Ivory's Manga

so the idea of the story is fine however it's poorly put together. I don't know if it was actually originally written like this or if it was just badly translated. in chapter 2 the thoughts that kyle was having were weird. he started thinking like Owen bumped into me maybe he thinks I'm weird for asking for his shirt back so ill stop but it was still his fault and then Owen just takes his phone and gives his number because he owes a shirt so kyle just randomly starts thinking "wow this took a turn" like OoOoOoHh what a turn of events *rolls eyes* (sorry, just thought this part was too exaggerated and unrealistic) anyway, chapter 13 and 14 were a big problem for me. in chapter 13 after he gets annoyed at Jayden for saying insensitive stuff about his dad leaving kyle just has a flashback with the annotations as if he were talking to someone but it was just himself in a flashback. had kyle been thinking about it by himself and after the flashback brought up what Jayden had said in his thoughts too than it might've made more sense. in chapter 14 Owen asks about his past and kyle tells him the same thing that was in chapter 13 which is weird. if the author had changed it so that the flashback wouldn't happen until this point in the story than there wouldn't be much of a problem or they could've just fixed chapter 13 and instead of reexplaining everything that was already stupid in the last chapter, to begin with than they could've replaced it with a box that said something along the lines of "explained everything about my mother pressure and how it affected me to Owen" or something like that. to be honest this story would have such good reviews if it was looked over more before being published.