Mimi's manga / #Tragedy(11)

It's been awhile so I want to reread this and come back here

Lord, I need to find more B/GL like this. The way it's written you can tell that they focused on character building first rather than sex and the characters themselves are very enjoyable to read. That beginning where I literally had about 2 heart attacks I was in for a ride. This story is all about one person trying to get the other to fall back in love with him after an accident that left him with a moderate case of amnesia and it's both one of the cutest and saddest manga I've read. I cried a couple of times towards and at the end because of how bittersweet this story was. I'm also just a sucker for any B/GL story where they have a child, a pet, and/or get married. That 100% fucks me up. I need this to officially be licensed so bad.

Update 2: I read this before chapter 5 and the extra was added, but I don't think I'm going to update this again after this. Felt 50/50 about this book, but I kept thinking about two of the chapters way too much that I had to own it. I thought that this manga was mainly centered around fetishes but it seems like only ch.1 & the extra is about asphyxiation. The rest of the chapters I would consider extreme but not fetish-y. Personally feel that each story here would've been better as its own thing because it feels like Hidesato wanted to write more. I think ch. 3 and 5 (from what I've skimmed through the raws) don't have enough to be whole books so they fit fine here. However, chapter 1 can stand on its own. Chapters 2 and 4 NEED their own books. In fact, I don't think 2 and 4 belong here at all. They don't fit this book to me. My thoughts on each chapter: Ch.1 - Could've been a more interesting story. The asphyxiation thing isn't my thing so it was... interesting to read, but it being a short story wasn't a good move. Ch.2 - I talk about this further down in my 1st update. Ch.3 - Didn't really have a story and was kind of weird. This one negatively felt messy and all over the place. Ch.4 - Was not prepared to read that and it's never going to lead my mind. Update 1: Looking back on it, I honestly feel that chapter 2 might not need to change anything other than its homophobic dialogue since it doesn't add to the story. It just points out how horrible of a person the main character's girlfriend is... and that's it. I love studying psychology and mental disorders are a HUGE interest of mine and why I was drawn to chapters 2 and 4 the most. When I used to be in group therapy back in my teens I met someone with MPD/DID and their stories on living together in one body gave me a lot of context into what some people go through with MPD. While not the exact same experience as it was written in this story, it was very interesting to hear. Chapter 2 embodies a lot of similar feelings and experiences that they told me as well as another book I love called Many Minds One Brain by Christopher Badger where his experience was pretty close to what I just read in this manga. Whether or not the author meant for chapter 2 to read so disjointed that the reader is just as confused as someone with this disorder may be, I'm not sure. But seeing how well done and traumatic chapter 4 was written... I think so. I honestly want to see chapters 2 and 4 get full stories. Mainly chapter 4 where it takes place either during their high school or adult years and it's about the friend who you see in the story helping the mc deal with and heal from what happened and his Maladaptive Daydreaming. Even if it's just helping by being there and comforting him. You guys, I think about this chapter and its continuation potential way too much.

This story really minds me of Kowagaranai de, Soba ni Ite in the way the couple in this story had to deal with keeping their love alive after a tragedy that centers around one of the characters. It's a very bittersweet story that made me cry more than once just like Kowagaranai de, Soba ni Ite. My only problem is that it had the chance to be even sadder with some and it kind of missed the ball on that. I wanted that "really sad" ending and those "I gotta sit my book down for a fucking moment because, fuck dude..." that I did not get. There are a couple of moments where you feel they either tried or just didn't want to push that far into anything too traumatic so they end up picking the least emotional outcome that felt flat to me. The build-ups are amazingly emotional while the outcomes are fanfic-y at best. But that doesn't change my mind on how much I love this manga. It's a great hurt/comfort book.

You ever felt like crying and throwing up at the same time? Honestly, even if dude wasn't blood related, it's still incest. Fuck the scan team and anyone else for saying it's not. I'm not mad at them for translating it only at the notes and the beginning note at the start of chapter 2.

Now that I read this prologue, I definitely recommend reading the first book first even though this comes before it in the story. Having read the first book put in so much context that having all that backstory and foreshadowing made me feel even more for everything that happened in this backstory. ... You ever just want to scream because you feel so emotionally attached to some fucking fictional characters? A part of me feels like I should have read this first before getting into Itou-san because it would have made it easier to read through kid!Itou and kid!Kyosuke's abuse. BUT the 1st book feels like an easier read compared to this that I think reading this in order of release gets you more invested in these characters. Like, by now, I found myself really emotional about the both of them... I wanted to die. What got me the most was reading through Kyosuke as a baby-baby, 5 YEARS OLD, having to go through what happened. It really reminded me of chapter 4 of Ore, Higaisha and, um... Yeah. I really just want to scream right now. Sorry, this one was a lot shorter than my feelings on the 1st book. Everything I felt there I still felt here.

... I almost did it. I almost made it to the end without crying. Short, sweet, to the point, and really fucking hurt. I didn't really think I would care this much until the road trip happened. I knew how this was gonna go, but the set up to the end was really solid as soon as I noticed the alight sad feeling I got. But what fucking did it, what fucking drew one single tear, was the post-festival ending.... Fuck you, you didn't have to do that to me. I'm in pain.

... Almost. I almost got through without crying. But I'm saying this in a mid to negative way because I don't think this story deserved my tears. I was excited coming into this because of Bokura wa Nando mo Koi o suru and how I cried so hard at the end of that story that I thought this would have me laid out on the floor the same way. To start I think it was a little confusing in the beginning who was saying what, how Nagisa felt about Kaito separate from Minato, how Kaito felt about Nagisa separate from Minato, and I'm not a fan of hate sex. Even though early on I had a feeling that Nagisa felt more than jealousy and envy towards Kaito, it was a confusing road getting there even after the festival. I wanted them to really talk more about them. Whenever there was "talking about them" it felt more like they were talking about them related to Minato rather than them related to each other. And while I can understand the conversation of them + Minato, because this is a love triangle plot, I think when they finally started to focus on them as a couple it was a little too late to get to know them as a couple. There were points toward the end that I thought was very sweet, really cute. Backstory stuff was more my favorite to read because you got to know the characters and how they felt about each other that you didn't get from the present day with the only thing missing was how Minato felt. There was one part of the flashback stuff where I did almost cried but not for the character, more so for the context around sharing a part of yourself only to be put down felt. But what actually broke me was the end with Minato's mom and his journal because as the flashbacks happened you had a feeling. You always knew. But to actually know his wish really messed me up even though I knew what it was!

... Ok. I've been putting off reading this for a bit because I remember being unsure about it but I don't know why. I remember seeing a good bit of low to negative ratings on this but I didn't read them because I don't want to know anything but what the tags tell me before going into a book... But I feel like I should've dropped this very early on. Like, the premise isn't bad, the art's fine, and there are even some points that are really sweet and emotional. But that all get's ruined by the fact that there are sex scenes with Yuki in his current mental state. Yes, I know that Tomohisa and Yuki are an established couple. Yes, I know this is a case of dissociative identity disorder. Where this gets weird and uncomfortable for me is that Yuuta, Yuki's personality, is a child and the author thought "Yeah, let's have Tomohisa & Yuuta have sex. It's still a grown man's body so it's alright, right?" and I'm honestly fucking livid about that. Not only is it weird but it's fucking disrespectful to people who deal with this personality disorder because it showed how they see a serious mental health issue. It could've been handled with so much care and display how much Tomohisa really loves and misses Yuki while also really treasuring Yuuta and wanting to keep them both safe. When you take out the sex from the present-day timeline it becomes a better story because that's the biggest problem. The saving throw for this not being 1 star or dropped mid-chapter 2 were the flashbacks. The flashbacks were the best parts in this. It was interesting enough that I wanted to know "why" and more about Yuki and his dad as well as wanting more of Tomohisa and Yuki's relationship. And even present-day wouldn't've been so bad as there were genuine heartwarming moments of Tomohisa caring for Yuki by treating Yuuta like his own child. Him really wanting Yuki back but also being afraid for his return and what would come next set fine with me. I think the reason for him worrying so much is a bit dumb since it comes down to defending himself and Yuki, but I understand from where he's standing in that situation. It just really does fall so flat for me at the end when Yuki wakes up and everything that follows because it tried to turn something uncomfortable to something wholesome by making it a family dynamic thing... with the looming knowledge that Tomohisa and Yuuta regularly had sex and, from what it sounds like in the extra chapter, still do... 2 stars feels very generous now that I think about.