Beachloves's manga / #abuse(5)

Wow... well... I want to start off with the positive. The art style is beautiful, and the sex scenes are drawn well and are passionate. The seme is shorter and than the urk, and is more emotionally invested in the relationship. Both of these things go against "the norm" in the BL genre and I think that diversity is always a positive so in both of those categories I would give it 5 stars. But.... The story is extremely frustrating. The urk was very unlikeable to me. ***Spoilers*** I understand that the realtionship between the urk and his abuser was a difficult one to portray. However, there are probably close to 20 chapters of the urk and his abuser having hot steamy sex. And the urk masturbates to his abuser repeatedly. Leaving me upset and wondering if it was a good thing to romanticize this kind of violent relationship. Here's the deal, in the real world abusive relationships are complicated, and victims often love their abusers. According to statistics, on average it takes a victim leaving 7 TIMES! Before they stay away from their abuser for good. So in many ways, this story was a pretty accurate portrait of the psychological bonds that exist between victim and abuser. However, this story initially portrays itself as a rom-com. The tags associated and listings indicate almost a comedy with a cross-dressing manager? But it ended up being a very frustrating read about a victim of rape and abuse who should have been in the care of a mental health professional. And a young man who is unable to let go of his childhood love no matter how terribly he is treated, for 65 chapters! That's why for me this was a 3-star read.

*Revised after re-read 5 stars! I changed my initial review of this manga after reading it again, I now feel it is fully deserving of 5 stars, the art style is beautiful, the characters are all distinct and the story is very compelling. So if you haven't read it yet and don't want any spoiler discussion, go read it! :) ***Spoilers*** Why I initially had a lower review~ I will admit that part of my initial negative feelings were due to the fact that I don't like to read the summary or comments about a story before I read it because major plot points are often given away. However, while the summary says that "Yumi's boyfriend hits him..." I feel that even if I had read it I wouldn't have been prepared for the mature nature of the contents. At the time I was disturbed by the violent beatings that Yumi endured while having sex with his abusive boyfriend. This coupled with Kan-chan being made to be a victim with dialogue like "I know you're in love with somebody else..." Implying that Yumi's lack of sincerity in their relationship was partially to blame for Kan-chan's behavior. I know it's fiction, but it was frustrating the first time around, especially because I did not understand that the author was setting up Kan-chan to be a protagonist of a prequel "Azami," a sequel "Renai-rubi no Tadashii Furikata," and a follow up "Hadakeru Kaibutsu." Also from a different cultural perspective, I don't understand what the deal is with hating pity so much? It comes up a lot in manga and BL but I don't really get what the deal is? After looking up several definitions of pity and comparing it to my own social understanding I guess it's that they have so much pride they can't stand the thought of a person thinking they are experiencing hardship? Because somehow that's weak? Even though literally everyone on the face of the earth experiences hardship and we all experience it at different times and intensities so of course other people will sometimes be in more advantageous positions than yourself and sometimes it will be the reverse? You can see that as someone with not a lot of "pride" like Yumi it was hard the first time reading it to relate to him as a character. What changed~ When I came back to this I was looking to read an emotionally challenging mature BL drama. I was prepared to view a depiction of brutal sexual violence, and I knew that things ended well so I was more able to enjoy the ride. I was also able to understand Yumi better this time around. PSA:"on average, a victim of abuse will leave their abuser 7 times! Before finally leaving for good." Yumi is a victim of abuse. After re-reading this I was able to have more compassion for Yumi and his inability to leave his abuser. I was also able to understand that due to Yumi's feelings of helplessness from abuse, he might overcompensate in other areas to feel strong. Mainly not wanting to be pitied or coddled. Overall this was an excellent story that has really stuck with me. For its realistic depictions of the abuse victims face, to the gentle love that blooms in the undercurrent. If you made it all the way to the end of this, wow! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. :)

ugh it's good. But the only sex we see is the rape!? Like WTF? I wanna see consensual happy sex in the end. cockblock!