the story hit me like a train. "hurt people, hurt people", the story goes with two main character, yui and nii-chan. when he was in elementary school they used to play together in nii-chan apartment, beside that nii-chan start make yui as his sexual object. he still a child but nii-chan want to make sex with him, and because yui is still a innocent little kid he doesn't know anything about sex yet he agreed of nii-chan treat him like his sexual object, and because yui's parents always work they didn't have much time and yui always goes to nii-chan apartment, when nii-chan want to sodoms him, yui god scared and run to his parents and his parents confortating nii-chan and called him pervert and after since that day they never meet again.
several years later they meet again, yui now is a high school boy, they develop his feeling and instead of running away from nii-chan he confessed that he loved him. and of course nii-chan want to take advange of him. he treat yui as his sex object again, raped him, sodoms and do tough sex with him + choked him. even though yui feel there's something wrong with nii-chan and he doesn't enjoy everything that nii-chan done to him, he always have spirit that he loved nii-chan.
one day, yui's friend confessed to him, she's a girl and they dating for a while because yui don't want to look like he's different and he don't want to everyone know that he's a gay. short story after that, because there's something wrong with yui [because nii-chan always treating him bad and make him as him slave], the girl ask him whats wrong and after that yui tell her what have nii-chan done to him. the plot twist here is that actually, that girl know who nii-chan is. nii-chan is a victims of the girl's father sexual object [very much pedophilia] and nii-chan projecting yui as his younger self.
at first i hate nii-chan so much because he do something inapproved, he raped a child and manipulating him and sexual assault him + he's a pedophilia, what could be worse? but then, when i learn about his past and his childhood trauma, nii-chan is actually a victims too.
the girl's father raped him and do sexual things with him and he's still a child and he doesn't know what sex is. he craving loved and carrying and attention, so he willing do everything to be rewarded with that kind of love. so he start develop his feelings and loved the girl's father, but one say that old man had a daughter [which is the girl who is being friend with yui] and he feel rejected, neglecting and avoiding, he feels like the old man just throw him.
and nii-chan family knows that he was a gay and have a sex with an old man, but intead of saved him and take him to therapist to healing that wounds his family says that it was cursed and he was so much full of it and he must to be clearing that cursed by some ritual shit that end up hurting him and make him trauma + the way people from society starring at him and talk bad things behind his back make it worse.
and he project his sadness, his trauma, his wounds, his tragedy and his agony to yui. but after all, in the end they been together and trying to accept themself. yui loved him and he make statement that "you're full of flaws and after everything the person who can accept you and forgive you and loved you is me" says you, so after that they been together.
but i'm not sure yet how long they will be together because nii-chan [after disconect with his family] he became smoker and drink pills everyday. he's depressed and i hope he will works on it and find his happines, same as yui.
the only villain in this story is the old man. how can you do that to a such a little kid. you don't know how much you damaged people and traumatize people, maybe you'll died and leaving this world but the way you ruined someone's life and changed them is never be over. they still carried all the things you have done all the things that make them traumatize because of you.
this story is a great masterpiece yet it's painful and full of sadness and darkness. it's disgusting and disturbing for some people but when you got this, you really got this. it's so deep and it is reallu sad, after i read this, i staring at my door and reflecting all the character. good job for the author, harada. such a great masterpiece.
Nii-chan (harada)