pluckaduck's manga / #dark(39)

it was a fascinating read- sure it's unique and refreshing among the sea of bls, but when i finished this, i wasn't sad or creeped out, unsettled or fulfilled, or whatever the author intended for us to feel. most of the time, the plot felt directionless- like i get what's going on, but it feels rather monotonous and mundane than a thrilling display of different power dynamics (ig i was expecting a cat-and-mouse dynamic...). however, there was always a lurking feeling that this tranquil vibe would shatter any second... hmm, perhaps this is the tone the author was going for? also, i would love it if the charas were more fleshed out, even if it meant prolonging the story, to really get into the twisted psyche of the protagonist and ml(?). i like how from the viewpoint of society, they look rather normal- mc was a psychopath, sure, but it wasnt edgy or in-your-face, and ml was a seemingly amiable novel writer- it feels more realistic, and makes sense how the naive psychiatrist would fall for them.

it's...bizarre. the ending kinda fell flat tho- the way he died was deserved, but i wished we explored more of his mind. the storytelling is pretty great- it's first-person POV and it's interesting. the art is, well, not like those mangas, but it's not the wrong choice, considering some readers wouldnt be able to stomach thru if it was realistic-looking art (ahem, me). it's so abstract yet creepy... i feel horror yet fascination... is it supposed to reflect how he views the world, whom he deemed inferior? who knows, but it's indescribable.

mom, while beautiful, is so eerily emotionless. the shading is immaculate, framing her in a disturbing and creepy light, even in the beginning she seemed normal, at least her actions were, there was just an unsettling vibe around her. god it's so sad that he's so emotionally attached to his mom, despite having deep anxiety and fear to the extent he developed speech impairment.

i love how detailed the background art is, especially the building where akira was kept... it was like the author drawn out a model of the entire building, every nook and cranny of it before planning out the action in which it would take place. and the romance is honestly pretty good. i love the themes of the rebellious nature of youth vs corrupt govt and humanity vs profound power, what could happen if such immense power was attempted to be tamed by mere humans, and putting it in the hands of children no less... obviously, disastrous results.

it delivered well given its premise. and tbh the mom is so hot! like she's horrible and all but she so beautiful.

it's super addicting and entertaining, but it's hard to read ngl. i applaud the author for writing such an immersive work that even readers who haven't experienced SA (speaking for myself) can feel the anguish of the protagonist thru the screen. the imagery is quite good, and the characters, especially the villain, has a lot of depth, instead of being just a simple pedophile ch 58. i don't see how ian and jeremy could ever be together without ian feeling resentment towards him. i mean, i knew ian was supposed to be endgame, but as of now, and possibly in the future it won't be anything like pure love. ian truly loves nadia and what he feels for jeremy is guilt, responsibility, and at best, a bit of lust. now i just feel extremely bad for nadia, bc ian cant extricate jeremy from his life and that would ruin their relationship well, this had been very emotionally devastating. after completing this, i spent a day contemplating and tearing up when i think of all that occurred in this story. while it wasn't perfect, the emotional impact far exceeds the story's faults. the last 10-20 chapters felt directionless and filler-y. there was a lot of imagery and metaphors, flowery words, so to speak, that frankly felt abstract, confusing, and pretentious. (ie. some sequences of events were confusing bc they were mixed with hallucinations.) yes, it was still about the jeremy's trauma and his complex relationship with ian, and i liked how difficult the process of coming to terms with the trauma, but, still. everything before was really good, no short of a masterpiece. there are also a lot of characters and their plotlines that I found not super relevant to the plot. like the part when pascal was high and beating jeremy... i had to suspend my disbelief for that. that event was important for his chara development, but, still.