Mimi's manga / #Trauma(8)

I honestly really enjoyed this. I thought some of the translation was weird but the overall story was nice. It focused more on one's past and characters' development rather than something like sex and I welcome that in BL manga.

Update 2: I read this before chapter 5 and the extra was added, but I don't think I'm going to update this again after this. Felt 50/50 about this book, but I kept thinking about two of the chapters way too much that I had to own it. I thought that this manga was mainly centered around fetishes but it seems like only ch.1 & the extra is about asphyxiation. The rest of the chapters I would consider extreme but not fetish-y. Personally feel that each story here would've been better as its own thing because it feels like Hidesato wanted to write more. I think ch. 3 and 5 (from what I've skimmed through the raws) don't have enough to be whole books so they fit fine here. However, chapter 1 can stand on its own. Chapters 2 and 4 NEED their own books. In fact, I don't think 2 and 4 belong here at all. They don't fit this book to me. My thoughts on each chapter: Ch.1 - Could've been a more interesting story. The asphyxiation thing isn't my thing so it was... interesting to read, but it being a short story wasn't a good move. Ch.2 - I talk about this further down in my 1st update. Ch.3 - Didn't really have a story and was kind of weird. This one negatively felt messy and all over the place. Ch.4 - Was not prepared to read that and it's never going to lead my mind. Update 1: Looking back on it, I honestly feel that chapter 2 might not need to change anything other than its homophobic dialogue since it doesn't add to the story. It just points out how horrible of a person the main character's girlfriend is... and that's it. I love studying psychology and mental disorders are a HUGE interest of mine and why I was drawn to chapters 2 and 4 the most. When I used to be in group therapy back in my teens I met someone with MPD/DID and their stories on living together in one body gave me a lot of context into what some people go through with MPD. While not the exact same experience as it was written in this story, it was very interesting to hear. Chapter 2 embodies a lot of similar feelings and experiences that they told me as well as another book I love called Many Minds One Brain by Christopher Badger where his experience was pretty close to what I just read in this manga. Whether or not the author meant for chapter 2 to read so disjointed that the reader is just as confused as someone with this disorder may be, I'm not sure. But seeing how well done and traumatic chapter 4 was written... I think so. I honestly want to see chapters 2 and 4 get full stories. Mainly chapter 4 where it takes place either during their high school or adult years and it's about the friend who you see in the story helping the mc deal with and heal from what happened and his Maladaptive Daydreaming. Even if it's just helping by being there and comforting him. You guys, I think about this chapter and its continuation potential way too much.

If I could scream to convey how much I loved this "main" story, I fucking would... But I don't think that would get my point across very well in text. Firstly, I love the main story. I cared a lot about both Itou and Kyousuke to the point where I could feel myself almost about to cry at some points. I have yet to read the prologue story (as of writing this) but, from what I read from one comment, both Itou and Kyousuke had hellish upbringings that (at least for Kyousuke) made me really want to see them be together. I was also ready to drop this title because I thought the problems I have with most bl manga were gonna be in this, but they wrote Ito to love Kyousuke so GOD DAMN MUCH and it made me really love him as a character. It made me love their relationship and how they showed that they needed each other. I was afraid that the rape and murder would be glorified like 90% of this landscape, but it is shown in a horrible light, being a story about how two people are trying to get out of these situations together. Fucking thank you! I also want to talk about the last 2 chapters a little. I think they were very important to the main story and I did actually cry during both of them with how they both completed and complimented the story to show you how they were living during them being "on the run" and after all the bullshit was over. God bless. Personally, I did not like the parallel story chapter. It is the reason I put pedophilia-ish as a tag. I am not here for older people "waiting" on an underage person to be of age because it means that they have feelings for this child even though they know they shouldn't. I don't care if you're 13 or 19, you are still a child until 20. And even then it doesn't really feel like you hit "adult" until 25+, but at least you're not a fucking teen. After falling in love with these characters, showing that Ito had feelings for the underage teenager but waiting until he was 18 is still really disgusting to me. There was even a comment he made about Kyousuke in freshman year that just fucked me up in the most disgusting of ways. Even though he waited till the bare minimum it still didn't feel ok to me and it was horrible no matter how sweet Ito was. Still horrible. Chap 7's review in 5 seconds or less: What the fuck? No.

Now that I read this prologue, I definitely recommend reading the first book first even though this comes before it in the story. Having read the first book put in so much context that having all that backstory and foreshadowing made me feel even more for everything that happened in this backstory. ... You ever just want to scream because you feel so emotionally attached to some fucking fictional characters? A part of me feels like I should have read this first before getting into Itou-san because it would have made it easier to read through kid!Itou and kid!Kyosuke's abuse. BUT the 1st book feels like an easier read compared to this that I think reading this in order of release gets you more invested in these characters. Like, by now, I found myself really emotional about the both of them... I wanted to die. What got me the most was reading through Kyosuke as a baby-baby, 5 YEARS OLD, having to go through what happened. It really reminded me of chapter 4 of Ore, Higaisha and, um... Yeah. I really just want to scream right now. Sorry, this one was a lot shorter than my feelings on the 1st book. Everything I felt there I still felt here.

... Ok. I've been putting off reading this for a bit because I remember being unsure about it but I don't know why. I remember seeing a good bit of low to negative ratings on this but I didn't read them because I don't want to know anything but what the tags tell me before going into a book... But I feel like I should've dropped this very early on. Like, the premise isn't bad, the art's fine, and there are even some points that are really sweet and emotional. But that all get's ruined by the fact that there are sex scenes with Yuki in his current mental state. Yes, I know that Tomohisa and Yuki are an established couple. Yes, I know this is a case of dissociative identity disorder. Where this gets weird and uncomfortable for me is that Yuuta, Yuki's personality, is a child and the author thought "Yeah, let's have Tomohisa & Yuuta have sex. It's still a grown man's body so it's alright, right?" and I'm honestly fucking livid about that. Not only is it weird but it's fucking disrespectful to people who deal with this personality disorder because it showed how they see a serious mental health issue. It could've been handled with so much care and display how much Tomohisa really loves and misses Yuki while also really treasuring Yuuta and wanting to keep them both safe. When you take out the sex from the present-day timeline it becomes a better story because that's the biggest problem. The saving throw for this not being 1 star or dropped mid-chapter 2 were the flashbacks. The flashbacks were the best parts in this. It was interesting enough that I wanted to know "why" and more about Yuki and his dad as well as wanting more of Tomohisa and Yuki's relationship. And even present-day wouldn't've been so bad as there were genuine heartwarming moments of Tomohisa caring for Yuki by treating Yuuta like his own child. Him really wanting Yuki back but also being afraid for his return and what would come next set fine with me. I think the reason for him worrying so much is a bit dumb since it comes down to defending himself and Yuki, but I understand from where he's standing in that situation. It just really does fall so flat for me at the end when Yuki wakes up and everything that follows because it tried to turn something uncomfortable to something wholesome by making it a family dynamic thing... with the looming knowledge that Tomohisa and Yuuta regularly had sex and, from what it sounds like in the extra chapter, still do... 2 stars feels very generous now that I think about.

I was so put off in the beginning because of the art style. I didn't really like it that much and it kind of disinterest from continuing, but, honestly the first couple/story ended up being my most liked? I was worried about the tragic and bullying tags this had and thought it as gonna be one of those "character bullies the one they love" kind of thing. It wasn't that completely but I still was kinda 50/50 about the characters and stories. By the end I did end up liking one person. The only one that mattered, the reason I'm going to go down this hellhole of a spiderwebbed series-Natsuo. He is so innocent... I love him... so much. The second story was still "eh" but ok. I enjoyed it a lot more but I think that was because I was confused. I didn't know this was the third book in a series yet, btw. It wasn't as sad as I wished it was compared to the previous story, though. Speaking of sad! I did cry at the end of chapter 5. Thank you for giving me that, that's all I wanted from that couple.

I hyped myself up too high with this one, lads. I don't regret reading this, I just went into this wanting more... tragedy. More angst, more hurt to balance the comfort. And the comfort wasn't that strong either but was more present than the hurt. I think the main characters are fine, them as a couple are cute, I love re-encounters, and the story was interesting to me. However, doing the timeskip thing where the first 3 chapters are their senior year and the last 3 (+ extra, so 4) is them meeting up again after a couple of years I felt made both halves feel rushed. There's also the weird way they do scene cutting that didn't feel smooth, so it was really weird to follow like an odd video editing cut back and fourth. I really wanted to see more communication between Koru and Shiraki during those 3 days. I wanted more slow, quiet moments that would've made the sex scene in chapter 3 worth it. Before, you only really saw Shiraki grow a fondness for Kuro, who was in a "he's my friend, I want to protect him" kind of mode. When the first kiss happened, I was hoping for them to talk after that, but instead, it did a cut away. I felt the same way in the second half when Shiraki confessed because now we know that Kuro still had feelings but was scared to pursue that. And when we do get a perfect "pause and talk" moment, they cut away again to a flashback. We eventually got to sit the fuck down and talk through some stuff but even that I felt like it could've been delved deeper, but I was happy we got it. I did leave this liking this couple. I left this liking this book. I felt myself about to cry during chapters 6 and the extra. But I think I went into this hoping for something like CUT and then being let down because it was close to being as emotional as CUT was.