beta
Keep seeing comments about how Brett is playing with Hayden but I think that’s a misunderstanding of their conversation. Maybe it’s easier for most of us to identify with Hayden - similar to Hayden, we feel like Brett has all the power right now (we’re also probably more emotional like Hayden lmao)
but imo, Brett IS taking his relationship with Hayden super seriously and is trying to treat Hayden as equally as possible - ie putting tons of effort into thinking about Hayden’s preferences, making sure Hayden’s “career” benefits from associating with him, etc. that’s the main reason why he feels like Hayden is insulting him the whole time in this convo and their prior ones: (1) Hayden claiming that Brett ISN’T taking the relationship seriously when in fact, Brett feels like he’s been putting a lot of effort into it; saying that (2) Brett is using him as a toy as escapism from his boring, high class life, when Brett has been trying hard to treat Hayden as an equal (Brett: “This relationship started only because I tricked you into it. Since then, I’ve tried my best not to be dishonest with you about anything.”)
From Brett’s pov, he knows Hayden wants his love, but as a hyper-rational person, love feels just too abstract for him. It’s not something he feels like he can promise concretely or even fully understand - and for Brett, not delivering on a promise means he’s failed his end of the bargain. So for Brett, being the MOST honest about what he feels like he can give Hayden concretely is his way of respecting Hayden as an equal. It’s also how he’s been taught since young: giving tangible, concrete gifts (““I can’t promise that kind of intangible emotion from my end, nor do I want to”)
Brett doesn’t have that love to give to Hayden, and he’s not sure if he ever will. he thinks that Hayden will be inevitably be disappointed even if he waits for it, and then will leave the relationship, WHICH BRETT DOESN’T WANT!! so Brett is basically like - I know that I can’t give you what you want and that you’ll leave eventually. But I’d like this to last as long as it can, so what can I give you instead? He’s seeing this as a negotiation between two ppl and views Hayden issuing love ultimatums as one-sided, like he’s browbeating Brett over the head and deciding things on his own.
Basically it breaks down to:
For Hayden: I want your (Brett’s) love
For Brett: I don’t want our relationship to end.
In some ways, both are related to dominance. Hayden wants Brett to give his feelings because Brett would actually be giving up something ie. making himself vulnerable and risking himself. Brett doesn’t want Hayden to one-sidedly end the relationship and leave no room for negotiation/prolonging the relationship based on other terms; he doesn’t want to give Hayden the power to set the terms of when the relationship ends.
DELICIOUS DELICIOUS stuff from the author as usual I’m utterly obsessed