Lauvil's manga / #Trauma(45)

Uke came out to his best friend in Middle school but ended up getting severely hurt, when his friend called him "disgusting" and outed him to the whole school, resulting in him being bullied and isolated. In high school he's completely withdrawn into his shell and stays away from other people, in fear of getting hurt. A playboy from his class then learns about his being gay, and threatenes the uke into becoming his "sex friend" in return for his silence. Thus begins a cycle of rape and blackmail, that then, some fucking how, turns into love. You can't even call it a psychological story, because it has a "happy" ending with rapist and victim being in a "loving" relationship. Romantisized rape is just uncomfortable...

In the beginning, I really liked this story. It had angst and sexual tension, which I'm a sucker for. Our FL has PTSD. She's been a slave, attempted raped multiple times, she doesn't know the language of the world she's in, she's lost friends, and now she's alone. Our ML is a lone wolf, after he committed the crime of murdering a Bishop (with good reason, though) and has been expelled from the paladin order he was a part of. He's in a dark place too, yet he can't forsake his own noble/honourable nature and gives in and takes the FL under his wing, when she clings onto him after he saved her. The story itself seemed a bit over the top (with all the rape attempts) but it had potential for a lot of drama. However... Right now I'll have to put it on hold. The past two chapters have been brain-meltingly stupid. How she had the thought "maybe this is just an Inn. He seems honourable and he's been treating me well so far", yet still goes back to the conclusion that he's trying to sell her, is beyond me. Her actions, as well, make no sense. She could've just opened the door and run out, but instead she decides to assault her "captor". She's not even sure, and is having doubts to whether or not he has malicious intent. And if he did, the option of assaulting him seems way more risky than just running away while he's distracted. Wtf. Also, if she's so hellbent on the idea that he is trying to harm her, why would she still want to follow him and cling onto him when he leaves the room? Like, author please. At least have your characters be consistent. I just don't know where this is going, and whether it'll get any better, or if it will be a gigantic waste of time to continue it...