『Fangtasia』's manga / #psychological(185)

My Review: *SPOILER ALERT* So much heartbreak... I honestly cried. I’m so conflicted after reading this gem and to think I found it by browsing the stories. I didn't know about it beforehand. Kyung-soo (uke) will always choose Yule not just because in his head he is in love with him in a twisted way that he thinks a miracle might occur and they might be happy together but also because he knows very well that he can't escape and Yule will always find him no matter. His fear for Yule is over the fact that he destroyed his pure heart and had his friends gang-rape him. That was the reason why he never actually tried to escape all alone by himself to somewhere far away and because he is afraid of being alone and what he would have to go through when Yule would eventually find him. He is honestly really helpless. As for Yule, it's crystal clear that he has mental issues into a larger scale and they all started with his mother and when she was gone he moved those feelings towards Kyung-soo. Of course, at first you want Yule to just leave Kyung-soo alone but the more you read you just want him to change and be good to Kyung-soo. Both of them are so mentally unstable that they can never be happy with someone else, that much is true and we can tell from the side-stories which are ''what if'' versions. Kyung-soo couldn't be with Dong because they both would have suffered mentally and with Yule's brother there was no hope even if in the what if he was gentle because the pain he inflicted on Kyung-soo was more than what Yule had done. Other than the gang-rape in the past of course. And there's also the fact that he has mental issues too over his mother's death and his hate towards his brother. So, at the ending where they finally mutually break up (because that's what it seemed to me when he let him go at the hospital and Yule didn't do anything to keep him) but meet again a few months later and you can tell this will be another starting point for them. Still, it’s up to the reader how they want to interpret it.

After reading this, I get the feeling the webtoon is incomplete, though I realize that the author left it like that so we know Sekwang will die but not hurt us by actually reading about his death and the pain Jun will have to go through. I liked the basic idea of this; seeing the number of everyone's lifespan with the twist not seeing the one's you want to see the most. Another thought I have that was hinted when Jun mentioned that the other person would soon see the other person's number was that the ones they held close those person's numbers they couldn't see but when they had less than a year to leave, then they could see it in order to enjoy the remaining time (which is a year) to the fullest. I would have liked to see more character development, it's the only thing that was amiss from this. Their emotions were really lacking we can only see them in the last 3-4 chapters. I am actually kinda glad that it ended before he actually died. Don’t think I’d be able to handle the sadness. Though I wish there was some way for them to “skirt” the issue. Like if he died for a minute, but was able to be revived, this “resetting” the timer, as it were. But since Jim Ha is an actual doctor, I am guessing that he would already known if that were possible or not, since he would have seen people like that and seen their numbers before and after the temporary death. And if that could work, he’d have already run across a case like that. But even if we don’t see his actual death, it still feels very bittersweet. And it makes me sad. The ending is a sad-open ending. If someone likes angst, then I would recommend this story to you. Another kind of ending I would have enjoyed would have been: if on the day Sekwang was gonna die, they planned a vacation. It was calm and mysterious as they held hands, the moment of his death was mere minutes away. "Jun ha, you... seem to have numbers too and it says, 30 seconds" Jun ha looks in shock and relief that, both of them are gonna die at the same exact time. The End.