Himanshi's manga / #unrequited love(324)

It's just not the best writing tbh. I feel like if you want to make a story like this in six chapters, you really have to make your scenes count. Personally I think this would have benefited from more, but shorter scenes for the sake of the story. Longer scenes to convey a certain mood are great when you have a long time to tell the story, but in a shorter one it's going to take away from the things that really matter. So the problem isn't that this was too fast. It's in fact really slow for its format and feels disjointed because of that. And actually it should have been more fast paced, just with more story fit into those six chapters. Or it should have been a long form comic. As it is, we don't get enough story to explain the main character's choices and feelings in my opinion. If Dawn was unhappy enough to escape to Hames' place, why was he so willing to go back immediately, for an instance? I also feel like Dawn falling in love with Hames came a bit out of nowhere too. Additionally, while I can guess Dawn was conditioned not to question things, I wish we'd gotten more reasoning behind him not daring to talk to Hames about his parents. It feels so off that after 12 long years neither of them talk to each other. I can sort of get Hames more, because he thinks Dawn actually got to read the entire letter, but even so... why isn't he curious about the 12 years that passed? It's not that I think their actions are impossible, it's just that they lack substance and reasoning. Some of it you can read between the lines, but not enough. Also we don't get to see why Dawn was saved from the fire? Was it Hames that saved him? And in that case, why was he even there? Or was it just some rando saving him and then Hames was just there when he woke up? There were also some style inconsistencies I feel were a poor choice; this was supposedly a very heavy and serious comic based on the concept and colours, so it's pretty jarring when chibis and heart effects suddenly appear during the last sex scene. It makes it harder for me to take it seriously, and because the sillyness of those things doesn't fit with the rest of the comic, it makes it feel... cheap. But with all of that said, most of the scenes themselves are great. The first scene with Hames coming over with the letter and the maid burning it is really well made for an instance. It's just that there should have been more substance, really. And the face off with delterm was anticlimatic

Chapter 3 the fathers of the main characters their story was very saddening and I didn’t quite liked the end of it but if things didn’t go into this order their kids wouldn’t grow up … idk I liked it thought but wanted to know what and who was the girl with the tails and ears that appeared in the parents story

I'm having mixed feelings. It was quite sweet and good but u know ML approached MC just because he smelled like his dead husband, ig MC will be the substitute for choi eugene. Also Honestly, I thought the content of the envelope was an ultrasound photo but I guess an acceptance letter is better. I mean everything screams "IT'S NEVER TOO LATE" never to late to find love and dream.

I want to point out that it’s understandable what Aya felt about the situation, wanting some time because she couldn’t get the thought of Kazuma and Sayaka being together in any way despite nothing actually being consensual but I think she should have thought more about Kazuma and what happened to him. He was drugged and Sexually Assaulted. Buuut, again, communication seems the be the #1 thing that couples struggle with. He should not have kept Sayakas actions before they got married and after a secret. He knew they were friends and just accepted that one of Ayas close friends tries to backstab her. Other than all of that, I’m pretty satisfied with the ending.