sonny's manga / #Jealous Seme(1)

To be honest I didn’t like Kotani much but my feelings towards him began to change around when he stood up for Shishikura during the mixer. But, man, he is just the worst. Shishikura, though he can dish it out as good as he’s served, is willing to swallow his pride and admit his feelings for Kotani, but Kotani’s grudge blinds him from his own feelings and they manifest as petty acts of jealousy that only push Shishikura further away. And what’s worse is that he’ll project his emotional immaturity onto Shishikura, accusing him of being naive for taking his actions at face value. Though Shishikura has a habit of intentionally provoking this jealous side of him, too. He has difficulties communicating, they both do, and with their myriad of differences, they’re prone to conflict. Kotani specifically isn’t very mindful of Shishikura and has a particularly blunt way of doing things that don’t allow for his input and tries to solve everything with sex. But it’s endearing how they love each other despite that! Neither of them know how to be a partner to the other yet! These things take time! They’re still learning how to effectively communicate, how to work through their differences. And Kotani is progressively becoming more aware of Shishikura in his own way. When you love someone you have to be willing to be vulnerable, to let yourself be hurt so you can mend those wounds and come out of it with a better understanding of each other. I do wish there was a bit more hesitation in Kotani’s confession, though. And I know there’s a chapter or two missing so I hope Kotani’s reasons for not wanting to get married are revealed, otherwise his agreeing to just the ceremony feels like he’s only trying to please Shishikura and not actually taking how he feels into account. With the way Kotani is, it’s not realistic that he’d be the one to reach out to Shishikura to fix things but I wish he would. More often than not, it’s his crass way of handling things that causes problems, though he does end up apologizing first i wish it wasn’t always the responsibility of Shishikura to initiate their make-ups. I also wish Kotani’s otaku side was more prevalent. like maybe he’d make off-hand references that Shishikura doesn’t understand or something.