just_m3h's manga / #trauma(97)

Rio is living alone while his father is off teaching in God knows where, when he is visited by one of his father's students, Rui. Rui seems to act like he is quite familiar with Rio. Where could they have met before? This is definitely one of those stories that you don't think much of at first, but slowly creep their way into your heart. I love the sort of connection they have. With or without knowing it, Rio saved poor, abused Rui many times over. Not just from his loneliness, but also from the feelings of worthlessness and insecurities about his physical characteristics. His mom is such a disgusting person, to cheat on her husband and blame the physical proof of her child on the child himself. It's just disgusting. Rio, on the other hand. People may not think it, because it's a light-ish yaoi and you don't really expect this kind of plot in this kind of yaoi. But. That's definitely neglect. Abuse, even. It's his exam period and his father couldn't make a bloody phone call??? Rio even tried to go to a community college so that he could be there when his dad gets home. His dad really does not deserve that kind of devotion. I had actually hoped Rio would leave without telling him. But whatever the situation, I'm so glad he followed his dreams to Tokyo (and Rui). They really are the perfect cure for each other's loneliness. 4.6

Kotarou was content with his quiet (and somewhat lonely) university days when Aoi, the university's playboy, came crashing into his life. At first, Kota was just trying to help a friend out, but unexpectedly, he ends up becoming sex friends with Aoi, who “does not do the whole feelings thing”. But burried behind Aoi's cold approach to sex and intimacy, which is at odds with his general engaging demeanor, are issues he has hidden away since high school. I really like the progression, especially towards the end. It really helped deepen their relationship, the way they went about making amends, so to speak. I am relieved that Aoi, while pushy, did get his consent. I couldn't have loved this story at all, if rape had been involved. I enjoyed seeing Aoi turn things around and acknowledging the source of his trauma and choosing not let it make him an asshole, instead, letting it go. I love that he went after Kota and apologised, too. Kota was great, holding his ground like that, and so brave, too, confessing in public like that. Really enjoyed this. 5

Ian was sold off by his wretched family to work as a "painter behind the curtain" for the talentless heir of a rich line of artists. His salvation from the slavery and abuse comes in the form of the scandalous and scandalously rich Raymond, an upstart merchant with a secret agenda. It's length certainly lends it the advantage of depth and complexity. I enjoyed the gradual progression of their relationship and the details regarding the political climate. And the side characters like Nick, Henry and Martha certainly helped things with how charismatic and easy to love they were. And I am truly relieved Ray could give everything up, including his thirst for revenge, in exchange for loving Ian for the rest of his life. Don't think he could have been this likable otherwise. Ian is obviously a gem of a person, to not be jaded and evil after all the shot he's been put through. Overall, they're good together and the story is interesting and well done. But. I would also like to read more about the revolution and the changes occurring in society. 4.8

Emoto is an up and coming actor who did a terrible thing to his university kohai (now a designer) and can no longer find the means to apologise. Emoto Takeru is *far* from perfect (and that's and understatement). But there's certainly something about how self aware and sincere he is, that makes me want to forgive him for his previous terrible ways. Chouji is such a wonderful thing, that came into his miserable life, truly his own miracle. I love that Emoto realised early on that Chouji was special to him. 5/5

Hiroto is only ever wanted for his looks and body and none of the men he previously dated truly ever loved him. He develops a complex about it over the years. Cue old classmate turned porn actor Issa, who might just be what he needed to get his confidence back in being loved again. I really liked boyh of them, their personalities were interesting, and I really enjoyed Hiroto's progress (though it was a little rushed in the penultimate chapter). Issa was so thoughtful and persistent, he was exactly what Hiroto needed. Love that he's quiting unprompted. Man's got his priorities straight. 5

Chi Hwan is no saint. And it is difficult to really like him despite his having saved Sooin. He killed hundreds of vampires, but it was so that he could live. The story doesn't really explain why he was unable to drink blood from humans, though. Sooin, as well. Was too broken and morally gray, to be an enjoyable character. It was through no fault of his, though. Such were his circumstances. I do feel Sungha should have to suffer more for his actions. Man's a fucking psychopath! Joohyun, though, suffered enough for his part in the proceedings, more or less. Overall, the plot was interesting and the ending twist was quite good, but I just didn't enjoy the story. Too much truma and pain. 4/5

Shinosuke is an overworked employee in a middling hotel, who has trauma from his scum-of-the-earth ex boyfriend. But a one night stand with a random handsome neighbour (Shizuka) who ends up being his new boss, develops in to something more and starts to tug at his worn out heart strings, yet again. Fuckin A. I love every little bit of it, dammit. I love how competent and strong Shinosuke is. I love how quietly possessive Shizuka is. How much he treasures him. He so jealously guard his every moment and memory, yet he's never intrusive or disrespectful. I love, love, love them together. 5!

Yeah, no

1, 3: Story about Youji, an amateur manga artist, and how he falls for Sawa, his sepai who always wears gloves for an unknown reason. The story was incredible. And incredibly painful. Yaoi rarely deal with issues like self harm and trauma well, but this was amazing. I wish them all the happiness. 5 2, 4: Suo and Minato meet online as bl fanfic writer and fan artist. Once they meet irl, their bond strengthens and Suo eventually realizes he is in love with Minato. Only, Minato has been in love with him for just as long, if not longer. So much pain in their desperation, but so heartwarming and sweet, too. Suo will never ever know how much he saved Minato. Lord. This child needed that break. 4.7 The entire collection has such depth and evokes the strangest sense of nostalgia. Bittersweet but heavy on the sweet, and heartbreakingly beautiful.

Probably going to be a painful read. But we'll trudge on, yes