ReviewRaptor's manga / #Amateur Writing(3)

This reads like someone told their friend about a really cool sex scene they thought of and then said: "I wanna make this into a comic!". Then the friend replies: "But a comic needs to have plot and such, right?". And the creators reply was simply: "Well, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it....". This seriously has SUCH heavy raw draft vibes, I can't even. Like the only planned out thing was 'sex scene' and the rest was just thrown together nilly willy. I think this might turn out to be yet another one of those smut comics that would have been better off as a 'silent' art reel. Because so far the writing is confusing, lacking and very amateurish in nature. And I don't think it'll get better, unless this was a 2-part promo upload. Which I doubt....

Sadly, this isn't my thing, I prefer coherrent and well written stories instead of weird randomness. But I suppose whoever is looking for wanking material can probably like this. The story had potential at it's very rough core, but it got ruined by half-assing and rushing it just to draw dick sucking. The story is weird, jumps to the first 'intimacy' scene at a REALLY weird moment, literally out of nowhere (just like MC magically being in love) and there is likely much more to add to the list. So I'm dropping this after sadly only 5 chapters. The characters are bland and not well introduced or worked out, the brother is really dislikable, their emotions are not portrayed but just randomly told/reveal/acted upon and I see really nothing of interest to me that would overshadow those problems in the story. This feels like yet another author that wanted to draw bonking with minimal story to it and somehow, nilly-willy, tried to string it together so it can be made into a comic. This would have been better off with either ALOT of work put into the plot/writing OR simply leaving it at regular smut without a story.