sahlty's manga / #Trauma(30)

Okay so this story is kinda fucked up? Basically Rau loves Ivan his android caretaker who’s like a father figure. Tricks Ivan into having sex with him by disguising it under the guise of it being education and Ivan being an innocent soul, just goes a long with it. Later another rival Seme comes. Don’t even rmb his name, he’s a douche. He’s a programmer that works in android so what do you know, he fucks up Ivan and erases his memories of Rau. Obviously this rival Seme loves Ivan too and wants him for himself so he does it, snatches Ivan away from Rau and makes it so that Ivan is now a prisoner in this asshole’s home and Rau can’t legally get to Ivan. This part of the story makes me so ill cause it’s rape, like it’s plain manipulation and rape. How can you say you love someone and do this to them I don’t understand. So TW: Dubious consent, to me it’s rape. Some time goes by, Rau is now in the police once or something like that? He’s been working his way to becoming independent so he can someday have the strength to get Ivan back. In Rau’s mission, it’s to take place at the asshole’s apartment building so Rau volunteers for the mission and goes. All the while, during this time Ivan was slowly regaining his memories of Rau and their time together. TDLR, Rau gets hurt, almost dies, Ivan remembers everything and also almost “dies”. Ivan shuts down but after some time manages to wake up again and finally him and Rau live happily ever after.

After coming across a tragic romance novel called ‘God’s Crest/Seal’, FL is plagued by nightmares of the horrific trauma and abuse the villain of the story, Aseph endures since he was a child. In this world, something called God’s Crest appears uniquely in pairs to signify soulmates and only those with the same seal/mark can be together or they fall under what’s called seal sickness which is unbearable. Originally, Aseph falls for the heroine who is the fated soulmate of the Prince and alas, because of overwhelming grief and hatred or having loss the love of his life, Aseph was ultimately killed by the Prince who was hailed for being a hero that slayed the devil. Unable to stop thinking about Aseph, FL prays to be able to save him from this cruel world. A miracle happens and FL wakes you to find herself in the story of ‘God’s Crest/Seal’ as Elzay Tiathe, the sister to the heroine of the story who supposedly doesn’t appear in the story at all. FL and Aseph have a chance encounter and slowly, they grow close. Unfortunately, FL develops a mark on her, sealing her fate, leaving her desperate and depressed that she could not be with Aseph and save him as she hoped. Aseph, ML, grows interest, obsession and love for FL. At the end of season 1 chapter 40, FL finally reveals that she bears the mark of God while the ML does not. However, they get engaged and intend to marry anyways. Season 2 sees the entrance of a villain known for targeting people with the crest, enjoying their suffering as they slowly lose their minds after losing their crest. FL gets visited by the Goddess Primetsa to discover that she was originally a soul from this world that because of her ability to resonate with people, by chance she saw Aseph’s fate and dedicated to sacrificing her soul multiple times to try to change his fate. So it would seem that FL of the modern world and novel world are the same soul just different identities. In Aseph’s original destiny, he was supposed to have died at 5. The goddess could not bear to see FL suffer and sent her to the far away world, which is Korea but even then, she still made the same choice and returned. At the end, ML, corrupted by the previous exchange of his soul to the devil, is finally able to receive his crest after gaining back his pure blood because of his sacrifice to save FL. He meets the goddess and is returned to the world of the living to live out his happy days with FL. FL and ML ends up having a child together and live happily ever after. ML does live up to being a villain, being cruel, obsessive, two-faced, and has skewed perceptions how how to gain and show affection which is no surprise given all the traumatic experiences he has experienced all throughout his life. He has felt little to no affection and has been constantly abused so it is no wonder he does not know how to love. He is toxic, but he was abused by so many before that he has become this way. It is also through FL’s love and faith that starts changing him in subtle ways. While he may never be the most wholesome, he doesn’t have to be because FL accepts him and he genuinely loves FL and would give his life for her. While some people criticise about FL being a crybaby, I’m not irritated by that. I find it reasonable that FL is emotional especially when it comes to ML because she deeply empathises with the pain he went through and is deeply in love with him. Wouldn’t anyone hurt to see someone they love hurt? Story is definitely dark, frighteningly so with Aseph’s trauma that just makes your heart cringe. But this is definitely a story about how love conquers all, thanks to FL’s determination and unbending love for ML that ultimately changed his fate.

Man this shit is just sad. Uke is a talented photographer who went missing for five years because he went on an expedition to take pictures in a war zone and an accident happened which cost him to be in a coma for that period of time. Finally after five years he returns back to Korea, looking for his boyfriend. Heartbreakingly, he finds that his longtime boyfriend had actually gotten himself a new partner. Uke goes on a journey to rebuild his life to how it was before he had been gone for so long. He gets a position as a photographer and a noncommittal sexual relationship develops between him and his manager, the Seme. Battling with the ghost of his past relationship and the ambiguity of his current one, Uke tries to find a balance, tries to find peace. The story feels very real because it deals with the topic of how hard it can be to move on from a relationship you have known for your whole life and trying to start anew again. It is truly really difficult to see how the Uke struggles to get back on its feet after being gone for so long and having to deal with the after-effects of his head trauma that caused his coma of five years.

Fuck. Could it get any worse? There’s literally no redemption, only pain and suffering for the uke. Spoilers in season 2/3 talks about rape happening to the Uke in a flashback and again, he suffers more of it at a later time. Struggling with debt and trying to find independence to survive, the world is not kind but cruel. I’m not torturing myself to read on. The Seme isn’t worth it, nor is their relationship. Fucking toxic, and I’m sick to my stomach knowing the Uke will just suffer so much from the hands of the wretched people around him. Fuck nah.

https://readhive.org/series/46416/#releases