
I'm a chapter or two late but wtf??? How tf did that happen to the zucchini???? She drained it of its fuckin life force or something like a vampire.
Also, why the fuck would you use a zucchini???? A cucumber makes sense but zucchinis are prickly and I mean you can wash them to scrape off all the spiny little hairs, but I wouldn't trust it enough to shove it up there -- imagine you miss a few of the prickly hairs. The itch you have would be impossible to deal with, I'd throw myself off a bridge.

Lol, we grow zucchini almost every year in our garden and ours always grow with these tiny hairs. They're very small and thin, but they go into your skin and make you itch like hell. It makes the squash almost prickly to the touch.
I've never bought one from the store but based on the replies I'm getting, I assume they scrub them down when they're processed since that pretty much takes care of the prickly little hairs.
I would still use a cucumber though-
Like I said, I wouldn't want to risk there being even one of those itchy, prickly hairs still on the thing
Go off the deep end
Talk your shit
Fuck em up