bokutotiddies's manga / #i teared up(7)

heres the thing. i hate this already. im like 2 chapters in and its not bc its not a good story i can just tell its gonna hurt me. maybe ill love it idk. but my heart is HEAVILY guarded bc i can just feel its gonna suck. not the plot, again, but the outcome of it. i know jowoon is endgame. so at least ik who not to get attached too right but still. im scared. ok imma go back to reading. joowon seems like kind of an asshole but i like him anyways LOL. this story has an interesting way of making me feel like im in a toxic relationship of my own. which i was, so its literally me just relating to everything. as someone whos been in a toxic relationship before, haesoo's thoughts are painfully relatable. man this shit is so good tho. the "toxicity" is addicting just like a toxic relationship is. its incredible for a story to make you feel that way about characters you barely know. im at 36 and yknow, its hard to really explain my feelings in words but i still like joowon better. taekyung is interesting and honestly the more attractive to me out of the two but i cant like his personality tbh. hes not a victim of all this either bc hes interjecting himself in a relationship that has no room for anyone else on purpose. joowon has issues for sure and its bc of the fact that he evades communicating honestly that their relationship is like that but his feelings are genuine and i can see that he wants to have something real with haesoo but just cant bc of the circumstances. it all hits too close to home and i just see myself too much in haesoo. as someone who enjoys photography, the artistic shots and every chapter cover photo are sooooooooooo gorgeous im so fucking obsessed. i love this shit so much. i might not be rooting for taekyung but i love his pictures so much. i really like his view on things too. hes very laid back but also super introspective. i just wanna say, taekyung pushes every single right button. like he says ALL THE RIGHT THINGS for someone like haesoo or i. i really like how he talks to haesoo tbh. haesoo and joowon are my babies at this point. i love them sm and i think theyre both a couple of idiots but i truly want them to work this out and the happiness that i couldnt. i hope they get it together soon bc im really tired of haesoo having to rely on taekyung instead. pls joowon, just be fucking honest. chapter 58: ughhhhhh it hurts. it hurts sm. joowons at least being fucking honest but haesoo still isnt. fuck i mean ig i understand why but fuck. what the fuckkkk. im so sad for both of them. mainly joowon. i dont get what could happen at this point for haesoo to change his mind. i really hope it isnt like "taekyung chose his career over me so ig ill make shit work with joowon" type of thing. doubt it will be but still. fuuuuck. i have a headache and i cant tell if its bc of this or not. JOOWONNNNN :((((( bb. ik u wont but you really should consider finding something new and starting fresh. sigh this rejection and humiliation doesnt suit you at all. i wish you could move on. yknow WHAT i say that im on joowons side and all but taekyung prescene and impact is so huge like he rly does be stating absolute FACTS. i really hope he serves as the catalyst for them to both change their ways. yknow. what this really gives me anxiety about tho is the fact maybe ill never be able to completely move on and forget everything. just like haesoo cant even when hes had the perfect night with the perfect guy in a perfect relationship. its hard to forget the first person who made you feel so alive. in that sense, i wish he would just move on from joowon but truthfully i dont at all. its the way that haesoo imagines joowon to be at some grand event dressed up and having the time of his life when hes actually alone at home thinking about haesoo and inches away from hitting rock bottom. sigh. why does it all have to be so hard. i hate watching haesoo and taekyung fuck. its horrible to me. ugh. i just realized they never made a character serve as the purpose of making haesoo jealous for joowon and its kind of a shame. i want him to realize how miserable he'd be if joowon put him in the same situation right now. but then again its situations like that which lead them to this fuckin disaster of a relationship. joowon u stupid cutiepie you. i hate you but nowhere near much i love you. mina best girl btw, shes great and funny i wanna be just like her. if hes got nothing else by the end of this at least taekyung has some great friends by his side :,). ahhhhh. im finally done. after countless hours and almost 4 days. probably the longest ive spent reading a manhwa fs. i loved it but i also didnt. im definitely happy with the ending and ofc as an avid joowon stan i never wavered for even a second but it was rough to see taekyung and haesoo in a relationship for so long. they really didnt have much chemistry at all imo. its like what happens when two introverts are together, just so much overthinking and little actual payback. that said, joowons a manipulative and condescending lil bitch for an extrovert sometimes. its ok tho he suffered enough. ive said this before but i relate heavily to haesoo and his character gave me a lot of comfort in a sense. a lot of feelings that ive had felt validated by him and i wanted him to do better for himself. its like yelling at urself basically. overall it was definitely a very emotionally exhausting story and i had to take tons of breaks, read a few comforting stories inbetween and do a lot of analysis and comparisons to my own life while reading. i enjoyed it though. i do want to reread, especially to save the beautiful cover art and appreciate the art a second time but idk if i could go thru the whole taekyung parts again and joowon being pitiful scenes. ive never experienced smut as rewarding as the final sex scene. after everything they went thru, it was well needed and so well done. for the things i didnt like - first of all, the timeskip. i hate that shit, and tho i understand why their characters needed a break from e/o or whatever it made no sense to me that they lived apart for 3 whole years and only now really started a proper relationship. two, the fucking note that joowon wrote. fucking DUMBASS. it was so sweet and honest and it woudlve been fucking perfect but that absolute blockhead ripped it up before it got to haesoo. im so mad. i had anxiety that he wouldnt ever see it and then it actually happened. fucking hell. tbh this got to me the most. third, i wanted them to communicate more. i can obvi tell that haesoo is abundantly happy with joowon and hes super open and shares all parts of his life w him now which is lovely but idk i just want them to be mushy and honest about their feelings for once. they cant just rely on 'i love you's forever to get across all their feelings uknow? ugh these two really do just think too much. relatable tho. anyways yeah idk 10/10 whatever. oh i should say - this is beautifully written. i dont even know how its by the same ppl as fools. fools was also great but it had no where near this kind of depth and realism. i feel like the author MUST have experienced a toxic relationship themselves or smth bc sheesh it called me out way too often. everything was defined so well and the analogies were so interesting and sometimes kinda funny. the characters have SO mcuh depth to them and its apparent from the moment u meet all of them. this whole story just has a life of its own really and thats what sucks you in so easily. good shit, truly.

im abt to go off. this was so fucking GOOD. FINALLY SOME GOOD FUCKING FOOD. so SO good. i love the character so so much they are so sweet and in love w each other and i actually teared up like twice while reading this. kaoru has my entire heart. he is such a kind soul and i feel so bad for him. the whole soulmate thing w that woman literally crushed me and made me so upset. im so glad they were able to get past all that and haru san is the persistent puppy seme he is and was able to convince kaoru to not leave him again. it made me so sad everytime he did try to leave but i also entirely understand his insecurities and cant blame him the slightest. the art is so so lovely and development is so fucking nice and i even found the third volume on a discord page (thank GOD for that one comment) and im just so happy after reading this. i spent the better part of the day reading it but it was so worth, such a sweet story i loved to bits and pieces. 15/10

bro. i fucking cried reading this LMAO. like i know its not that deep but mannnn i cant take it. hes so fucking sweet and to think that hes lived a life of anxiety and pain like that, it just hurts so much to think about. fuck those kids and ppl who have made his life so hard. ugh. i really liked that they called out the seme on his "caring suggestions" bc they rubbed me the wrong way too. i hate more than anything when ppl tell you how much or how little you've tried for something, without actually knowing anything. like shut the fuck up unless you're in the same situation. and even then, you have no right to tell me what i "need" to do. whatever im glad they pointed that out. 8/10 but it deserves a 5 star honestly

sigh this was such SUCH a good isekai manhwa. ugh wow. i love it. it felt like it flew by even tho it took me literally forever to read. but man i loved them all so much that scene where they had to say goodbye killed me. and i instantly teared up when the little monster showed up again. icb the word "kyu" brought me to tears LMAO. he was the star of the entire show whatta scenestealer. perat made me SO sad bro this man rly does deserve better but its okay bc i think hes written to be w the princess that likes him in the new version of the story. and vasser was so cool, the whole author being isekaied concept is fascinating and its so much better than just osme rando getting sucked into a fictional plot. i love the idea so much and it consistently had me wondering what would happen next and stuff. i LOVE kyte so much man hes like one of my fav mls that ive ever read. their relationship was GREAT. like the chemistry was off the charts and the development there was everything i swear. im honestly pretty sad its over i was hoping there would be more after the reunion :,) 10/10

oh my god so many things to say. i adore both of them so much. at first i really didnt like yoonseul and thought he was super selfish and i was hoping he would end up repenting for all that but i wasnt expecting thiS LEVEL OF ANGST LIKE GODDAMN. i literally teared up at the end bc of how much he was going through just to confess his love to joon. like. i almost turned on joon (an actual sweetiepie who is probably the only reasonable character and i actually really admire his resolve and dignitiy) bc i felt so bad for yoonseul. i dont think ive ever agreed w an author more when they said their three fav keywords were beauty, regret and unrequited love. i have found my type of author hehe. and i LOVE the "regretful ex lover" trope so much. its reminiscent of bj alex actually. but this rendition is so much more satisfying bc joon didnt give in within like 5 mins and actually made him ~suffer~. it was almsot too much angst like i was dying for him to be forgiven. he truly made up for his mistakes yanno. i came to love yoonseul so much tho hes so pretty and honestly his thought process is actually very realistic and two dimensional. also his jealously is TOP NOTCH. like his constant possessiveness is turned on the exact button within me that i wanted. anyways im so excited abt s2 being mature oof.