Private Magician
Hatsukoi Wa Gunjou Ni Tokeru
Okayyy… After reading this, I saw that I had already actually rated it four stars before. I guess my impression from before isn’t as good as the second time I get to read it. This is actually a very fulfilling story. The introductory chapters somehow gave me a slow and heavy vibe, but midway I really fell into loving the story and the pair. An ML like this is rare, and a flow like this even rarer in BL mangas nowadays. They are all about showcasing three things: passion, pasSION, and PASSION. So this one is even more enjoyable because it’s only one of its kind that I’ve encountered. Some moments really were very relatable, and others really resonated with their tenderness. ML was so emotionally caring that he was willing to remain by MC’s side even if it might mean never to have intercourse at all, settling for a platonic relationship. He also understands without MC saying it what to do: for instance, he didn’t hit that motherfucking rapist, because MC had trusted ML with that truth he’s been carrying, and getting himself(ML) hurt because of the truth (that MC provided) would have betrayed that trust. The last thing that MC seemed to want is to make him even more troubled - and ML already injured his shoulder so that would be bad. These two just seem to be on the same page. I love how reconciled feelings were conveyed through themes of tenderness: that is, when ML understood completely the struggle of MC without saying it but by enduring his own love for him and exerting self-control, and when he cried because of feelings of frustration, as if he was taking in the pain that MC has borne by himself for a long time. But he didn’t rage, he endured it, and I think that’s more meaningful because that’s exactly what MC had done - endured it - and they were connected in this moment somehow. Just. There’s fulfillment in this story. I just haven’t organized my thoughts about it so my review is kind of messy. Anyway, I’m changing my rating to five star.
5-nin no Ou