pluckaduck's manga / #trauma(3)

it's super addicting and entertaining, but it's hard to read ngl. i applaud the author for writing such an immersive work that even readers who haven't experienced SA (speaking for myself) can feel the anguish of the protagonist thru the screen. the imagery is quite good, and the characters, especially the villain, has a lot of depth, instead of being just a simple pedophile ch 58. i don't see how ian and jeremy could ever be together without ian feeling resentment towards him. i mean, i knew ian was supposed to be endgame, but as of now, and possibly in the future it won't be anything like pure love. ian truly loves nadia and what he feels for jeremy is guilt, responsibility, and at best, a bit of lust. now i just feel extremely bad for nadia, bc ian cant extricate jeremy from his life and that would ruin their relationship well, this had been very emotionally devastating. after completing this, i spent a day contemplating and tearing up when i think of all that occurred in this story. while it wasn't perfect, the emotional impact far exceeds the story's faults. the last 10-20 chapters felt directionless and filler-y. there was a lot of imagery and metaphors, flowery words, so to speak, that frankly felt abstract, confusing, and pretentious. (ie. some sequences of events were confusing bc they were mixed with hallucinations.) yes, it was still about the jeremy's trauma and his complex relationship with ian, and i liked how difficult the process of coming to terms with the trauma, but, still. everything before was really good, no short of a masterpiece. there are also a lot of characters and their plotlines that I found not super relevant to the plot. like the part when pascal was high and beating jeremy... i had to suspend my disbelief for that. that event was important for his chara development, but, still.

first story wasnt all that sad. the art is really nice tho. the uke didn't feel fleshed out enough for me to care. if the mangaka intended his entire characterization to be miserable, regretful, and pitiful, then they succeeded. bc he has no other personality. he feels like a plot device instead of a person. and it doesnt feel particularly sad or angsty bc of the seme. i was bitterly thinking how nice that the seme is so kind and gentle and conveniently there to comfort, save, and baby him. tho, my callousness might be attributed to my lack of love life, so i cant relate to his situation much.

to be frank, i did not like this manga. it was however engaging and the protagonist was realistic in the sense that she is still as weak-minded as the first chapter and had no growth, even after becoming skinny, which is a sad reality for a lot of people. she's kinda unlikable and pathetic, but everyone else was pretty shitty and weird.