idek's manga / #heavy(2)

last read 51. dark and depressing, fl is really sad, got no love, got no one. but she got a loyal guard who I think they're getting mutual love but that's a dead end cos she's tied to the suposid ml.. ml is so cold and heartless, he may care for her but he doesn't show it at all. idek if he likes her at all or if he's just against the guard staying cos it could ruin his plan.. prob that. I really don't think he possess such a thing as love. and he has made it clear that he's only using fl for her royal blood line to success into power. currently, fl discovered the sister she thought she poisoned is still alive and went to find and talk to her. I really don't feel like fl feels the joy or see the reason to live? she said she thought she would feel (?exhilarated?) when she rose above her sister, but instead? i think she feels dead inside, without anyone, without any care, feeling like a puppet, just an acting head when the other guy's the one in real power :( idek how this will turn out, will that guy love her? or will fl elope w the guard? (she mentioned she doesn't even fear of loosing that guy anymore, and she recently pawned her couple earing for money to buy bread) will she stay the empress or give the position to her sister? ooo the potential ;oh! and I swear, that younger brother (dogyeol) will bring trouble, he prob hates his older brother and maybe even the fl and will help fl to escape or something to throw his older brother's plan off , it's not a matter of it, it's when, but he'll betray.

Last read ch54. Akshsjshshs this.. ml is so twisted, I don’t think even I can handle it. I’m always suspicious about him even when his thoughts are revealed, it’s only at near 50s that I can kinda trust him? He truely likes fl…? Idk, his thoughts are too twisted but at least fl is the only one that makes him emotional, the one that he can’t live without. And he’s (very) possessive of her. They’re married and confessed to eo, even (finally) got intimate? So think their relationship is pretty stable? Tho her ex crush isn’t giving up lol. He was a sunny boy who turned into a playboy and now just a desperate boy, bye boy. Another webtoon that gets me antsy. Dark undertone/plot, just heavy. No fluff. Even when fluff is show (which was mostly at the start? Or nah?) I don’t fall for it cos he sus! He looks so fake and oh I just can’t believe him. Plus, I don’t like the dynamics of him calling her Miss or Lady, it’s putting a wall between them and she doesn’t like the associations of that word (since she isn’t a real wealthy girl and these people who call her Miss are the ones who took her in when her parents died and are the real wealthy ones). Would give this a 5 but it’s too dark and have me feeling unstable.