ReviewRaptor's manga / #BAD WRITING(219)

The plot is interesting but...sadly the execution is bad. It's rushed and skips some key events that need to be there for good storytelling or even just a flowing story and the reasoning of characters is all over the place and just used to create drama or the next happening of some sort. It's really...not good in terms of writing. It feels more like a half-assed attempt at re-telling a novel in minimalistic comic format rather than a fleshed out comic. And that's just not fun to read. If you're looking for jack-off material, sure, this works. But if you want a flowing story with good...anything, this isn't it. Dropped at: ch. 8

5 chapters in and despite the bad translations...it's really the plot I think that's a mess. The MC behaves seemingly randomly at times, some stuff is skipped (minor scenes too but I'm talking entire happenings here, mind you) and all in all it feels more like a rough draft of a story or a recollection of a novel and that's really not enjyoable to read. At this point I'm just gonna keep checking in for the fucking that'll eventually happen, the story itself has lost all interest for me due to the bad writing. The core story IS very interesting but, not with THIS execution. Sadly. It's rare to see mafia settings nowadays, so I was happy at first but that's gone to the void now unfortunately.

This feels like there's pannels, pages or even whole chapters missing. WTF? One chapter they are both zero interested in each other, next the guy gets randomly horny at the other and then they suddenly fuck with both being interested/wanting it like they had just a falling-in-love arc successfully finished? The writing and pacing is bad. It honestly feels like someone had specific scenes in mind and just somewhat managed to string them together so they can slap a story/comic title onto it. But there's really more to writing than that...sadly this work doesn't manage to do that. Not gonna waste my time after flying up to ch 14. It's not coherrent enough to bother reading for the story and the sex scenes not detailed enough to skip through it for smut-only purposes. Hard pass.

Had hopes for this but the first chapter is already showing a lackluster and mediocre execution, at best I mean. It has a really 14-years-old-tumblr-author feel to it based on how the dialogue is written and how characters reason and react. It's not cringey but just...really making me loose all interest in anything that's happening o9r could be happening. (Doesn't seem to be the translations fault, btw.) It's fine to leave out some stuff but if you magically teleport a character and have her jump into a sentence that warrants a question/reaction from the bad guys being shown first then...it really feels like you have no fucking idea what you're doing. All in all it feels like a cliche clusterfuck of shoujo story parts being taken by a kid and squiched into something that's supposed to be a story. All while the pacing is so fast and happenings so abrupt that you're just sitting there all like: WTF!? oh, okay...? What? How? erhm...yeah. It's not interesting, it's not enjoyable and the art can't safe it either. Hard pass. (And probably the first to accomplish that in one chapter, I believe.)

This makes as much sense as sprinkling gold dust over horseshit and saying bone apple tea. WTF did i waste my time for?? And WTF is the artist wasting their talent on this for?? So many questions, such an abyssmal chance to recieve any answers. Spare yourself the read. There's literally nothing here. No story, no character, half a fucking maybe but that's about it. Skip through it for the pretty art, but don't bother looking for anything else. Seriously.

It's like someone made a comic based on a re-telling of a re-telling of a rough plot description...it's hardly a cohesive story and hence really isn't fun or interesting when reading. The plot might be interesting, but the execution butchered it to the point of me really growing disinterested by the first few chapters. The male characters are nice to look at but that's about the only positive thing I can say. Oh, and the male lead doesn't seem like a yandere. i don't think the author knows what that character type even is to be honest...

Wow, just wow. This felt like some fucked up, far-from-reality fetish fuckfest that a 14 year old tumblr user wrote. The little story that is there is butchered and hardly made into a cohesive story, it's choppy and jump-cuttish as all hell and even makes you think that entire chapters are missing. Some things are mentioned but not explained, others are just yeeted into your face and you have to accept them then and there, because around the next corner is another pile of shit waiting to be flung into your face. This is really just a fetish, self-insert I'm sure. Because even IF you are into these kinda forceful relationship dynamics...you cannot enjoy them because the author made zero effort to make ANY character likable or understandable in any way. They hardly have a personality and what they do have is trash and remains so throughout. This story, if you wanna call it that, throws happenings at you without stringing them together properly, all so (seemingly to me anyway) that the next cringey fuck scene can start. This is trash. And the type i seldom see on here with this level of average, early 2000-type of artworks. It's not worth reading. Spare yourself the waste of time. Not even as wanking material, mind you. There is nothing of worth to be found here from start to finish.

While the plot is interesting, again, like so often: The execution is very lacking. It's incredibly rushed, it skips scenes that are important and immerse the reader or just bring the characters alive, just so it can quickly go to the screwing around scenes. Good for jack-off material maybe, but this is clearly not trying to be smut but a fully fleshed out story...which it falls short on in every way. The art is decent and the plot interesting, but I'll probably only skim through pages to enjoy the art. It's not worth reading actively, so to speak. As sad as that is. :/