If You Hate Me So
15, (33, extra7)), ((36, side 10.1)(conf, sorry)), 48 (=side 17),
Totally Captivated
Some elements of the story were quite good but it was just too toxic. The seme is extremely controlling, rapey, threatening, uses gaslighting and blames the uke for everything. In the beginning he was the uke's boss but even after and when they are in a relationship he continues to order him around. It was also a really weird aspect of the seme sleeping with his step father since he was a child (as a sort of gratitude for picking him up from the streets). In a way I guess I like that it's different because it's the seme who is in that position when it's usually the uke, and while it wasn't explicitly shown it seemed the be implied that the seme was the bottom in that "relationship". It was however not really adressed how the seme felt about it, which is a pity, both a wasted opportunity for something different and it also left a lot of questions. The father also isn't punished for praying on a child. I also hated the double standards of the seme. He is extremely controlling and possessive when it comes the the uke and blows up over the smallest things, saying he's gonna punish the uke, lock him up in a cage, kill his friends etc. But when he himself continuously slept with his "father" and LIED about it to the uke's face, the uke never got even an apology. He didn't even seem to think there was anything wrong with it.
Behind the Scenes(monologue)
I LOVE this!! There is a lot of angst, but in a good way, and the characters emotions come across very well. They are all deep, well rounded complicated characters and you really start to feel for them. Their interactions and developments makes sense and never feels rushes, illogical or like some cheap plot device. There are some complicated entangled relationships but I would say there are two couples and I actually love both of them. Quite funny actually. A toxic simp simping for another toxic simp simping for a cute cinnamon bun who is starting to catch feelings for anther cute cinnamon bun. The first couple (the cinnamon buns) were just so wholesome. I love how much of a fanboy the seme was. I was afraid he was gonna turn resentful or toxic at some point as that has happened in other stories but he remained a sweet cinnamon bun and extremely kind and devoted to the uke. I just love seeing a seme who admires and deeply respect his uke, as it is normally the other way around. The second couple was also very good. Started out toxic, mainly from the some's part, but I just loved seeing them overcome it. There was a really satisfying redemption arc. In general there were some toxic behaviour but it was addressed very well and not just skipped over. Very satisfying redemption arcs where they truly regret their actions, apologise and change for the better. I actually love redemption arcs, which is why I've read some toxic stories, but if they never change or apologise it just makes me mad. But this had such beautiful developments.
Tenshi no Sasayaki wa Akuma wo Otosu