ReviewRaptor's manga / #BAD WRITING(228)

I'll be honest: It's not my thing, because it falls short on all fronts. The story is too basic, there is nothing exciting that keeps me reading (hence why I lost interested and started page flipping at chapter 17 already). Neither the story nor the characters are interesting enough, the art itself is very inconsistent too. You can tell quite a few times that a regular artist drew this, not a comic artist. And this shows in many panels when the MC is strangely nicely drawn whereas everywhere else she looks generic, rushed or almost scribbled and then slightly refined, resulting in art that looks lackluster and wonky in terms of anatomy. The art I could forgive, but only if the story or characters were interesting enough, which they are not. They all feel bland and while the story DOES make things happen, it also feels like nothing is happening at all. If that makes sense? Emotions just don't hit. Nothing is really as funny as it likely was intended to be, nothing as interesting and so on. I flipped to the end of the chapters and even theree the art is generic and inconsistent. The writing there also feels lackluster and bland, so I'm not exactly sure this is just a 'read 50 plus chapters, then itll be good!' kinda issue (which is a problem in and of itself btw - a story does NOT need that many chapters to 'cook'). I think for new readers or younger people with less experience for detailed writing can enjoy this, but experienced readers will likely not find much of interest here. Tho give it a try, maybe it's your thing. Especially if you are not too familiar with these kinda princess plots. I wouldn't recommend this, for any aspect, but I DO hope the artist/writer learn more and make another comic. Hopefully one with lots of expertise by then. :)

I got 2 issues, so hear me out! THE PERSONAL PROBLEM: I honestly cannot read this in a serious manner. I keep smirking, eyerolling and covering my eyes with my hands. XD Everytime this cake/fork stuff is mention it just makes me cringe in some sorta way because it sounds so weird when you listen to it. Like some 2001 made-up OC name from deviantart that the author thought sounds suuuuper cool and whatnot, but for anyone outside the teenage world it just sounds weird. If you know what I mean? I get people want to mix up the Omegaverse nonsense, and I am FULLY for it as there are a million better ways to do it, but this would have been better off being just an altered Omegaverse or at least choosing different names for the 'roles'. This honestly just doesn't sound good. So reading it just breaks immersion every single time, which isn't making this a good read in specific ways. Which is a shame since the plot idea is different (but still essentially the same rape-allowing plot) than Omegaverse. You could have made this some god/demon related stuff, mythical creatures, curses and blessings. Literally ANYTHING but calling people a food and tool. That's just weird man. I can't. Just thinking about it is making me crack up again. ( >∇<) THE REAL PROBLEM: The problem I have with this more than the weird name choice is: There was LITERALLY no reason to make this another rape story. The story set itself up as the 'forks' not being able to taste. You could have turned this into a very highly sexual tension story, anything from a sweet caress that's too long to endure to hardcore edging for the uke. There was no reason to make the seme, yet again, a fuckwit that cannot keep his dick under control when this was all about finally having tastebuds again. Absolute zero reason. And I am convinced half the readers could have come up with a MUCH better plot idea with this setup. All without having to resort to rape and 'haha, me powerful so you no have any say HURRDURR'. (Super appealing btw. [/sarcasm.exe crashed]) Due to the writing being trash tbh, I would not recommend this. I literally lost interest as soon as the seme said 'go to the police, I'm powerful so nobody will do anything anyway'. None of that is appealing, even for someone with a rape kink like me. Which is sad. Even in shitty scenarios I can usually manage to find appeal here and there. But this had me immediately nope out. And I don't care to wait for 'character developement' either. So I'mma hard pass. :/ Maybe as jerk off material this is good enough for some, but as a story? Really below mediocre. Which is sad since, again, the base idea WOULD have been interesting.

I know what the author was planning to go for but the result is MUCH too rushed. The writing is okay but has it's flaws. The love interest is written very lackluster and too irrational and ditzy for my taste here, but it's honestly just the overall rushed writing and the story just not really establishing emotions as much as there should be. This is very aparent in chapter 6 for example, that grand talk was supposed to be impactful but due to their past being revealed by obnoxious back and forth jumping and emotions just not hitting as much as they could have, the talk seems almost out of place, out of nowhere, as if there was a grand emotional arc missing and we never got to see that but now we gotta just accept 'the talk' and are supposed to feel emotional about it. Personally I also have an issue with the love interest's personality. The love interest behaves a little too much like a typical shoujo girl, if you know what i mean. Especially since he was prissy about being ditched and not contacted after publicly outing his supposed partner (which they didn't really agree on at that point yet). So MC running off could have easily been a natural reaction if we view this without bl-nonsense goggles on. They also didn't agree to date, so being prissy about the ghosting and feeling like they are in a realitionship so he's entitled to being angry wasn't really a likable way to write him. Given this is female toxic red flag material in people. :'D All in all I would say the writing is good at it's core idea but the execution mediocre due to being so rushed, back and forth going and emotions just not being there when they should be. It's a decent read for younger/less experienced readers I'm sure, but for seasoned readers who look for a good flowing story, emotional impact moments and so on, there's just nothing to be found here. Which is a shame since this COULD have been a really great story, it has plenty potential for sure. Overall I wouldn't recommend it, but check it out and see if the issues in it aren't as bad for you as they are for me. It depends on personal standards and level of experience with good writing/storytelling, so you might like it either way. :) I hope the author makes more stories and learns to refine the writing and pacing, the potential is definitely there, so I'm hoping for more of this author in the future.

I'm not really feelin this one. And it's already been 12 chapters. I know what it was supposed to be but somehow the story just feels more like the plot and it's happenings are controlling the characters, rather than this being a naturally flowing story. Like a very obvious fanfiction dictating characters into a specific direction without any flow, just goals in mind. If that makes sense? (￣∇￣") Kinda like a car steering the driver, not the driver steering the car. It feels forced and unpleasant that literally everything is forcing the MC into situations we all know he would get into anyway, just makes it faster tho, whcih i do not find well-wrtiiten. The puppy dog love interest is really nice but the other one really isn't. He lacks the specific appeal an arrogant and proud character like him needs to have, so he just comes off as a dickhead with porn-reasoning so far. I don't really feel invested. Especially not since the author made the mistake to pretend the MC has serious fear of his disgusted love interest, yet the very next panel they force him into a situation with him, making him look like a blushy maiden again. That type of inconsistency in character behavior has always bothered me and it breaks immersion each time I notice it. The base story is nice but the execution is forced in the truest sense of the word. This might not be a problem for everyone, but I for one don't like the writing and not even the characters. So I personally wouldn't recommend this, but check it out and see if it might be your thing.

The mid art I can overlook, but the writing is just not good. It's random and feels like a rough draft rather than a cohesive story. Really not gonna bother with this. Maybe someone else will if they are really bored, it's probably good to boredly flip through pages. Hope both the art and story become better from this author(s?) because there's much to learn, young Jedi.

My review will be short because there is legit nothing to adress here besides the obvious fact this is the type of 'deep' and 'cool' story a 14 year old horny teenager would think of when writing a self-insert fanfiction. And it's about as appealing too. The writing is below average, the main character just pitiful, the guy who just acts like a dog in heat is dislikable and unappealing in every way except looks. And the ending is just obnoxiously weird, rushed and bland. Making the already dislikable story even more dislikable. Even the smut scenes are not appealing. They look more like sketch practice for different poses, but not the interesting kind except maybe 2 in the entire comic. It's not worth reading tbh. Not even as jack off material I would recommend this because even those scenes lack any appeal. I hope that artist tries to make more comics, the artstyle is decent enough, but the writing needs ALOT of improvement.

Came here to check out the comic since I randomly saw this is getting an anime and my conclusion is (and was already at chapter 3): I kinda see why they would make this into an anime but then again I REALLY do not. I can not see who or what actually made anyone think this is anime material the world needs to see. The writing is lower mid levels and the base story nothing incredibly interesting if we strip it down to the basis. And this one is not a unicorn. This happens alot lately. At this point you cannot tell me that getting a tv spot/animation for a comic or book is not simply: someone knows someone/paid money to get a spot OR they just collect random names, stick them to the wall, throw a dart and see whatever the fuck they hit. And the suggestion box is simply going onto a website and hitting the Random button to get a RNG suggestion for the genre. That would honestly explain PERFECTLY how we get all these random, mid-level princess animes lately. ╮(￣▽￣)╭ The base plot is nothing new, but new enough for an anime I suppose. It would definitely garner interest for some. And there are quite a few moments that are done well and could be really nice as an animated version. HOWEVER. There are much too many issues with the writing alone for this to be anime worthy. Especially the start of it all by knowing full well she thinks of herself as a replacement and refuses, YET NOBODY TELLS HER SHE'S WRONG. And it takes way too many moments like this for them to finally say something! And then she keeps up the annoying misunderstanding too. This is peak shoujo idiocy in terms of writing. Nobody (except little schoolgirls) has ever liked this even as a momentary drama arc in a comic, let alone it being the start and basis for the plot itself. Then again, the story DOES use random, weird and unnatural character logic/behavior ALOT. So I shouldn't be surprised at seeing common, obnoxious tropes everywhere. What I also noticed is that it's clear the author uses the nobles trope more as an aesthetic, not as a world setting that is thought through and makes sense. Which is common for this genre of story, I know, but even so: Pick the ones with actual effort please? There ARE quite alot. XD I'm honestly very curious who/how it's chosen which comic gets an anime adaptation. Because nothing I know of that applies to quality, popularity and so on seems to fit as criteria. So what IS the deciding factor, I wonder?

There is many issues with this. And I do not mean translation, I mean the general story. It feels like some things are lost in translation, sure, but not everything. There are a few issues I had with the art from chapter one. Some expressions are WAY too dark in nature rather than portraying shock, fear, etc. that would match the moment. It's like the author had experience with dark material before writing this fluff piece, hence why they couldn't tone down the expressions to the right degree. Art aside, the writing is...not smooth or fluent you could say? It feels less like a carefully planned out pathway and move like someone yeeting a bunch of planks across the lawn that you are then going to walk on in a somewhat path-resembling manner. It's not as cohesive as it should be at times and it feels jumbled and even random sometimes. Which can break the immersion at times, which obviously is not good. In a way it feels rushed and in another it feels like it drags. We somehow skipped a chapter too inbetween 14 and 15 but maybe not? Hard to tell given the writing issues before. Speaking of issues with the writing tho, the biggest issue I had was the fact we had the great flow going for him turning into an insecure mess but then that somehow completely got just ignored and it was all of a sudden not a big deal anymore. There was NO talking about the issue from Naho's side, Kana didn't bother asking more, it simply got brushed over by them becoming a couple. Which is not ideal given the HUGE deal the author made of the sudden change from confident to insecure. That very much is a mistake on the writers part and it was quite the huge disappointment to me since we hardly ever see this stuff being done in a story the heavy way it was here. And then; POOF, not a thing anymore. Enjoy couply life and arival creating drama~. Just not a good call. I'm not sure if I'll keep reading. It's not really interesting enough after they completely glossed over the insecurity issues and gave no solution or such for it. But I might flip some more pages sometime. It's honestly not something I will eagerly await an update for tho. It's not a good enough read for that. All in all it's an okay story. But with it's flaws I wouldn't recommend it. It WOULD make for a good subject to re-do someday or maybe someone making a copy-cat plot. That would be nice, since the core story and character dynamic is quite nice. Check it out but be warned, it has plenty issues, tho maybe it'll still be a good read for someone else.