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The only thing Inhun is worse than Seungho is him being fake. He always acts virtuous and moral, pretending to care for his students, while in fact he doesn’t give a shit about them. He gave Nakyum false hope and use Nakyum’s affection to achieve his self-interest. Whereas Seungho doesn’t give a shit what others would think about him and he does what he wants, and he’s starting to feel something for my baby.
Thhe thing i have problem with is that some of you are blaming Inhun for his act of “victim blaming, victing shaming, victim exploitation and mental abuse”. You also blamed him for physically abusing Nakyum (chapter 34) and for manipulating Nakyum to do his biddings.
Yet when Seungho did the same thing- the manipulation (he took advantage of Nakyum’s affection for his teacher), the physical abuse (he slapped Nakyum’s face, broke Nakyum’s nose), and even worse the obvious rape-till-exhaustion, you overlook his wrongdoings on grounds of historical setting. As far as i’m concerned, a mere half a century ago victim blaming was the norm in a lot of countries. If you got raped, you’d be a slut and people wouldn’t feel bad calling you so. Teachers using corporal punishment was encouraged, especially with the use of rod and verbal abuse. Some even made their students kneel on spiky objects till their knees bleed and bruise, or slapped them in the face, and other more humiliating kinds. The saying “spare the rod, spoil the child” was very prevalent.
In sum, Seungho and Inhun has a lot in common. What Inhun did was historically acceptable and nowhere as horrible as that of Seungho. So i think it’s kinda hypocritical to despise Inhun for those things and not Seungho, because at this point what Seungho did is still worse and he hasn’t done anywhere near enough to make up for it.
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.I just can't understand NK anymore. He claims to "pine for" and "like" the teacher, yet ever since he woke up from his rape-to-exhaustion-bed-ridden comma he has been doing the opposite. Lying, then letting himself be touched without even raising any objections, and even begging for a hug after being slapped from THE one who basically ruined his relationship... (〜 ̄△ ̄)〜.
I get that he has an underlying desire for sodomy, but still i just can't stand how he throws away his self-respect to beg for comfort from someone who basically abuses him every chance he gets. Since when he changed from crying, resenting, and sulking for 2 days for his loss of virginity to this desperate, pathetic human being? After being abused he suddenly has the hot for the one who abused him? What triggers this change? I thought he just put up with it for the sake of his beloved teacher, but apparently that's not the case. I feel so enraged I can't even. I guess he is not the loyal type but a masochist who would fall for whoever could fulfill his subconscious sexual desire.
No, he asked Seungho to hold him as to have sex with him, and I believe it's because he needs a distraction. If you remember, when Nakyum is sad and heartbroken he would always drink. Also in same chapter, I believe it was said that Nakyum skipped his meals the whole day to keep drwaing, but that kind of distraction wasn't helping much.
I'm not entirely disagreeing with you, because in some chapters, Nakyum seemed off like everything is fine for him and he is starting to like Seungho, but I don't know, so far it's still confusing.
he actually confessed to the scholar but the scholar just showed his disgust towards nakyum (bcs of what he draws) so nakyum was heartbroken + seungho kept on bothering him. at the end of the chap, nakyum completed a ot of drawings alr i believe that was to console his heartbreak and he finally asked seungho to hold him aso bcs he was heartbroken. not the best way to handle it imo but after being said things by the person he respected and loved the most it's kinda understandable
Well let’s remember that this story is portrayed way back in time, so what we call rape isn’t considered to be rape back then. This doesn’t justify what Seungho did to him but we still have to keep in mind that this are different times and different way of thinking
Well i hope that's the case. I really hope the author could somehow justify NK's seeming attraction towards SH after being raped, why he lied to the man he yearns for all his life for the sake of his abuser, and why he doesn't object to being touched anymore. Otherwise i think I've been hyping this manhwa for nothing and been misled into thinking that this manhwa has a good plot, that it's different from numerous other cliched stories where the ukes got raped and then fall for the rapists for no apparent reason.
Still doesn't explain why his attitude and sentiments transform completely from utter resentment to attraction and acceptance after being abused though.
I am seriously crying man
Well Seungho is the only person that NK met that has accepted his sexuality. Also in the 40 chapter the teacher really insulted him because of his sexuality and even called him a whore so I guess NK was tired of teacher not accepting his sexuality and feelings and wanted to be with someone who at list valued him even if it was just for his body.
Nakyum doesn't have a "relationship" with In Hun. At best, he's like a puppy to In Hun, someone who admires the Sir on puts him in pedestal...
You don't get my comment. SH didn't accept NK, he raped him to exhaustion. Yet right after that (chap34-35) he got "butterflies", which is not how a normal rape victim would react. Even if this was in a historical setting, that doesn't mean NK wouldn't be traumatized. But the way he reacted was completely out of character, from lying to IH, to enjoying SH's touch...as in my 1st comment.
As for the teacher insulting him, he chose the person who basically wrecked his, well, perceived chance of being together with the person he yearns for most. The person who was the cause of all his predicament and misery, the person who caused him to be called whore (in fact if you look at it from IH's standpoint, his insults were completely understandable, given NK's lies to him, not for the sake of him but for SH. He thought NK had a complete change of heart after he slept with SH, hence his insults. Anyone in that era would've done the same). That's why i said he's not the loyal type but a masochist.
I guess while the author doesn't change the fact that SH and IH are still the douchbags they are, NK is the only one acting out of character to create some romance, which unfortunately ruined the good plot and character development she was trying to build from the beginning.
NK did not have an attraction to SH in the first place. He is subconsciously into sodomy and he wants to do it with/ lust after his teacher. If he was always attracted to SH he wouldn't be turned off the night he remembered or bawl his eyes out and run away after that.
Also if he didn't have self-respect aka pride, why would he talk back to SH to protect his teacher's honor? Why bother protecting his virginity? Why would he listen to his teacher and offend SH even when he knows he would be punished?
(Well i'm not native speaker so i might be wrong with the word choice. But i hope you get what i mean)
And he only was attracted towards SH after waking up from being raped to unconsciousness, which as i said earlier, is completely out of character.
"He is obsessed with the teacher and would defend him until he dies."
That's my point. His obsession. He saved his virginity for his teacher from the day he was obsessed, which i think lasted many years. So then why, after being brutally abused, he simply forgot his obsession and no longer objected to being touched by anyone other than the teacher? He no longer feels the slightest bit of contempt towards SH, and didn't appear to be hurt after being abused at all. On the contrary, he doesn't even try to hide that he liked it. It's like his obsession for IH just vaporized over night.
No this is way before the teacher rejected him. He woke up from his comma, feeling butterflies. It's commonsense that, because human has feelings no matter in which era you are in, you don't get the hot for your abuser right after being abused right? NK did for no apparent reason. Then he flat-out lied to the teacher for no apparent reason, for the sake of the abuser. Then he no longer even try to protect whatever he has left for his beloved teacher. It's worth noting that, before his comma, he utterly objected to the touching. He resented SH for taking his virginity. So where was all that after he woke up?
Anw, it bugs me alot how NK reacted after he woke up, but i was trying to overlook it bc overall the story still has a good plot. However I just couldn't accept/ stand it when he asked for sex after being humiliated by the slap. Your comment resolves it. If the story was going in the direction of NK's self-destruction then it's ok for me bc it's makes more sense and is consistent with the storyline, although we would have a lot of angst.
I agree that SH mistreated NK but let’s not forget that he showed some affection too. What about the situation with teach and NK I can only say that after getting rejected and insulted by the one you love it’s quite understandable that NK would want to be with someone who at list has some affection for him.
"First, many people do end up having feelings for abusers though. But they still stay because they have feelings". Well as you say, bc they have feelings. But you also say NK doesn't have romantic feelings for SH. So this is not the case. Besides, i repeat that his reaction suddenly change from utter resentment to attraction and acceptance for no apparent reason right after being brutally abused and before being insulted by IH. That's where i have problem with and i was trying to overlook it bc of the overall good plot.
We don't know the reason he asked for sex yet, but i hope you are right about wanting more pain. Not that i want more pain for him but like you said i don't want this story to head towards becoming a cliche.
that what is called accepted the abuse cause he does not love himself and basically got used to abuse by his kidnapper. feel free to think it's a good plot, I think it's a crap plot XD each and their opinion I guess.
Are we reading the same comic? He didn't wake up from his comma with butterflies in his stomach, 1- Nakyum firstly asked if Inhun asked about him being ill but got heartbroken when the servant told him Inhun didn't ask about him not even once. 2- Nakyum knew that Seungho bought him medicines and gave him the warmest room to recover fast. 3- In the evening he was scared shitless when Seungho showed up and asked him "where are you going?" Then he ran away but Seungho didn't go after him. So Nakyum's actions are actually reasonable if you think about it, he doesn't even fear Seungho anymore to raise his voice on him like that. My guess for the next chapter, i think Nakyum wants to sleep with Seungho for one of those reasons 1- he wants to play a dangerous game, make master hoon fall for him and get informations for sir inhun so he can "accept" him OR 2- he wants a painful sex just to distract himself, either way my guess is Seungho will refuse to sleep with him because he's smart, he already knows Nakyum is crying because of Inhun and his pride won't allow him to be used as a distraction (remember how he hated being called "sir" the first time they had sex?)
But NK didnt have a relationship with Sh in the first place! It's not like he voluntarily entered into a relationship with Seungho then later found out Sh is abusive. He was forced upon from day one!
Please read chapter 35 for the word "butterflies". Even if Sh had the decency to bring him to the warmer room, isn't that basic human decency after committing such a horrible act? For me it's not enough to illicit such reaction, and have a change of heart and lied to his teacher. Then enjoy the touch of the abuser who inflicted so much damage on your life (Nk's prospect with IH), your health and mental state.
I think we should stop the conversation here.
NK lied to his teacher because he didn't want him to know that they were sleeping together so he won't get the wrong idea
At first i tried to justify it like you, but the image of person in his mind, the reason behind him lying, was not IH, but SH. (see chap35)
Thats why i said his character is inconsistent and not loyal. And IH was right, he had a change of heart that night when the younger lord visited while he was getting a bj from Sh. later he fell for Sh’s pained expression, which was the reason he lied. I really hope author-san can somehow justify that, because initially i love Nk the most, for his innocence, his romance, his struggle with his subconscious desire, and his loyalty . Now three of those are no longer, which is why I’m frustrated.
Thank you
When Nakyum said butterflies I thought it was a mistake in translation, because how is it even possible? So random
Lol i did try many times to understand why he had a change of heart and lied, [again my ranting] after being fcked to half death. Thats not how a normal human would react. I tried to overlook and rationalize it alot of times but it has come near the point where i can no longer. Let's see what happens next then. For now from what i see i can't convince you to agree with me no matter how hard i tried to reason, and i just can't see it from ur pov bc our sentiments are different. We just have to agree to disagree. Adios.
Ikr! It baffled and bugged me sooo much the way he reacted. Since then i was just waiting for the following chapters to rectify that but i guess it will not be happening.
Prior to chap 35 the manhwa has such a good plot and good character development :((( so it would be a shame if it turns out like every other rape manga out there. I hope it would never come to that.
I agree in all of your statement. This manhwa is so good but it's honestly starting to get cliché. It's like Nakyum's falling for Seungho out of nothing. I know that they'll walk the romantic trope, but can the author please give justification for Nakyum's character?
Thank you. I got so hooked with this manhwa that i was willing to overlook alot of inconsistencies, but my patience is thinning and hence my ranting here >.<
We are all modern people, and believe it or not i'm not even seeing it from modern point of view. Heck i'm Asian (south-east asia), i watched a lot of historical k-dramas growing up, study the culture and history, and read a fair amount of historical romance and rape yaoi. So i don't think there is any ground to call it a mistake :)
One final point is, domestic abuse took place alot back in the day when i was small, in the country i live (it still takes place now just not as much), and around my area (which is the most developed city in my developing country) and even in my own home, i can tell you the reason the victim chose to stick with the abuser wasn't because she has feelings for him, but bc she is financially dependent on him, or she endures the pain for the sake of her kids, or probably other kinds of restraints, or she may forgive him after a looong while (unwillingly, if he apologizes), but never out of her own volition. So idk where you live, maybe you see people stick with the abuser for the lingering feelings, but from what i see, that's never the case here. No human being could possibly has the hot for the abuser right after being brutally abused. Maybe the victim could change her mind, but that'll take plenty of time. Not right after being beaten/raped to half death. The feelings the victims have can only be negative. Hatred, fear, anguish, contempt, resentment. Not love. Maybe once but not after the abuse. Because the impact of the violence is long-lasting.
In POTN, Nk didn't even stay with Sh that long. 2 months at most. And forcefully not willingly. But the day he woke up he felt butterflies, and only 2-3 days later he lied, and the day after that he let Sh touch him without so much as pretending to dislike it. I saw someone mention Stockholm syndrome, but that shit only applies for kidnap victim with no violence involved. So thats why romanticizing him with Sh right after the abuse is just outright ridiculous.
And that conclude my ranting conversation here. You can have the last word if you want, but I don't think there's any point in prolonging the conversation.
We are all modern people, and believe it or not i'm not even seeing it from modern point of view. Heck i'm Asian (south-east asia), i watched a lot of historical k-dramas growing up, study the culture and history, and read a fair amount of historical romance and rape yaoi. So i don't think there is any ground to call it a mistake :)
One final point is, domestic abuse took place alot back in the day when i was small, in the country i live (it still takes place now just not as much), and around my area (which is the most developed city in my developing country) and even in my own home, i can tell you the reason the victim chose to stick with the abuser wasn't because she has feelings for him, but bc she is financially dependent on him, or she endures the pain for the sake of her kids, or probably other kinds of restraints, or she may forgive him after a looong while (unwillingly, if he apologizes), but never out of her own volition. So idk where you live, maybe you see people stick with the abuser for the lingering feelings, but from what i see, that's never the case here. No human being could possibly has the hot for the abuser right after being brutally abused. Maybe the victim could change her mind, but that'll take plenty of time. Not right after being beaten/raped to half death. The feelings the victims have can only be negative. Hatred, fear, anguish, contempt, resentment. Not love. Maybe once but not after the abuse. Because the impact of the violence is long-lasting.
In POTN, Nk didn't even stay with Sh that long. 2 months at most. And forcefully not willingly. But the day he woke up he felt butterflies, and only 2-3 days later he lied, and the day after that he let Sh touch him without so much as pretending to dislike it. I saw someone mention Stockholm syndrome, but that shit only applies for kidnap victim with no violence involved. So thats why romanticizing him with Sh right after the abuse is just outright ridiculous.
And that conclude my ranting conversation here. You can have the last word if you want, but I don't think there's any point in prolonging the conversation.
Nope i never had that expectation. I just find the plot very realistic prior to chap35, because author-san portrays what rape really is. She depicted Sh and Nk so real just like how normal human beings would act and behave in the. feudal time. SH as an abusive lord, and Nk as a drunken lowborn but very loyal, very brave and sacrificial when it comes to his teacher. Then she stopped doing that for the romance, and Nk was so out of character. I don't argue about the dark plot, or Nakyum feeling worthless (that i have agreed upon) or anything, just the way she executed it, the details leading to that plot from chap35 onwards, are full of inconsistencies, like what i was ranting again and again in my above comments.
Haizzz why was i even bother trying -_- . I guess there's no point trying to argue about the abusive thingy. And also you made an assumption about my "mistake" of seeing it from the "modern" standpoint, hence my lengthy paragraph. What i mean is, I'm familiar with the history and culture here. Period.
Anw, you forgot to include "with no violence involved", which is more important.
What i was trying to say the whole time, from my 1st comment, is how out of character Nk is. He is weak yes, but he's not when it comes to his teacher. He talked back at the lord even when knowing he could be punished. He accepted being raped, twice, for Ih. He said he pine for Ih, like Ih. But that changed 180 degree after he woke up. And that, That, is what i have problems with. Nk being out of character. Nk's abrupt change of motivation (from love for one person to sex with another). Nk's unrealistic reaction after being brutally raped. NOT Nk being weak, or can't fall for Sh. Haiz.
And right after that he had the butterflies for Sh. ( ̄∇ ̄"). You see my point?
I mean isn't the point of this story to show the uke falling in love with his abuse crazy murder partner that kidnaps him? of course it won't make any sense since it is Stockholm syndrome. isn't it the point? to not make any sense? since the Seme can murder anyone he wants and nothing will happen to him or rape anyone he wants with no price.
I know eventually Nk and Sh will end up a couple. But the author did make sense before he woke up, then she stopped making sense Σ(  ̄□ ̄||). And Stockholm only happens when there’s no violence involved though ╮( ̄▽ ̄)╭
not really, Stockholm happens after you be kidnap for a while and forced to stay with someone until you totally only see his point of view. it can involve violence, rape and especially terror. the fact that the uke thinks a crazy murder can be "nice" is already didn't make sense to me in writing and it happens in the very early chapters before even chapter 30.
also, I felt it didn't make sense from the start the murder not have any effect on anyone and the story. that's why I said, it is a crap plot ╮( ̄▽ ̄)╭
I went through the entire thread and I realise you have a problem with the way NK woke up with butterflies in his stomach after he was sick when he saw Seungho. I think you might have missed it but the author did try to add some deeper context to his attraction towards Seungho. If you go back and check that chapter, you will see the chapter starts with the teacher punishing NK for his art work. And NK tearfully promising never to draw such filth again. But at the same time the Seungho (in the dream) calls him a liar, says he knows NK loves drawing erotica. Here it should be understood that for a boy like NK, who had nothing but his artwork, no matter what he drew he must have been proud of it. After all what is an artist without his work. But Seungho not only supports his artwork but admires it to the point of obsession. Any human being no matter how much they dislike a person will be at some inner level pleased if there work is appreciated. I think the same happens for NK. It's a internal dilemma of sorts, There is the teacher he likes, but that person is disgusted with his work. And there is Seungho who abuses him but admires his work. I think that acceptance is a point of attraction.
Now coming to the second point, why he lied to the teacher there are 2 reasons for it I think. First NK is not a bad person, he saw the shaking of Seungho's hand during the conversation with the brother (after all he has never seen Seungho show any weakness he must have been surprised) and the conflict on his face after his brother left (also the readers are not privy to the conversation between Seungho and his brother) but NK might have felt some sympathy for Seungho if the reason for his ostracization by his family is due to his homosexuality. So, at some level he must understand that snitching about Seungho's condition would be a bad thing to do irrespective of his love for the teacher. Also by this point as I mentioned above, at some subconscious level he does find Seungho's acceptance likable(even if it comes wrapped in abuse)
P.S. He is a low born, realistically speaking he is not supposed to have a lot of self respect and pride. Those things come from a place of entitlement and upbringing. When you are born and brought up with the confidence that you have worth and value. One "learns" to respect themselves. Nobody is born with respect. And if a person is lucky they have the right surroundings and environment for that to happen.
I went through the entire thread and I realise you have a problem with the way NK woke up with butterflies in his stomach after he was sick when he saw Seungho. I think you might have missed it but the author did try to add some deeper context to his attraction towards Seungho. If you go back and check that chapter, you will see the chapter starts with the teacher punishing NK for his art work. And NK tearfully promising never to draw such filth again. But at the same time the Seungho (in the dream) calls him a liar, says he knows NK loves drawing erotica. Here it should be understood that for a boy like NK, who had nothing but his artwork, no matter what he drew he must have been proud of it. After all what is an artist without his work. But Seungho not only supports his artwork but admires it to the point of obsession. Any human being no matter how much they dislike a person will be at some inner level pleased if there work is appreciated. I think the same happens for NK. It's a internal dilemma of sorts, There is the teacher he likes, but that person is disgusted with his work. And there is Seungho who abuses him but admires his work. I think that acceptance is a point of attraction.
Now coming to the second point, why he lied to the teacher there are 2 reasons for it I think. First NK is not a bad person, he saw the shaking of Seungho's hand during the conversation with the brother (after all he has never seen Seungho show any weakness he must have been surprised) and the conflict on his face after his brother left (also the readers are not privy to the conversation between Seungho and his brother) but NK might have felt some sympathy for Seungho if the reason for his ostracization by his family is due to his homosexuality. So, at some level he must understand that snitching about Seungho's condition would be a bad thing to do irrespective of his love for the teacher. Also by this point as I mentioned above, at some subconscious level he does find Seungho's acceptance likable(even if it comes wrapped in abuse)
P.S. He is a low born, realistically speaking he is not supposed to have a lot of self respect and pride. Those things come from a place of entitlement and upbringing. When you are born and brought up with the confidence that you have worth and value. One "learns" to respect themselves. Nobody is born with respect. And if a person is lucky they have the right surroundings and environment for that to happen.
I know we all really can't explain Nk's behaviour at this point. But I think it's safe to say from what i've observed is that right now, what Nk is feeling is NOT love. We know that but he doesn't l. Imho, he's attempting to get validation from someone that he's atleast wanted by somebody. You'd think that if a person like Nk just heard his sole mentor and only guide IH speak that he disgusted IH, he would be devastated.
I think this is his shitty attempt to feel validated, wanted and actually cared about and in that case, Seungho's actions do bring a false idea, because note that everyone in story is jealous because Nk gets seungho's attention like bobody has even though it ends up in him being hurt. That kind makes him feel special. There is bothing romantic here...at least not at this point. So yes, even though Nk may seem like an idiotic shit right now, it's actually valid.
But one thing to note is that, from the beginning, Nk was never portrayed as a morally upright person. He enjoys sodomy but what kept him in his place was IH. Now that that's gone, he feels like he has lost his anchor maybe.
Also, stockholm syndrome is a thing.
I agree with everything you said
You are completely right... Don't let them discourage you of your opinion.
Oh and might I add, maybe NK was having butterflies when he first woke faced SH was because he had to drink the "energy tonic"? Could that have contributed?
1st: Nk knows Sh’s appreciation for his work from day one. from the first moment they met. It’s not a secret. Still he refused to work for Sh. Several times. For Ih’s sake. So why he chose the one moment after being brutally raped to unconsciousness to be “pleased”? ╮( ̄▽ ̄)╭. Shouldnt he feel pleased earlier? (which wasn’t shown in any chapter prior to chap34)
On top of that, I don’t think being raped feel very pleasurable. Other than being forced to ejaculate against your will, he got his anus ripped, and he couldn’t get any rest despite being exhausted because Sh was busy satisfying his mighty dick in and out of, over and over, the ripped anus for a whole afternoon (several hours). If that doesn’t scream pain and torture idk what does. Let’s not forget that before that Nk was also got his face smashed, was penetrated without any hint of pleasure after he remembered, and was forced to swallow Sh, dick and cum, before FLEEING his pants out of sheer resentment. Yes he subconsciously loves sex. But I doubt he loves pain or humiliation. Being raped and tormented does not equal pleasure. So do you think his subconscious desire can overpower his prolonged pain, exhaustion, and resentment after he just woke up from exactly those torments? Could a normal human being forget ALLL that and fell butterflies for his abuser right after being raped to exhaustion, all because of a dream? He doesn’t appear to forget being brutalized over and over again after waking up, and I seriously doubt that he desires Sh’s obsession, aka experiencing raped and brutalized like that, again.
2nd. Nk is not a bad person yes. But between his beloved teacher, whom he has tried to please his whole life, and Sh, who stands in his way between him and his teacher, who do you suppose he would naturally side with? He knows how important that is to his teacher. If anything involves his teacher he would automatically get involved (as shown in earlier chapter). He witnessed the Sir’s desperation. Obviously that would mean if he chose to tell, he would have got his teacher’s approval/ appreciation right? Plus Seungho’s sexual orientation was notoriously known among nobles and peasants. Sh’s feud with his dad was not uncommon either, it was obvious from the beginning of the story as there was a rumor that Sh got his topknot cut off by his dad. That’s not a secret to keep so no need to worry about snitching. And those minor details like Sh’s hand shaking and having trouble sleeping, he could have purposefully omitted that and tell Ih about the conversation. But he CHOSE to fail his teacher. For the sake of Sh (not himself nor Ih). After getting a bj and some back hug from Sh. Which is why i said he had a change of heart and was not loyal and a masochist. Hence my first comment about not understanding Nk anymore. He forsake his initial motivation, which is Ih, for the one who abused him mentally, physically and sexually, for no apparent reason.
And about Nk being disgusted by the Sir for his drawing, that’s not a strong enough reason to have a change of heart and lie. Nk knows his teacher despise those things a year prior to his meeting with Sh, yet he still chose to endure pain and humiliation for him. And again, the feeling of abandonment does not justify his having butterflies after blah blah (you know my rant)
And now it looks like i’m defending Ih (〜 ̄△ ̄)〜. Just to be clear, i do ship Nk and Sh. Just not at the expense of good plot and character development.
I would like to talk about your 2nd point first. I completely agree that NK has always wanted to please his teacher. He gave up his art and would give up much more for him. I agree. But that doesn't mean he can spy on another person for him. That is truly morally corrupt behaviour because when he has to snitch against SH. That act does not involve only himself or sacrificing something about himself. He is compromising another person.
I really don't think the author wants to paint NK as such a character who would completely give up all morals for his love. I am saying maybe it's like he is blind in love yes, but not completely forgone. (
I know a lot of people would argue here with usage of the term, give up "morals" completely and say he is into sodomy and erotica. But in my opinion sexual practices and orientation do not form a person's morality. But that's my opinion. That's how I see it.)
I truly think betraying SH (yes he is a first rate asshole) would paint NK in a really bad light as a character. Because it's not about who SH is a person. It will be about who is NK as a person. Somebody needs to have some good in this crazy mess.
To summarize, he might be blinded by his love for the teacher. But he is not so forgone that he will do anything. (I mean that would be like those desperate lovers of those villainous characters where they can literally stoop down to any level to please the one they love just to get a scrap of affection)
Now for the 1st point...I understand what you're saying that in all the moments NK had to feel pleased about SH. Why feel pleased after recovering from being raped.
I have a theory about this (tbh I am sure the author is not putting so much thought into this, might be going with the flow). Maybe the author is trying to connect physical connection with mental/heart connection. (I know calling rape a physical connection sounds insane but it is still yaoi with a dark seme character tbh)
Like how in any "normal/sane" relationship people feel more connected after more physical connection (the first kiss for example).
All this ofc, quite a bit of conjecture that I am drawing out here.
Also, SH is not a sane and nice character, a greyish character bordering more on the black side. If NK has to like him (I am using the word like a little liberally here), he has to like him at his worst. I know that sounds f***ed up but I think it is not possible for the author to show a very conventional progression.
I think it would not be fair to expect that SH would suddenly change for NK out of love and NK would find a life long friend and partner. I think that would be more out of character. If they have to like each other they have to like in this messed up way only. It is not a very conventional set up to begin with. I mean abusive bullies/criminals/murders also have partners who love them in real world setting too. So, there is some kind of psychology working that is difficult to explain and even more difficult to understand.
Maybe, we might see character development in both of them. But they both cannot change completely. NK has to somewhere in his heart find a liking/attraction/something for SH at his worst or there is no story.
Thank you. I agree it is a culmination of factors at work here that is drawing NK to Seungho.
NK's artwork is obviously a manifestation of his inner sexual self that either he is unaware of or he is suppressing.