kimuchi's manga / #past life(2)

SPOILER!!!! So I just read the japanese raws for ch7 & boi that was depressing af. So ch5, Kaid finds out that Shirley is the lady. In Ch6, Kaid shows Shirley that he made graves for her & her family; he & others who were close to the lady would occasionally go there to pray & leave offerings. He gets down on 1 knee & apologizes. So this part symbolizes their past relationship as servant & lady. In ch7, Shirley doesn't act like her current self (meek, quiet, speaks only when asked, etc.), but speaks how she was like as a royalty/lover. She tells him that everything Helt/Kaid did was right & moral & she doesn't blame him at all. But tells him that the one thing he was wrong about was not believing in her. She said that if only he told her the truth, she would've helped him with his plans and eradicated her family. She mentioned that she was the type of girl who left her fiance for Helt, a selfish girl that only thought about herself (is what she added while in tears). She could care less of what would happen to her family b/c who she truly loved was him alone. But she also said that she knew this wouldn't have worked bc her destiny was to die. There was no way for her to be left alive while her family was burnt alive. She even apologizes that she overheard the dungeon guards talking about Helt's plan to save her & send her to live at his hometown. But she felt that the guards were losing trust & respect towards him, so she came up with the scenario of just ending her life for Helt to live on as a leader (that painful scene of Helt and the lady meeting face to face in the dungeon). She apologizes that he had to carry on this guilt of killing her and told him that he is free from that now. Helt fights and says that this all happened b/c of his weakness (blahblahblah). She asks Helt whether he truly loved her back then & he replies, “With all my heart.” She also said she loved him dearly & he was her first true love & will never regret their time together, etc. Shirley tells Helt to stand up & talk as equals & speak as Kaid, his current self. He asks what her plans are from now on, she says a nun. He asks if he should relocate her burial but asks if he could keep a lock of her hair. She worries that she was dirty & didn’t take a shower back then, so if he wants to keep it, he should wash it then preserve it (lol, then she realizes that doesn’t matter b/c she was bloody anyways). She mentions that they should properly break up (as they were a couple in her past life). They shake hands and she says, “Goodbye Helt, thank you for everything.” Helt says, “My pleasure.” Caroline then runs in & tells Kaid that Tim was poisoned. DUN DUN DUUUUUN… It sounds like he was an asshole till the end (which he still is), but I left out a great chunk of his lines so we shall see in the translated version. BUT regardless, the way he did things was truly distasteful. I mean, people back then I bet were easy to manipulate. They were like sheep. There were definitely ways to fool them and for both of them to have a somewhat happy ending (if the girl forgave him). But nope. He had to lie to her fkn face and keep her in a dirty dungeon like a pig left for slaughter. She didn't deserve what she went through. She was innocent. That's what truly hits me everytime I read these chapters.