Mimi's manga / #actually cried(17)

I actually want to fucking scream. I've never... Related... To a character so hard like I did with Soushi when reading this. I'm not into metal or any of its variants, but reading him talking about how the metal music and intimidating look prevented people from talking to him hit me like a train. Seeing him dealing, growing, and how his social anxiety and possible AVPD kept him from conveying important shit or even living a goddamn life felt like I'd been thrown off a fucking plane. Seeing him trying to speak up made me cry more than once because I know... I know how that feels when you're on the verge of passing out because there's so much weight on you to speak. Coming from someone with AVPD and BPD and struggling with that constant tug-of-war of wanting to speak, wanting to make friends, and wanting to keep the friends you somehow made while so much of you is scared to do so at the same time fucking sucks. I've been that person starting from 5th grade that had a permeate depressing look, a permeate intimidating look just so people wouldn't come up to me. Hell, I still do! The moment I had with this book... Anyway, the story was great, I had an existential crisis, and I'm looking to buy this physically.

It's been awhile so I want to reread this and come back here

... Almost. I almost got through without crying. But I'm saying this in a mid to negative way because I don't think this story deserved my tears. I was excited coming into this because of Bokura wa Nando mo Koi o suru and how I cried so hard at the end of that story that I thought this would have me laid out on the floor the same way. To start I think it was a little confusing in the beginning who was saying what, how Nagisa felt about Kaito separate from Minato, how Kaito felt about Nagisa separate from Minato, and I'm not a fan of hate sex. Even though early on I had a feeling that Nagisa felt more than jealousy and envy towards Kaito, it was a confusing road getting there even after the festival. I wanted them to really talk more about them. Whenever there was "talking about them" it felt more like they were talking about them related to Minato rather than them related to each other. And while I can understand the conversation of them + Minato, because this is a love triangle plot, I think when they finally started to focus on them as a couple it was a little too late to get to know them as a couple. There were points toward the end that I thought was very sweet, really cute. Backstory stuff was more my favorite to read because you got to know the characters and how they felt about each other that you didn't get from the present day with the only thing missing was how Minato felt. There was one part of the flashback stuff where I did almost cried but not for the character, more so for the context around sharing a part of yourself only to be put down felt. But what actually broke me was the end with Minato's mom and his journal because as the flashbacks happened you had a feeling. You always knew. But to actually know his wish really messed me up even though I knew what it was!

I'm actually kinda mad they did that to me at the end. It's such a mid 3/5 stars type of manga, straight up took me from june to august to force myself to finish it. I didn't think this was bad or anything it just didn't get me to care that much about the two main characters but I also didn't want to dnf or put on hold another manga so I just sat on it... There are 2 moments in the last chapter along with the final 2 pages that fucking did me in, I couldn't stop cry laughing.

I was so put off in the beginning because of the art style. I didn't really like it that much and it kind of disinterest from continuing, but, honestly the first couple/story ended up being my most liked? I was worried about the tragic and bullying tags this had and thought it as gonna be one of those "character bullies the one they love" kind of thing. It wasn't that completely but I still was kinda 50/50 about the characters and stories. By the end I did end up liking one person. The only one that mattered, the reason I'm going to go down this hellhole of a spiderwebbed series-Natsuo. He is so innocent... I love him... so much. The second story was still "eh" but ok. I enjoyed it a lot more but I think that was because I was confused. I didn't know this was the third book in a series yet, btw. It wasn't as sad as I wished it was compared to the previous story, though. Speaking of sad! I did cry at the end of chapter 5. Thank you for giving me that, that's all I wanted from that couple.