u know i wanted to have a love story like in some manhwas the i red
thosw kind of guy thay will never live when your gone
but what is love?? how does it feel?
in my high school days my life is like some kind of kdarama series
when i was in grade 8 i started to make friends and forget about being a loner so theirs this group that is very lively and i love them cuz they love anime too
so i join their group and we all make a happy memories but....this guy named allenson hes ummmm i have a crush on him when we are in grade 7 and we totally ignore each other and were so awkward but when i found this guy named ichiro.....hes a half japanese half filipino , in our group were the one who are really close to each other cuz we are really have almost the same vibe, we both love anime, we laugh like theirs no one else around us and i share some of my problems to him
then theirs this day that we watch movie in class
the movie is scary so
im sitting at the left side, our friend that really hates scary thing sit at the meddle and ichiro sits at the right side
while we are all scared ichiro grab my hand like theirs no one in between as so im in shock and i cant think straight that day
but when my hand get sweaty i took my hands back to me and just put my hands to the shoulder of my friend in the meddle but this ichiro guy still make an excuse
he saw a mark of liquid eraser to my hand and look at it like hes interested to it but he suddenly took my hands back to his lap and hold it
like whaaaat!! so i just enjoy it ahemm hehe
but someone caught as holding hands and mistook of us being lover so i blushes and took my hands
after that day i cant forget about that day and fall for him but.... after that day he suddenly ignore me and act highly when he knew that i have a crush on him
so i felt really angry and act the same way
but allenson the guy i like last year comfort me with my other friends
and i just forget about how o felt to that ichiro
how can he think so high if im the one whose the first time having a crush on him..
oh no one likes him in romantic way ...only me
Hello ummm...u know i love children a lot and ...i love yaoi with children....and i wanted to have that kind of happy ending
U know guys because of loneliness and sadness and being scared by others and solving other problem than mine make me think of dying
I want to die cuz im already tired of my job in this world
And i ask why is world so unfair
I wanted to cry, that it felt like my eys will come out
I wanted to shout and scream like nobody cares
But i cant...i really cant cuz i dont want them to worry and make them chain my neck again
But i have a lots of dreams
I dream to be a great artist i wanted to earn respects and love
I wanted to fill the hole in my heart
I wanted to do whatever i want
I want to be like someone i know
I want to be like others living with a happy normal life without thinking of others
I want to have my own family and have a child with the one for for , the person that will give me the fulfillment of all
But how ....how can i survive this
i really want to give you a hug
That affected me tho don't worry you have supporters man! (づ￣ ³￣)づ
Idk how can u survive but I believe you can get to the top
Thank you so much for reading my story
Really thanks for the hug
Really thank you so much that makes me happy and warm gosh im crying again
U know im just gonna tell u guys how i feel cuz i cant tell anyone about
Im so lonely, i had my dreams, i dream to be a great writer or a manga artist, i dream to go to japan with my only friend but now were apart shes at u.s. now
I feel lonely not because i dont have alots of friends but im lonely cuz i feel like im invisible that no one can see my worth
Only my only friend understand what i feel
My parent and grandparents only love my cousin which is the son of the sister of my mom
He is way better than me, he smart but he is still childish even tho he is already 20
He became gay because of his adviser which is really gay and then when i feel like something went of that the way they look to each other is different , i tell my mom and grandma about it but they have a blind spot because of the fake smiles and kindness of the teach
And then whem the vacation comes this pandemic
All of the truth came out that they have secret relationship and they didnt believe me
You know why i tell them, because i dont want my cousin to get hurt because i love him as my brother
And then that gey teach just dump him and play hard to get and still his crying infront of me and asking why mee!!
If only they believe me, if only they hear me out
And now they are calling me to take all the stress of him because what if he commit suicide
But how about me? Do they even notice me
Do they think what if i die because of stress they throwing me
I wanna die from jumping to a tall building but i have my dreams how ....
When my dad tell us that hes going to go to japan
I was happy and sad at the same time you know why?
I felt sad because he will leave us and im happy because i can go their too but....
My mom make a drama she say to me" what you really going to leave me too, arent you thinking what will i feel, i will feel lonely, your just want your own happiness" but im only gonna stay their for 2 months and wutt lonely really what about me i also feel lonely and such a dumb person who dont know anything i feel small whenever im with my cousin and they even compair me to him even my granparents in my father side dont even want me because of those new child of the sisters of my dad sigh
Hi! Even though this is like a manhwa plot, this is really a tough life you're in. Even though we don't know each other and you might be living on the opposite side of the planet, I just wanna say you matter, your feelings matter, your dreams matter, your happiness matter.
I want to say talk to your mother about your feelings but I probably know it's hard to express yourself especially if they already fix their mind into something else, but there's nothing wrong into trying right? My teacher once said "If you don't ask, the answer will always be no" So go for it and give it a try. This is your dream we're talking about, and a dream is something once really want. I'm gonna cheer on you here on the opposite side of the planet!!!
Ps. You might feel lonely but trust me you're not alone.
I sorta also had a shitty family so I sorta get where youre coming from. Id say to stop putting so much value in blood ties if it's clearly not worth it and form meaningful relationships outside of family. Ive gotten to the point where I dont feel much attachment to my parents and I don't really care if they do or never acknowledge me for my worth. That's something you have to know and acknowledge yourself and be around people who genuinely do as well. I think blood ties mean nothing. Forming true meaningful relationships is what's important, that could be from family, but it also doesn't have to be
Thank u your such an amazing person
Such a positive person
But i try it once before when i get bullied
I tell her the truth about what i feel and she understand me i guess but why did she do it again?
But thanks for your advise i wish u have a good luck
Thanks for that but if i do what u say my parents and my grand parents will just tell me that
Didnt you love your family, dont you even care to him how can you pretend that you dont know things huh
But what about me did theh realize it?
I didn't know exactly what it's like for you but eventually I just stopped caring about what they thought. Their words used to enrage me to a point that definitely wasn't healthy and I probably still have some lingering trauma left, but it's important to cut out the toxicity from your life as soon as possible, even if it's family. It was really suffocating in the house so my goal was basically to be independent as soon as I could so that I could move out. Worked my butt off with 2 part time jobs in highschool so that when college came I could move out. Honestly "family love" means next to nothing to me lmao but everyone's circumstances are different, so it's up to you if you want to try and mend your relationship with them or just cut them out. At some point though, I think the effort is just not worth it.
Yeah
Im also traumatized
In my family and jn school because they bullying me because my mom tell me she knows the best for me and then what happen....i just bullied
They ruin me
Have you ever feel like when your reading you can hear the voice of every pages?
Every dialog i can here it
I feel like the writter put a silent voice in it that the only can here is the person who really understanf and feel his emotion while making it
And its really amazing
Have you ever feel of always reading yaoi and then one day u already feel tiredof reading shojo and dont even want to take a look eccept to those u already read or watch ??
Cuz yeah me im like that
im in empress phase rn
I do feel that. Somehow reading shoujo feels dull rather than yaoi now for me. It's like my hand and mind always go to yaoi and I'm experiencing it for a couple years..
Yeah always.... For me I picked shoujo later and then dropped it... The way yaoi or Shounen ai writers write story is really good..... Specially the way characters shown.........
Hahahaha
Woah haha i just got started this year...i guess march haha woah sunbae ur so loyal hehe
Who agree with me
I just read yaoi manhwa at first because im curious about it and the first yaoi that i read is love is an illusion and i really like it but one thing that i use to read yaoi is toprevent or avoid having a temp to have a boyfriend... why? Because umm my mom doesnt like it though hahaha and thisnis the best way too.. to forget about romance between man and woman but... the problem is i dont want to read or watch anything that is related to love between man and woman
Hahaha who has this kind of feeling too hahaha
I just wanted to know if their is someone like me hahahah ╮(￣▽￣)╭
I totally relate to you! The first BL I read was 'Psycho' by young dream. I couldn't stop after I read one BL. Now I'm a perverted fujoshi but no one in my class know about it. They all think that I'm an innocent little kid.
I never read female x male Smut though, Only BL.
I have never dated anyone either. More like, I'm too young to start dating. How old are you?
Your not alone (づ￣ ³￣)づ
Hahaha me too no one knows about it in my class exceot my friend hahaha
Im 14 how bout you haha
Hahaha im glad to know hahaha(≧∀≦)ヾ(☆▽☆)
That's too young to be reading Yaoi. Don't you think so? Well it doesn't really matter~ I am a minor too~
I'm 16. I'm older than you.
You're too young to be dating too. No wonder your mom doesn't allow you to date.
Yup haha thats why i need the help of yaoi too but the only person that know im a fujoshi is my 2 friend hehehe
They think im innocent oof
Hm... I don't have many friends. I turned a Yuri lover girl to a fujoshi. But we aren't talking anymore. THERE ARE NO PEOPLE AROUND ME WHO READ COMICS! (<-this is the main reason I don't have any friends in real life) Forget Yaoi! people around me don't read any comics! And I don't understand people who don't read comics.
BTW, I get that feeling when everyone thinks that you're an innocent little lady but deep down, you know how much of a pervert you are.
Do you know the reasons why they think so? Are you cute?
Oof yes i am hahaha
Their many people say that i dont know anything so im just keeping it myself and i dont have a lots of friend and umm i have some of phobia they call it antropophobia it is a fear of people or fear of hating or judge by others so i just kept smiling even though i have many thought ij my mind
I dont have that confident to say that im cute but haha someone told me that i am haha
Im just a normal a little pale skin small eyes and the nose of filipinos haha
You might be cute.
That might be toxic for you.
I do the same but it's not because I'm afraid of anything but it's just to avoid trouble.
BTW, we're chatting here... well, that's a good thing.
Haha you think so haha
Yeah thanks for replying to me
Umm can i ask if can we be friends?...
Im iori
How bout you...
Do you have tiktok?
If you then find my name
@Irish50
Sadly, I don't have a tiktok account. Actually, tiktok is banned here. But I do have a discord account:
Bamboo#9768
I would love to!
I'm Srija and I'm from India. I'd love to be friends with you!
Ooh really your my first friend from india
Do i already told you whats my nationality?
If i dont im from philippines
Why is it banned their
So sad but is this bamboo#9768 still working?
You're my first friend from Philippines too!
India is currently at odds with China. People and the government are boycotting Chinese products.
Yup, it's still working.
Bamboo#9768
Yes, it's still working. I guess you tried but it didn't work. How about you send me your ID? I'll send you a friend request.
Hello~
(●'◡'●)ﾉ
Hello...?
U know im just gonna tell u guys how i feel cuz i cant tell anyone about
Im so lonely, i had my dreams, i dream to be a great writer or a manga artist, i dream to go to japan with my only friend but now were apart shes at u.s. now
I feel lonely not because i dont have alots of friends but im lonely cuz i feel like im invisible that no one can see my worth
Only my only friend understand what i feel
My parent and grandparents only love my cousin which is the son of the sister of my mom
He is way better than me, he is smart but he is still childish even tho he is already 20...
He became gay because of his adviser which is really gay and then when i feel like something went off that the way they look to each other is different , i tell my mom and grandma about it but they have a blind spot because of the fake smiles and kindness of the teach
And then when the vacation comes this pandemic
All of the truth came out that they have a secret relationship and they didnt believe me
You know why i tell them, because i dont want my cousin to get hurt because i love him as my brother
And then that gay teach just dump him and play hard to get and still hes crying infront of me and asking why mee!!
If only they believe me, if only they hear me out
And now they are calling me to take all the stress out of him because of the what if he commit suicide
But how about me? Do they even notice me
Do they think what if i die because of stress they throwing me
I wanna die from jumping to a tall building but i have my dreams how ....
How can i stay possitive if they suffocate me ... i cant even forget about my past
They think that im a lil girl who doesnt know anything, a girl that always put smiles on her face but nooo!! All of it is just my mask that i dream
I just pretend just to make you all happy i want everyone not to think about the dark reality... i want you to look at me and see my worth
I want you all to know that im not innocent kid who dont know what trauma is...im a girl with a grown ups thoughts
I hate thinking of having those bad thoughts or getting angry to them cuz i love them so much that if they look at me in the eyes telling me they loved me so much i ....i cant help but not think about getting angry to them ....it touched my heart when they tell me those words and thats my weakness like all of the heroes they all have weaknesses and thats mine
I’m just like you.Trying to make everyone happy is exhausting. I also wanted my parents attention , I gave up tho. No matter what I did, they never told me how proud they were or “I love you”. Your not alone my friend hope you know that
Darling, remember, you live for you and you alone, do as you please. It’s irresponsible that your family just dumped ur cousins issues onto you. It’s only natural you’d feel as if ur suffocating if they only come to u under circumstances like this. Honestly though, it seems to me that Your contradicting feelings towards your family are eating away at you. Try having a heart to heart moment with urself to really understand what ur feeling and where it’s coming from. Once you understand urself well enough, maybe try talking to ur family about how you feel towards their treatment towards you.
were tired but no one sees it right
they just look at us like everythings okay
let it out here if you still need someone to hear you out im hear for you
thank you for that
it make me felt so warm
i will remember this