trail of blood
09.10.23
it was during the pandemic that i started to read this after reading a few works of oshimi shuuzou, i remember reading their book happiness which was about vampires. i encountered them through their manga panels posted on pinterest.
an overprotective mother pushes his nephew into a cliff after they were confronted of their oddly-close mother and son relationship.
the son had always been so self-conscious and wary of his mother, afraid of doing things his mother does not like. he always thought his mother never loved him because all he could feel was the continuous empty stare he'd get from his mother. even though his mother always claimed that his son is all she ever has and that she loved his son and give everything she could ever give to him.
it suffocate the son. they never talked about the reason of their behavior, or at least there isn't anything to say because that's all there is to it. the son doesn't know how he should behave.
the son is just so confuse on how he should act because his mother never was honest even when they were getting interrogated for the death of his cousin.
there was also a time where he disobeyed his mother, leaving home after meeting the girl he had feelings for but in the end, he couldn't commit and his mother got him all bare-footed, angry at the girl and blamed the girl for his son's disobedience.
i don't know how correct i am in this part but the son was blamed the murderer by his mother and i think his mom even disowned him during the interrogation. which deeply scarred the son all his life.
he was confused, quiet and lost. flabbergasted by his own mother. he served jail and never saw his mother again. it was only his father that visited him and even took care of him after his serving. his parents filed for divorce before it anyway.
he was taken in by his father but as soon as he could get a job, he left and raised himself. he doesn't want to be a burden to anybody now. his father died, i think he cried because he felt the something real, maybe it was regret, anger or thankfulness? i don't remember.
he thought that after his fathers debt. he finally could unalive himself because no one is watching him now but there was his mother too... he doesn't know anything about his mother even after he was ir during jail.
he saw his mother, after getting a call from a police station. his mother couldn't remember his son but the son could remember his mother, having the image of the mother who blamed him.
but his mother is old and his father just died. so he took care of his mother because his mother couldn't live alone.
he took care of his mother, watching her and being patient with her. he didn't think of anything but that he is the one watching over her now.
of course, she'd die. she's old. the son didn't cry. he saw and predicted the moment of her mother's death. the last conversation they had was a figment of his imagination as he fell asleep watching his wretched mother.
nobody apologized and was things settled? nope, they only said their inner feelings towards each other. of how, the son hated his mother and how his mother genuinely loved his son.
after the death of his mother, now that he is completely alone with nobody watching him. he finally "lived" his life. he didn't commit suicide like he did after his father's death. he lived until his face sagged.
he was content.
Chi No Wadachi