hoshi freak's manga / #psychological(12)

~ reminiscent of killing stalking in many ways, but the ending was so much more satisfying! unlike KS, the ending was sweet and finilized the story. i admit that sungho and dohyun don't have a healthy relationship, and walking away when they had a chance might have been better realistically, i'm still so happy they were given a happy ending together. a happy ending is very unlikely to happen in a psychological bl like this, so i made sure to prepare myself for the worst possible outcome. this was a refreshing change for a dark manga. the feelings sungho harbored towards dohyun (vice-versa) are so complex and twisted that it's hard for me to understand completely. sungho was focused entirely to going back to the past, that he was willing to do anything to have that comfort again. but in that comfort, there was still resentment towards dohyun and a longing to feel a deeper connection to him besides sexual attraction. he harbored those feelings for 9 years, until they manifested into a toxic obsession with dohyun. donhyun, kidnapped and frustrated, couldn't remember who sungho was and what he meant to him. usually, dohyun would've developed stockholm syndrome and bam! a relationship with no real meaning. after dohyun remembered all his memories, he realized that dohyun meant a lot to him then. this led him to develop feelings for the present sungho, after they got over all those fights>:( the character development for dohyun was a 180, and it was so nice to see him change from the shitbag he was in the beginning. in the end, he resumed his daily life but now there's sungho in it. instead of being stuck in the past wanting to change what they did, they lived in the present and accepted each other for who they are. something about that is so heartwarming to me. i think it's terrible that sungho raped dohyun multiple times, and i won't try to justify that. however, i can't help but be happy that they were able to be together and try again at love in the end. was it better than KS, i'm not sure. but it's definitely one of my favorite mangas that I've read so far. a masterpiece, had a lot of angst and messed up shit that i love so much (not the rape), and the art complimented the feeling of the story.

~ this manga definitely tugged at my heart, i cried sm during the last two episodes. i felt sorta scared of namsoo in the middle because he seemed insane, but when i saw his living conditions and past, i just felt pity of the poor kid. i do wish we got to see more of namsoo's life before transferring to hyeongoh's school. although i am satisfied with namsoo's background, since i feel like i can understand his character more. he has lost sense of reality, and his mind is similar to an elementary student. therefore, he has no limits and doesn't reach a breaking point despite being beaten up. hyeongoh was in a hopeless situation, but i do wish that he tried harder to find a way out of his toxic school. seeing namsoo in the hospital made me break down in tears, idk why but seeing him like that made me feel so bad for him. i do think it's good though that he gets the proper treatment he needs. the ending wasn't too bad, it was heartwarming to see hyeongoh visit namsoo. it's obvious he knows namsoo is his twin brother, so their relationship definitely progressed. it's unfortunate that namsoo couldn't tell hyeongoh earlier. ngl i thought their parents were namsoo and the girl that's obsessed with him at first, and i literally cried bc he's a hetero. i was so sad, but then i realized it was their parents. overall, i surprisingly enjoyed reading this manga even though it wasn't a bl and had no romance whatsoever. i couldn't put it down, vvv interesting. i do wish we could see more chapters of the twins together, but i'm satisfied with what we got!

~ i wish there were more chapters so we can get more in depth with the characters and plot but it wasn't COMPLETELY rushed. tbh i'm not that mad at jinyoo and hayan becoming a couple. they lack chemistry, and it would've been interesting if he ended up with sungtae, but overall it wasn't a bad relationship. there was potential for jinyoo to have stockholm syndrome, which i thought would also be an interesting addition to the plot, but he changed for the better ig. all the characters, except the psycho, seemed to wrap things up on a good note. the ending was slightly rushed and felt incomplete, but compared to the ending of well done, this is a lot better. the extras helped since we got an explanation of almost everything. i wish there was room for the author to explore jinyoo losing his mind, a potential yandere couple. it wasn't nearly as scary as killing stalking, but it did have it's disturbing moments. it's a solid psychological manga, but ks remains at the top of my faves ! 3.5 / 5

~ romantically horrifying, i truly love this manga and find it very interesting. it's perhaps the only manga where i have really thought about the smallest details and the meaning of everything. i guess that's why it appealed to me. the characters are very interesting and have distinct personalities, but i don't know if sangwoo "loved" yoonbum. i wouldn't call it love, but more so attachment and the longing to have an empty void filled. i'm still in shock from finishing killing stalking, and i'll continue to invest my time in this series to organize my thoughts more. 4/13/20 - 11:34 p.m.

~ i can't say if jin is a protagonist or antagonist in this story. however, i do believe he was a victim to a certain extent. in the last few chapters, the dad tried to redeem himself. i'm assuming the author wanted two sides of the story and to show that the dad is still a human. his actions before can't be justified, so even tho it was the mom who threw jin off the roof, it doesn't change who the dad is. in his own convoluted fucked-up way, this was how he expressed his 'love' (yes, i think he did love jin, not in a healthy way ofc) which probably seemed fine to him since younger jin expressed his enjoyment for this type of thing. there's a fine line between jin being a victim, and him WANTING to be a victim since he's so repulsed by even the thought of being similar to his dad. by fabricating his memories to suit his victim-situation, he was able to take the responsibility out of his hands and place them into his dad's. imo there's not much to say about kyun yoon and jin,, i didn't read this bc i wanted to see a hetero couple, but that's what i got. i did get sad when manny died, but after i read 'they all die in the end' istg i'm invincible. i don't feel as affected when a (mainly flat) character dies, but if we got to see more about manny's life outside of school, maybe my reaction would've been different. scene where jin fights beau park and beats the shit out of him by throwing rocks and biting his arm was so cool. damn kid go off ig. it was a fine read, i don't regret it, but i felt like there could have been more to expand on since i didn't get attached to the characters or plot. you KNOW a story's good when you love or hate a character with all your heart. just didn't get that, but it's ok!

they both were playing with fire, except alex never foresaw himself being burned. it's ironic that clark ultimately caused alex's demise, even when he was in a hostage situation. it was hinted in the beginning of the story that clark poisoned that cat, which revealed that even he had some secrets to hide. clark is manipulative and enjoys uncovering crime stories for his own pleasure. alex is a control freak who desperately wants someone to stay with him, but struggles to convey his feelings in a healthy way. since feelings are fleeting, he'd rather preserve them and keep them in their prime, even if that meant killing the person before they had a change of heart. it's interesting to see their relationship dynamics come into play. a dominant, cool-headed uke and a puppy-like, murderous seme. the characters were quite original, and it would've been nice to see these two in an alt universe without all the fuck-up aspects of this story. the ending wasn't that surprising but wasn't disappointing either. after all, this is a psychological manga (death is a motif), so someone has to fucking die. even if they continued to live, i don't think they could be in a healthy relationship (pointing out the obvious). i know that's not the point of this bl, and i wasn't expecting this to be like warehouse. she was one-of-a-kind, and probably will stay that way in this genre. i don't ship them, since their feelings were never sincere and clark especially only entertained alex for the sake of his hobby, but it would be nice to play around with the idea of them being a couple in this realm. i do believe alex was trying to change, he was shown in earlier chapters trying to tell himself not to think unhappy thoughts. my heart goes out for him, and i think he just met the wrong person at the wrong time in his life. he was shaped by the conditions of his lonely childhood, with no guidance from friends or people willing to help him reach a healthy form of happiness. he found consolation in someone who was also mentally unstable, and we all know it's hopeless to find redemption from someone who can't give out more than they can take. a good song to capture the vibe of this bl is [psycho by red velvet] without the "hey now we'll be ok" part lmao

~ damn. even with memory loss, nothing can tear these two apart. prostitute comes to love an assassin, both fall in love over and over again despite many obstacles in their way :,)

~ my favorite psychological bl i've read so far, and one of my new faves in general. i read 50+ chapters in a day, i think that goes to show how much i enjoyed this. the small details in this story really shaped the plot and made me appreciate the characters even more. it broke my heart that kister's dream was to become a leading actor, and everything he's done was for jonathan's sake. he played his role well, without any breaks in character, in order to protect the one he likes and to put an end to his twin's killing spree. it's ironic how everything came full cirlcle (kister got the biggest role of his lifetime), and i think it's one of the first times that i don't see any plot holes within the main plot. i honestly thought robert was gonna be an unnecessary obstacle in the plot, but i'm glad the author made him a SUPPORTING character instead of a rival. the tension that built up with each additional conflict made me anxious to see what would happen next. the climax (around ch. 60) hit me hard, i would have never suspected any of the twists the author included. from the twin being the actual killer, and kister being in love with jonathan since 2 years ago, to the cliff accident, nothing ceased to amaze me. baron was painted out to be the killer in the first half of the story, and i think it was an interesting move to make. i believe that it definitely captured my attention even more. each character didn't seem trustworthy, even jonathan's friends, and that added to the uneasy feeling i had while reading this. i couldn't help but picture myself in his situation, being chased by two killers and being held hostage, which made me even more captivated by how jonathan was able to handle this madness. i have a thing for wanting the main couple of psychological BLs to somehow end up together despite knowing the toxicity of the characters and story. i, in no way, support rape or abuse whether verbal or physical, irl or in manga. however, if the character has some trauma (often the epicenter of conflict in a psy. bl) seeing another person help them get through that and having an intriguing clash in personalities is something i really like seeing. an angel that plays the role of a "savior" or someone constant in their bleak life void of affection warms my heart, especially when they change for the better. that's why, i always root for these type of couples to be together in the end but i'm aware that irl, changing someone by yourself without (professional) help will often hurt you instead. because of how the plot unraveled, it made jonathan and kister's (potential, most likely will turn into lovers) relationship the most plausible. that's why i'm beyond happy with 'criminal interview' from beginning to end, and i'd definitely reread this one! hope there's side stories so we can see their life together and how they start anew :D

~ stayed up to read this, and wow. if harry and tessa from 'after' were a bl couple, they would be yeonwoo and keith. i would've loved to see yeonwoo stick to his original revenge plan, but sadly love makes people do stupid things. i could never be with someone who raped me, it's illogical. idk but the flow of their relationship was quite weird, and the sudden kisses just didn't fit the feeling of the scene. one thing that i did enjoy is that they are a SPICY couple. not necessarily when it comes to sex, but rather when they talk with each other. they have a lot of chemistry, which made this a page-turner. always something dramatic is happening lmao. it's such an odd bl that i can't even find the words to describe it. psychological? lying uke? possessive seme? toxic couple?

~ had potential if the ending wasn't so rushed and we got more backstory :(