Aja's manga / #sequel(105)

I don't really get my own attachment to this story. Every time I read it, I feel like I come to understand the characters and their relationship better, which makes me dislike the both of them even more hahaha. Imagase is whiny, pessimistic bordering on manic depressive, and seems to be forcing his idealistic desires on Kyouichi and refuses to see what kind of person Kyouichi really is. Kyouichi is...well, he thinks he goes with the flow too much, but I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing in of itself. It turns bad because then he starts overthinking, second guessing himself, and regretting his indecisiveness. He won't just let himself enjoy himself without doubting his own feelings and his ability to love "like a gay man". This is just my humble opinion, but I hink the definition of where you define love is different for everyone. The way he holds himself to some non-existent standard of what love should be sounds like an excuse for him to ignore his feelings, in my opinion. I also hate how he draws such lines between loving a man versus loving a woman. It seems to me that we should just worry about loving people, because you can't always draw such clear differences (emotionally) between the genders, and all members of one gender aren't the same either! Every person is different, and I think he also leans the gender difference as a crutch for why things just can't work out. (I'm not saying that there aren't differences between the genders, but even if there are, they can't be blamed for everything in their situation, which Kyouichi seems to think they can.) And then Kyouichi and Imgase together just seems like one of the most miserable relationships I've seen, because both of them just seem not only prepared for the worst, but expecting it. I don't get how that is a pleasant existence. But yet I keep coming back. I think that is a testament to the great storytelling. I hate the characters, and I hate them together even more, but the author really manages to really pack an emotional punch that draws me back to read it again and again.