooting for Taichi to settle his issues, because they're mutually in love and natually, I wanted them together. However, I guess I haven't really considered Naoto's feelings before. I see it now (thanks to Colleen Hoover's It Ends with Us novel) how Naoto endured so much for Taichi and for the sake of saving their relationship. When he decided to give dating another try despite knowing they didn't do well in it in the past, he sincerely wanted to give it his all. He was insecure with being in the same sex relationship, meaning he'd have to give up hopes of providing Taichi a proper family in terms of marriage and children. He was hurting more, because he's the one who "receives." If Taichi were to choose a woman later, it'd be more painful because he'd feel less worthy because of their difference. I was especially disappointed, when they were talking about Taichi asking for time to think things carefully again, ALONE, because apparently, he didn't consider things even when he already proposed moving in together and being okay with anything as long as Nao's with him. Just imagine how much that hurts Naoto. But he was brave enough to ask him to talk about things together, since it's their relationship on the line. I can kind of understand why Taichi thought he should think about it alone first because perhaps he started questioning his own conviction. But honestly, I'm more on Nao's side. I liked how he really made an effort to make time for Taichi and wait for him so they could talk about it more thoroughly, but all Taichi's done was avoid him. Running away delays the inevitable, and a lot of times, make it worse. Now that Nisshi's taken action and confronted Taichi, he suddenly realized how he wasn't thinking about Naoto at all when he waivered? I'm pretty much upset with Taichi because of his past behavior, which Naoto accepted despite being hurt. They're not exactly broken up, but more of in a cool off relationship. Even if it's like that, though, I'd still not want Naoto to be kissed by another guy. He's in a very confused and unstable position at the moment, so I don't really want to ruin them more with this. If he were to at least consider someone else, it should be when he properly settled things with Taichi. I don't want to taint him as a cheater (though he doesn't have any intention). I wish Nisshi won't kiss Naoto at that moment though, because even if Nao didn't cheat, he'd surely feel guilty and it'd bother him from time to time. Nisshi may even be hated. So I say, Nisshi should really just stay put. Just show support and not expect anything yet. I don't exactly hate Nisshi, because he couldn't help that he fell for Nao, but I don't want him to be a bad guy just so Nao and Taichi could be happy. I want him to be happy too, especially after being betrayed by a past lover like that.

Adorable. but not much doki doki feels because the fetish was too highlighted that it seemed like they were together because of it instead of mainly because of their feelings.

Would've love it more if they switched roles even once.. I really fell for Daiki here, huh. He's very passionate when it comes to Mitsui, and he's not afraid to express his feelings for him even in public...

Reminded me of my favorite Junjou pair, Junjou Egoist (Nowaki x Hiro)... Wanted more.. I'm a bit biased towards kind/gentle/devoted seme, so this is pretty high in my book. :p

Before reading, I was put off when I saw comments on how the seme agrees to date the uke's older sister when things don't work out. To me, it's like he'll be fine being in another relationship right away since he has a "reserve lover." I was also hesitant because it seems like a lot of people are mad at the uke for being too tsundere. But anyway, I decided to check it out myself, and I understood the comments better. While reading, I realized that the seme could actually be the type I like, being persistent and crazily in love. I liked how he dealt with Ishikawa's tendency to push him away by doing something that will make Ishikawa come to him on his own. However, I was kinda turned off when Yamaguchi nonchalantly agreed to date the Hitomi (uke's sister) when things don't work out for them. He even told Ishikawa that he thought it wouldn't be so bad being with her because they resembled each other and she's very easy to talk to. In this case, before Ishikawa can actually react too negatively, he said that the incident only made him (Yamaguchi) reconfirm his love for Ishikawa, because even if they're similar, he prefers him over her. I guess that's alright, after all, with Ishikawa's actions towards Yamaguchi, one would really feel insecure. I'd have to say Yamaguchi is pretty patient/persistent enough to stick with him until he got used to Ishikawa's antics. I just really got pissed with the idea of him having a "reserve lover." As for Ishikawa, yeah, he's definitely tsundere, but a bit over the top at times. I get that he's embarrassed and shy because he can't keep up with Yamaguchi's lovey dovey attitude, but he pushed him away too much only to be the one more affected. Like, when he kept claiming they're only sex friends and they should both see other people. Even though Yamaguchi only did what Ishikawa demanded, he was still badly affected. Oh, and I felt sorry for Yamaguchi when he was being insecure because Ishikawa never told him he liked him (even if they had sex, since Ishikawa kept saying they're just sex friends before, he' still unsure if he can interpret it as his expression of love). Then he intentionally hangs out and be happy with girls while making Yamaguchi jealous. I mean, Yamaguchi's already insecure as it is, then he'd even be treated like that? Aww, sucks to be him. I know Ishikawa can't trust him because of his womanizer past (I'm not fond of playboys myself.), but why can't he see that ever since they've been together, he's been very loyal and devoted to him (This is what really matters after all.)? Anyway, despite the rollercoaster ride, towards the end, I was happy since Yamaguchi basically got used to Ishikawa's tsundere act and he felt more secured. It would've been better if Ishikawa became a bit more honest with words though, since sometimes, actions can be more reassuring with sincere words. TLDR; They're both at fault, so I can't just blame the seme or the uke for being the way they were. I just hope that the seme proves his faithfulness until the end, because if it were me, I won't be able to forget his remark about dating my sister (I'd definitely be paranoid thinking they'd get it on once I make a mistake.). I also hope that the uke stop being too violent and stop being too spoiled, because the seme won't always know what he's truly thinking if he won't say what's on his mind. About the rating: Well, I didn't feel why the seme liked the uke in the first place aside from them having sex, sooo...

"Am I also serious? In the past, I would have these cheap misunderstandings with someone who appears to be my type. But from the beginning, this has been interesting. It felt like a game. However, this time, when tears pour out for my sake, I can't help but think Ryuuji is cuter. It's not a lie. Right now, I really love Ryuuji. I've fallen in love. However, the end came too quickly. Somehow, I predicted this. <...Say something.> *slap* What could have been said at this time? Ryuuji didn't want it, there was no other way. That day, inside me, will always be the 'memory' of Ryuuji. "However, I couldn't do it. I remember all of Ryuuji and compare it. No matter how many years pass, I look back to the same thing. Ryuuji's smile, the shape of his fingertips, the way his eyelashes cast shadows on his cheeks, and the warmth of his body when I held him... Why those times I couldn't let go of them with my hands. It's already been five years. Has he changed? Once again, we start from the beginning. Should I smile? Ryuuji, this time, there won't be any mistakes. There are my own feelings..." Why I disliked the seme: - He went out with the uke with half-hearted feelings. - He cheated on the uke with women, and didn't think it was that big of a deal back then because he wasn't serious about the uke. (He only realized that he must've fallen for the uke when he finally snapped and soon decided to leave him.) - He lied about Ryuu the cat being their exclusive secret. (C'mon, I bet the uke felt a bit happy that they shared a secret between them only to find out the next day that their female co-worker actually takes care of it, too. She's even allowed to come and go his apartment with the cat as an excuse.) - Above all, he only apologized for his past behavior when he saw the key and realized that the uke still cherished him after all these years. "It was bad to make you feel that way. I'm sorry." That's it! He was very passive in their relationship. Pain? Heartbreak? Agony? He must've felt miserable after that time, taking in a pitiful cat in the middle of the rain to sub for the guy who left him when it was also raining. But did he even do anything at all to redeem himself? No. Even when they reunited, he acted nonchalantly, and when he felt that he still affected the uke in some ways, he used it as a chance to get him back. I wish we were at least given more glimpses during the 5-year separation to see how the seme changed. Did he date others after they broke up, but somehow those didn't work and he became single just in time when the uke came back? Or did he take the break up as a chance for him to become a better person, (clinging only to the cat to make up for hurting the uke) so he never dated anyone again in hopes to meet the uke in the future? I'd like to delude myself and believe it's the latter, but I wouldn't really know. He never even cared to look for the uke, apologize, and ask for a chance to prove himself trustworthy again. He simply assumed that the uke will not take him back anymore because he got tired of his whims. ===== "That person monopolized me. I was the only one who gave myself. But still... That time, I really loved that person. Even after we said goodbye, I still kept that key. It was painful and many times, I've wanted to throw it away but couldn't do it. It's a part of me I have to carry, and there's nothing I can do about it. Right now, there's nothing that can save me. I know I can't go anywhere. But still, that b*st*rd hurt me! If only that person always loved me, then I wouldn't have tried to forget these past five years. But then we meet again as if by chance. However... D*mnit! Why does this all have to get dredged up? "...How did I end up like this? ...He said it like that, but Baba-san's face looks so happy. But this person... When did this person have such kind eyes? My memories of him are different. It's kind of unsettling. Keep it together, Ryuuji. Do I realize that five years have passed? That man was just after my body. I love him but it's just too painful. However... If he's changed from the past..? If that's the case... "It's painful. He always puts me against this wall. One, just one certainty. And, in the end, he steals my heart. Those words, shake down the last of my reserve. I can't stop this again? Hey, Baba-san, this is cruel. What am I doing? I had fallen again. I'm such an idi*t... What? That look. It's not the Baba-san I know. Is he serious? Should I believe him? " <...Ryuuji.> ... Five years ago, I should have said those words, but my st*pid pride got in the way. It's taken me to reunite again to realize the meaning of those words. But right now, I'll blame it on the fever. Right now, I'm entirely not myself. I'm only existing within the core of my heart. I'm so in love with you!" Why I disliked the uke: - He was very weak. There is a limit to martyrdom, you know? The way he said that he doesn't care even if the seme lies, as long as he stays with him pissed me off. I get that this happens in real life, too. Like, when someone falls too deeply in love that they would endure their lover having affairs as long as they won't be completely abandoned. I had hopes for him, because he actually had the courage to break it off with the seme after being cheated on, despite being so in love with him 5 years ago. So why did he become even weaker 5 years later? How could he just accept the seme again when he suffered all those years clinging on that love? How could he melt just by seeing the seme's changed expression when he didn't even do anything else for him? I mean, what did he even do? He simply gave him back the key and let him decide if he'd take him back when he already felt and knew how much the uke still loved him (He realized this after seeing his key, didn't he?). Hmm, how do I say it? I dislike cheating, but I can tolerate it if I can see that the cheater actually showed remorse or suffered from his act, and proved his sincerity before getting back together with that lover. I liked the art, though, and I really liked the main plot (See how I even extracted a lot of their lines because they give out certain feeling.). I just hoped that after their separation, they really learned their lesson and changed. After all, there is no perfect relationship. People need to learn from their mistakes, grow up, and prove their partner how much they changed and are willing to do better things so as not to repeat the same mistake.