ReviewRaptor's manga / #BAD WRITING(205)

This is a review, so be warned to click away if you cannot stand critique: As adorable as this is and as lovely as the base story is; the writing isn't good. Feelings do not seem to settle or come to be as well as they should and the absolutely random and sudden shift from antsy fanboy to suddenly kissing and being on the same page as if they had been together for a while now was WAY too weird. It felt like a rough draft of a teenager's story that someone randomly serialized. I could ignore the aspect of emotions not being brought forth for the reader unless they have not much experience with how it works, but the total randomness of them jumping from aquaintances to 'oh yeah, we are both totally into each other' was just bad in every way. It was random, there was ZERO hint at any of this except from the MC and in general it was a weird choice, as if the author had no idea or could simply not be bothered with investing a single chapter into getting to that part. Which was really disappointing. It was a lovely base idea but ruined by the execution being so random and lackluster. I think it can work as a nice read for people who have not much experience with writing or have in mind that they already know each other (just skip chapter 1, then it somewhat works tbh). But for experienced readers who care for good writing and realism in how people interact/react or become lovers; this is just gonna disappoint. I wouldn't recommend this but I do hope the author creates better stories in the future, maybe even tries to re-do this story. I'd love to see that. :)

I am honestly not sure if it's the writing or the translations. Based on the grammar I would actually say it's the writing tho. Things just seem VERY unrealistic in how anything is going here. It would not happen from what i know that an unidentifiable body is shown to a relative, which would be pointless AND mentally scarring. The behavior of the detective is weird and unprofessional, random even. Nothing is explained as to wtf an unregistered individual here even means and and the love interest that appears behaves REALLY really damn stupid and random. Kinda like a 13 year old would imagine a cool mafia dude being like yet only having MOMENTS of him behaving like a literal thug without anything making sense. It's not pleasant to read. And i do NOT mean the translations. They seem decent enough, given we have no major grammar issues that pop out. So it ALL being a mistranslation cannot be the problem, especially since the pictures themselves do simply not make more sense even if we tried to make the text make more sense in our minds. I think I'll wait for the official translations to be shown for one chapter, but I honestly do not think this is a good story.

I cannot read more than 2 chapters of this. The writing is shitty tbh and VERY random and rushed, the characters weirdos and very dislikable (and I do not mean the 'creep' alone btw). The art is okay but the story is so bad I really have lost all interest there initially was with the description. This is probably a good read for people not looking for sense, rhyme, reason or smooth and coherent writing skills. Or if you're REALLY bored. 1 outta 10 but only barely.

Okay, no. Review Time, so bail if you don't wanna hear critique. The base plot was interesting (play a salesman to get dirt on an actor) but things quickly turned to shit in just one chapter. And I am not bothering with more of this. If the story had a more comedy-based tone and if there wasn't actual rape with the victim actually being afraid, the 'plottwist' would have been able to be laughed off for the most part. But it's not. It is held in a more realistic, serious tone and hence the happenings are NOT option to shrug off. The tone of the story is more realistic/casual, or empty I should say really, so the fact the MC was actually scared and things still went on really was NOT pleasant. And the sorry and sad attempt of the author just shrugging it off did not work since neither the MC actually got into what was happening to him nor did the rapist actually have a pleasant personality and the MC's so-called friend too did the opposite of what was needed to make any of this acceptable even as a porn-type fantasy read (who is REALLY a piece of shit btw for doing this). The idea was nice, but it was entirely ruined by lack of everything. The art cannot carry this either, it's average and has no panels here and there that actually hook you in a moment at least. Not even the smut scenes are worth more than a glance as there is nothing special about those either. Which could have maybe saved this from getting an entirely negative review. As I said; I will not bother with this past the first chapter. Maybe the writing after that will be decent or good, but if the intro is horseshit that means the rest is also horseshit. Based on seeing much horseshit over the years, I speak from frequent experience. :'D This might be a nice read for people who disregard literally any sort of writing skills but for those that need the story and character behavior to be at least somewhat pleasant: Look elsewhere. I wouldn't bother recommending this, ever. There is literally nothing positive I can find about this except the VERY core plotline. Which I hope someone more talented will copy someday, but oh well. ^^;

The writing is really weird. For some reason it feels like everything regarding the male childhood friend is given detail and effort, but everything else, even the goddamn main character is feeling shallow, random and effortless. Basic, all in all. And it's weird since the core story IS filled with potential. It just wasn't translated in any shape. Which disappoints me quite a bit since I love the story at it's core. :( The art is okay, but it cannot carry this. The MC is not written well enough and the strange jumping from one moment to another without emphasizing emotions or working out a single moment even really makes it hard to say that there isn't much to enjoy here if you're looking for detailed writing, coherent storytelling and overall feelings to hook you. And I do not think the translation can be at fault. It's decent and aligns with what the comic itself is portraying, so it's likely really the writing that's the issue. If this has a novel as base, then I'd suggest giving that a try. I think it could be a whole lot better, given that what makes a novel so detailed is usually cut out from the comic adaptations by those who make them (emphasizing emotions, monologue, descriptor-type sentences to give immersion, etc.). I really see nothing of interest in here for myself, so I'll be moving on. Maybe if I have time to check out source material I'll give that a try tho. We don't get many non-cliche childhood friend stories that have an interesting storyline after all. Not my thing, wouldn't recommend either but I am sure for people less interested in detailed writing and whatnot, or simply just newbies, this could still be a good read. People gotta figure that out themselves tho, so give it a try I guess if it might apply to you.

The MC isn't likable, the story isn't really interesting since it's like a basic Esper-Soother storyline and the art can't carry it for me. Just not my thing in any way but it really depends on taste.