beta
As an M who has yet to find the right S this is seriously something I want. I always seem to end up with someone who doesn't do any aftercare or can't be "mean" and I try to work with it but it never lasts. Last guy I dated tried rape play even though I made it very clear to him that I was uncomfortable with that. Smh where are all the good sadists at???
FRRR the sad life of an M
Believe me, good Doms and sadists are out there, just gotta be patient and screen well. Don't settle! Unfortunately the BDSM community attracts a lot of bad people who try to play off their abusive shit as part of the play. Or those who think that just because you're a Dom/top, you have absolute power and your partner has no say/can't refuse. They don't understand that you are equals who are entering into a scene where there is an agreed upon set of limits and roles. Also, aftercare is so important for both parties. I know of a couple who just couldn't make it work because the bottom would refuse immediate aftercare whilst the top needed it (his aftercare was giving his partner aftercare). He'd enter topdrop and would wallow in guilt and shame.
Personally as a sub, I used to have issues with some Doms pushing limits without giving the necessary assurance whilst in play. There was one who was all "Weeell, you're OK with anal, so I thought you'd be OK with enema play!" No, you fucking douche (pun intended), I just do it to clean up back there and I don't particularly enjoy it. Don't bitch if I safe word since I already told you it was a hard limit. Dropped his arse immediately lmao.
"there's no way they're dating" oh how the turns tables