anxiety's manga / #ANGST(39)

figuring out sexuaolity!

DRAMA BUT KEEP IT LIGHT + BEST COMEDY IVE BEEN DYING OVER HERE but its also made me feel SO many things. mental illness and bullying explored in depth!!!!! ugh all the characters actually have substance and honestly i binged this. it was a page turner from the beginning where you get hooked on the humour, the characters and it strings you along for their stories. just perfect. they overcome obstacles together; though these are 19 year olds, there is so much maturity.

OK THE WRITING AND PANNELING HAS NO BUSINESS BEING THIS FUCKING FUNNY WOOJIN MVP I DONT EVEN CARE THIS MAN IS CARRYING THE MANHWA also uke is a fucking king oh my god

OKAY REREAD THE WHOLE THING DEC 22 AND HOOOOOOOOOOLY SHIT. WHAT THE FUCK. THIS SHIT IS BUCK WILD. yutaka is a closeted and thus cowardly gay who wants to protect his image at all cost, and we see in the beginning that his relationship with a man is rocky and in the middle too, where this man mentions that yutaka says "i dont dislike you" so we see a selfish dude. he accepted this man who needed to understand that this was strictly a relationship to be kept under wraps, hidden away. man is unsatisfied and presumably this is why they break up, but its not said explictly (probably because their relationship was never that good or important to begin with). enter kei, yutaka's breath is taken away by his beauty. enamoured, and also by the strength he displays. he takes him into his boxing gym, and kei accepts simply bc he needs a place to stay and this is very pragmatically safe (no $ or checks, free rent and food, wtvr). unfortunately starts off with r4pe but yutaka ends up falling in love with kei and kei reciprocates. the misundertandings between them is realistic - kei means everyting he says (he has cptsd for sure, flashbacks are done really well, and i'd say on the spectrum too) and concludes that he cannot afford to lose or else yutaka will throw him out, since yutaka prioritizes kei's career as a boxer and wants to not put any pressure on kei. y also assumes k doesn't or cannot reciprocate his love, but how much is that y deciding to abandon so that he cant be abandoned lol? kei's condition worsens as he understands that his livelihood and access to kei depends on his victory. he just needs to be told what to do and deliver. he starts throwing up whenever he's alone (mental illness!) and yutaka finally understands why his form and cardio has been so bad. they attempt to have passionate sex but are caught by tomoya, someone who has been egged on by evil colleague to doubt yxk. dude thinks k is raping y and rightfully berates him and tells him to gtfo - so k does for the sake of y, and is then caught up in a cult/gang making waves. his brother is involved and oh boy you're not ready. so kou his brother killed their father, and ended up desiring his brother bc of what he saw their father doing to him. choi (cult leader) only brought in kei because he wants kou to remain by his side, but kous head is filled with his brother. yutaka grows immensely as k goes missing, coming out to tomoya and clearing up the misunderstanding and asserting himself! tomoya accepts them, and helps y search. randomly ykx happen on each other and have makeup sex but bc was told theres a wiretap (theres actually more) kei is like no i gtg meet again here next week. however the cult concocts a plan to fuck the gym over and kei does research to unmask that its a phony thing. this is exactly what they wanted, to demonstrate that keis betrayal is complete and actually offer kei the chance to go back to yutaka if he stabs himself w a 8 inch dagger - whether he lives or dies is luck. kei doesnt hesitate, and the chp ends by his emo child self declaring exuberantly that he wants to "give his everything to yutaka" whom he is supposed to meet later ............ bruh. i swear if this isnt a happy ending ................. wow, top tier story. characterization is immaculate; kei is completely dissociate due to selling himself at such a young age and growing up in an abusive environment (mother abandoned family, alcoholic father (who assaulted him?) and older brother who sold him) and we get to see what goes on inside hid mind -- his different selves that are all kids, understandably so, and the emotional, warped reasonings are perfectly portrayed. trainer was struggling with his feelings of love for kei; he felt alone thinking kei would not understand his feelings of love. realistic, impeccably done. kei leaves the gym and dorm because his peer happened upon he and yutaka having sex -- which aligns with what he believed -- and gets roped up in a crime family through his brother ...

oh my god. binged. incredible pacing, characterization, paneling/storytelling. skylar - in love with his childhood best friend, minwoo, who is homophobic. kisses m, m revolts and lays a trap for s. bullying and ostracization ensues, at one point he even gets r4ped aND MINWOO IS JUST STANDING BY DOING NOTHING AND IN FACT SUGGESTED IT. s's mom enlists him for some conversion therapy shit and moves their family away where no one knows him. there, skylar falls for chan-il because he actually sees minwoo in him (but he's actually a sweet angel) and is attempting to resolve the lacks/mistake in his relationship w minwoo through chan-il. honestly heartbreaking because chan-il is a veritable sweetheart. enter cirrus, who is curious about homosexuality. he catches skylar taking pictures of chan-il and blackmails him, initially just to have fun, but then it devolves into something more complex. needing, or indeed wanting something from skylar. he's yet to understand, but it does coalesce around homosexuality. also, skylar is the only one who is aware of how cyrus really is - he has a mr perfect persona that he maintains all the time, presumably because of his family situation. his father is rarely home, and married this parasitic woman who lives with c. c has a dog cotton candy that is the only semblance of family he seems to have, and is inordinately attached to the dog. cirrus' mom dies, father unable to handle a very dysregulated child, meets someone new and his step-mother is kind of cold/should not be a parent eg wont greet him/pretend no one is home when cirrus comes home and care more abt her pet parrot than she does cirrus - he also experiences another kind of abandonment from his auntie (presumably mom's sister) who is also now unreachable by phone number. she reaches out to him later but in the moment of crisis when he tried to call her i think that was enough to signal to him that he cant rely on her. teacher catches on that cirrus is really neglected, takes him to zoo for a parent day assignment (write abt event you did for parents day or something) and it goes well; cirrus is validated and his feelings of possessiveness show ("i have him all to myself" during this reading and writing summer class) but teacher turns out to be a p3doph1l3....not depicted thankfully but clear indication that csa occurred....he puts his hand on cirrus shoulder and he the way cirrus is drawn is something you know well; trying to maintain appearance of normalcy but dying on the inside. he pees himself and step-mom shows up instead of his dad and they get into tussle bc shes embarrassed - she does ask if something happened at school but he doesnt trust her