hellahana's manga / #re-read again again and again(5)

So...... Is everyone having crush on him? Not that I'm asking tho. Oh? I kinda want to see that too. Surprise me author-nim. Tbh I enjoyed this story so much but the thing is I could never understand what's actually going on. I'm sad. Ah... Ayo sanyu my 'if you behave well-enough, I will praise you' guy, that's scary Jaeha, right? Idk who you are, seeing how close your touched is making me wonder if he's one of the mc's body man. Also the fact he kinda distant from his other member is concerning As if he's accepting the fate, waiting for that very moment. Man hajin tough He's nineteenth .....right? Ok let's say, their group is couple years old and he's around 16-18 when debuting. So when did he developed the feeling? No hate but he's basically a minor. Just reach adulthood. I might overanalyzing but it just feels so wrong like- idk. Author, what are you up to huh? Wtf did you do to mc's original body you fucker He knows, he know, and I know he know I hate how I love this story. It feel lacking in a sense... Idk how to say it. The feeling was there, but I'm stuck here in reality. I could never merge with them. With other story. I always find comfort and find me wandering in a storyline. It's the best feeling. You could never escape this hell but you can find a new meaning in a different place :) this story scream that I don't belong here. I am just a someone that has to read. Never mingle with a story. I could never be part of the story. In slice of life, coming of age, romance, school life, etc.. I can see myself in those stories'. It's amazing, confusing, and it was peaceful. I need therapy. IT FEELS TOO SHORT ARGHHHHH and everyone agree, I love that theory gurl. The bandmate just showed concern now when they should have shown it to og sihyeon. Oh sihyeon needs it the most but now he's gone. Not even a single love was pour. He has his little sister to look upon, a debt to be paid. He has no one and those scumbags took advantage of him. I do love that this slow progress, we can see all the shit. No need to rush. Also with Hajin being quiet, I can tolerate that. He has his reason and after what happens to sihyeon. I can't do shit. I can't even trust anyone atp. Hajin's experienced and he knows what he's doing. I feel sad. My lack of vocabulary is ticking me off, language barrier is a fucking disaster. I can't express my feeling in detail. It upset me so bad. The victim here is og sihyeon. He deserved so much love. The cause of sihyeon death is suicidal and I would never forgive whoever lead sihyeon until that point. Fuck. I'm in a bad mood and this fuel it more. To that girl, I don't know your name. I heard rumor bit I'm still not sure so I won't call you anything until I found out your real name. I'm sorry. Maybe I should've put trauma dumping alert, because of sihyeon, I'm letting out vent.. I have never talk about this to anyone. I regret for not befriending her. She's gone. I get those men feeling but all of you knew sihyeon longer and you don't even try to understand him. Just fucked off and die. I wish I could do something to refrain her. It's happened too fast in a night. The first week of spm trial. I could never forget that date. It's almost two year and I'll sit on the trial. It pain me. I don't even know her personally but I wish I knew her. What are you doing up there.. I wonder if you could see this. I'm sorry for writing all of this, without your consent haha.. I felt bad but I want to scream to the world. You deserve to live.