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289 @269.. I knew it.. I just knew it'd come out sooner or later. Ughh My heart hurts so much 'cos I'm again reminded how Ren really is... Ughh.. My mind's a mess. I picture different scenarios in my head but still can't help but get hurt. 3 @260.. Not particularly.. Just.. it's been a month or two since I read about that girl forcing a kiss on Ren cos he let his guard down, but I still hurt.. It hurts when I see him cos I remember it.. I know.. I'm not being fair cos even Kyoko was forcibly kissed by Sho when she let her guard down... But.. Idk.. It's Ren, y'know? He's not the purest, but I just assumed he was all-in for Kyoko, y'know? Sighhh... I wonder how I can get over this heartache.. It just feels like my own lover cheated on me...(06/23/18) @259. Fck. Okay. So Ren was really kissed, and he's nonchalant about it. When I first confirmed it, I felt so angry and hurt.. But after reading some comments, I realized, why should I feel it to that extent? They're right. It's not like Ren's a virgin anyway, and he's actually slept around like other popular guys. Its just that it wasn't always shown. I guess I just forgot about this part of him because I was too blinded by the idea that he's the ideal boyfriend I'd want for myself. Ugh. I feel disappointed and it's not even his fault. They're not really together anyway so he's not exactly bound to reserve anything for her. It was just my own assumption. I just expected too much of him. Haa.. For sure, this will be a scandal and Kyoko will learn about it. Since Kyoko was also previously kissed by Sho, Ren might think it's not that unfair anyway... But another thing I don't like is how some people think that Ren asking to escort her to her car means he's out to sleep with her AGAIN. why again? I just think some are right, that it's possible they have previously shared a bed so they can act like that to each other... I'm just hoping that since Ren already fell for Kyoko, that he'd stop doing those things casually... I guess my trust for Ren just dropped a little too much, so I don't want to hope so much. I might just get completely turned off if he does what I dread he could do. Siggggggggghhhh. He's just a fictional character but I feel like my ideals just got crushed pretty much... I mean, I love Kyoko and her journey, but I was really rooting for Ren, y'know? Then again, just because he did (or does) casual hookups, it doesn't automatically make him a bad person. Maybe that's just the aspect I don't like about him very much.. (@258: I just really hope Ren being kissed by that woman is just Kijima's imagination. Ugh. Ren and Kyoko already have too many misunderstandings for this to happen again. Sigh!) 8/20/17: ughhhh frustrating jealousy my heart hurt
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