n000ds's manga / #Psychological(24)

chptr. 5 // 05.01.19

// COMPLETED //

// COMPLETED // extra. 3 // 10 décembre. 2019

// COMPLETED // 7,5 // 16 janvier. 2021 i think their coming together happened too fast they definitly needed more grownth and developpment as well as work on their traumas but im just glad they’ve got each other

// COMPLETED // 6 // 24 juin. 2020

// COMPLETED // 67 // 8 août. 2020 what are they gonna say to each other one ? are they gonna try to reach their dream happiness ir just tear and kill each other again ? at the start no doubt that i was on D’s side, it didn’t feel like he dis anything to deserve getting kidnapped and raped numerous times. while reading i came to have some doubt but at the end stayed on my beliefs. as i got to know the past however, i still didn’t think he deserve all of this for manipulating J in highschool but, my heart really just shattered. bad timing, no communication on what was important, D needing to say what was going on on his life and what made him insecure and J knowing and maybe trying to understand it, not force himself in order to stay by D’s side only to end up saying that he regret it and that it disgusted him, thing that he regretted saying for 9years, their dangerous and toxic dependance on each other. at some point all i felt was heartbreak, while seeing how happy they both were while young, while looking at D being in love and confortable with J, at hiw he truly cared. the alternative world where they would have grown up with each other and tries to be happy was so colorful... not perfect but they tried and seemed genuine... obly to go back to the dark circles and grey colors when D woke up... na i wasn’t expecting to have so much compassion for both of them, to want they to work on their problems and get to their happiness together. i hoped that at J awakening at the hospital they would finally talk it out, about moving on while not forgetting the past but taking lessons from it... and it only made me realise that it may not be possible, that J may always try to kill D at any time and now im crying i love them i want them to be happy D already led such a shity life he deserves it if he wants it to be with his teenage only love that kidnapped him 9years later and abused him so be it, this doesn’t look like the Stockholm Syndrome from up close nor from far, he seems to know what is going on and doesn’t delude himself and i must admit that J also has a bit of my heart, god knows i despised him some times and that i had a hard time trying to understand him but i just knew that there was something behind it i just can’t hate him after seeing them together in highschool and how he attempted to try for the batter before his suicide attempt. when D left the hospital room i was like « J UR GONNA REGRET TELLING HIM TO GO FOREVER *SOB* » now i’ll see what will happen, but i’m not losing hope just yet. someone said that it’ awell written fucked up story, and i couldn’t agree more. chptr. 72 how WHOLESOME can those side character get

// COMPLETED // vol. 2 chptr. 8,5 // 6 août. 2020 reading this again 2years later it gave me a complete different feeling than the first time. at first i thought this was gloomy, grey and felt weird however now that i’ve grown a bit and matured some more, natsume’s sister haru didn’t feel like a heartless bitch nor a monster that i wanted to punch. she’s a commun character with expected reactions. she fell in love and got engaged to Tougo really young, she was still somewhere in highschool. Her love was childish, new and brutal for her to fell for the first time (as first love’s are) so of course being near death and seing him fall in love with her sister she couldn’t wish them to end up happily ever after, she wasn’t mature enough and it’s actually quite normal for her age ? she didn’t look evil and thus, i don’t think the curse would be effectiv. our lovebirds can have their good ending. another thing i felt was that natsume san’s love wasn’t what she thought it was. haru was her only family to her, « they only had each other » and when a man came in the picture she felt like her only someone was taken away, she didn’t hate him the more time passed and wished him bad everyday, only at the start when she felt robbed, however it was never in a sense of a lover getting stolen away. i felt that Touga loved natsume way more that what was showed and i wished he had told her, because the gap was way too adorable to be kept. i don’t think he would have been fine marrying Haru, making kids and living a commun life, since he only looked at natsume and felt alive with her or around her (wich led haru to have hateful thougts) i think he wouldn’t have been able to ignore his feelings for her as he thinks he would have and it would have created such a beautiful and emotional mess that it conforts me in his thoughts. this was actually really down to earth and i would die to have more snippets of their lives together.

// COMPLETED // 300 + ep // 15 janvier. 2021