ReviewRaptor's manga / #Lackluster Writing(6)

The logic is honestly all over the place and some parts of the writing is really lackluster (the fathers mental issues that tie to his daughter, most of all) but the pacing is quite off almost like the writer didn't quite know what to talk about first/how to sequence it. The art is lovely and the basic story is interesting enough to read it, but it could really need some work in other departments. Another issue I find is the constant 'this happened but we didn't tell you yet' stuff, it feels really off and after a while very much like the author is really new to story telling given that things are only thrown at you and somewhat explained when the plot requires it instead of having a careful set-up and introduction or really just good sequencing. Not sure if I'll ever like the MC enough, she's a bit bland but I hope things will get better with time. Tho then again all characters are a bit bland, except the psycho...not sure if I'm happy about that.

The beginning is promising but as soon as she's reincarnated it goes downhill. She's obnoxious as a MC, entitled and just generally doesn't think her ideas further than she can throw her own brain. She mistreats her first spirit and it honestly bothers me. Because it's simply dumb. He said he was a special spirit, got confirmation from her teacher that it's true and STILL treats him like he's the most unimportant existence and just a tool at her disposal. She's dislikable to say the least and her entitlement gets annoying the more I read. The writing is also not the best because it's all over the place in terms of pacing and logic, there's a few instances where things happen because they need to happen and all that bs jazz. It's just not enjoyable. There doesn't seem to be a love story in existence anytime soon either, so there is literally zero reason for me to bother with this any more.

5 chapters in and despite the bad translations...it's really the plot I think that's a mess. The MC behaves seemingly randomly at times, some stuff is skipped (minor scenes too but I'm talking entire happenings here, mind you) and all in all it feels more like a rough draft of a story or a recollection of a novel and that's really not enjyoable to read. At this point I'm just gonna keep checking in for the fucking that'll eventually happen, the story itself has lost all interest for me due to the bad writing. The core story IS very interesting but, not with THIS execution. Sadly. It's rare to see mafia settings nowadays, so I was happy at first but that's gone to the void now unfortunately.

I know what the author was planning to go for but the result is MUCH too rushed. The writing is okay but has it's flaws. The love interest is written very lackluster and too irrational and ditzy for my taste here, but it's honestly just the overall rushed writing and the story just not really establishing emotions as much as there should be. This is very aparent in chapter 6 for example, that grand talk was supposed to be impactful but due to their past being revealed by obnoxious back and forth jumping and emotions just not hitting as much as they could have, the talk seems almost out of place, out of nowhere, as if there was a grand emotional arc missing and we never got to see that but now we gotta just accept 'the talk' and are supposed to feel emotional about it. Personally I also have an issue with the love interest's personality. The love interest behaves a little too much like a typical shoujo girl, if you know what i mean. Especially since he was prissy about being ditched and not contacted after publicly outing his supposed partner (which they didn't really agree on at that point yet). So MC running off could have easily been a natural reaction if we view this without bl-nonsense goggles on. They also didn't agree to date, so being prissy about the ghosting and feeling like they are in a realitionship so he's entitled to being angry wasn't really a likable way to write him. Given this is female toxic red flag material in people. :'D All in all I would say the writing is good at it's core idea but the execution mediocre due to being so rushed, back and forth going and emotions just not being there when they should be. It's a decent read for younger/less experienced readers I'm sure, but for seasoned readers who look for a good flowing story, emotional impact moments and so on, there's just nothing to be found here. Which is a shame since this COULD have been a really great story, it has plenty potential for sure. Overall I wouldn't recommend it, but check it out and see if the issues in it aren't as bad for you as they are for me. It depends on personal standards and level of experience with good writing/storytelling, so you might like it either way. :) I hope the author makes more stories and learns to refine the writing and pacing, the potential is definitely there, so I'm hoping for more of this author in the future.

Came here to check out the comic since I randomly saw this is getting an anime and my conclusion is (and was already at chapter 3): I kinda see why they would make this into an anime but then again I REALLY do not. I can not see who or what actually made anyone think this is anime material the world needs to see. The writing is lower mid levels and the base story nothing incredibly interesting if we strip it down to the basis. And this one is not a unicorn. This happens alot lately. At this point you cannot tell me that getting a tv spot/animation for a comic or book is not simply: someone knows someone/paid money to get a spot OR they just collect random names, stick them to the wall, throw a dart and see whatever the fuck they hit. And the suggestion box is simply going onto a website and hitting the Random button to get a RNG suggestion for the genre. That would honestly explain PERFECTLY how we get all these random, mid-level princess animes lately. ╮(￣▽￣)╭ The base plot is nothing new, but new enough for an anime I suppose. It would definitely garner interest for some. And there are quite a few moments that are done well and could be really nice as an animated version. HOWEVER. There are much too many issues with the writing alone for this to be anime worthy. Especially the start of it all by knowing full well she thinks of herself as a replacement and refuses, YET NOBODY TELLS HER SHE'S WRONG. And it takes way too many moments like this for them to finally say something! And then she keeps up the annoying misunderstanding too. This is peak shoujo idiocy in terms of writing. Nobody (except little schoolgirls) has ever liked this even as a momentary drama arc in a comic, let alone it being the start and basis for the plot itself. Then again, the story DOES use random, weird and unnatural character logic/behavior ALOT. So I shouldn't be surprised at seeing common, obnoxious tropes everywhere. What I also noticed is that it's clear the author uses the nobles trope more as an aesthetic, not as a world setting that is thought through and makes sense. Which is common for this genre of story, I know, but even so: Pick the ones with actual effort please? There ARE quite alot. XD I'm honestly very curious who/how it's chosen which comic gets an anime adaptation. Because nothing I know of that applies to quality, popularity and so on seems to fit as criteria. So what IS the deciding factor, I wonder?